Squiggy Squiggman quotes from Laverne & Shirley

Lenny

Boy, am I going to dream about her tonight!

Just don't make those gurgley sounds...

Laverne

This is the creepiest thing I've ever seen!

Hello!

Shirley

You marry a man with a square head, no neck, and hair on his thumbs, you know what your kids are gonna turn out like?

Hello!

Lenny

Shirl, you are a saint.

She's better than a saint, she's a... pope.

Laverne

Go get some blankets from the bedroom.

[Excitedly] Bedroom!!

Laverne

C'mon guys, I gotta get her out of these wet clothes.

Okay, start with the shirt and do it slow...

Edna

[To Frank] Quit complaining, you could look a lot worse.

Hello!

Shirley

There is nothing more despicable to me than this place.

Hello!

What's with all the tropical flora?

Lenny

Didn't you used to go out with her?

No, that was Theresa DeFluca

Shirley

Do you know what? Girls love plants.

What do you do, you wait for them to lie down, and then kind of rub it all over their bodies?

Shirley

I'm telling you Laverne, this whole thing is sick and morbid.

[Crying] Hello!

Shirley

Not now guys! I don't have the time.

Lenny

[Crying] She doesn't have the time!

Laverne

Squiggy, do you know the Purple Fiends?

Know them? They beat me up three times!

Laverne

Squiggy, true or false...

True!

Laverne

I didn't ask the question yet!

Yes, you did. You said, "Squiggy, true or false?" I'm Squiggy, that would be true.

[Referring to a bowl of mushy food] It's brown now, that means it was yellow once! Would you like some Shirley... I always eat something when I'm nervous

Shirley

[Swallowing hard and placing hand on her chest to hider her disgust] No, thanks, I'm fasting... religious reasons.

[Hugging Lenny] Alright Lenn, I'll take that stupid drivers test! And I'll pass it too! But not for me...FOR MY BEST FRIEND! I'll just have to fall apart some other time.

Lenny

[Chocking] Squig you're chocking me to death!