A character in Laverne & Shirley
Played by Penny Marshall
Laverne & Shirley · 172 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Laverne & Shirley: in 73 of its 172 quotes
Most scenes with: Shirley Feeney (38), Lenny Kosnowski (12), Squiggy Squiggman (10)
[Reading Squiggy's driving test grade out loud] Your test score was........73! A passing grade!
YOU'VE PASSED?!?
YOU PASSED! SQUIGGY YOU DID IT YOU PASSED!!!
[Smiling] I pass I pass.
Yeah I knew you could.
Aw you jerk.
Laverne[Reading Squiggy's little black book about Shirley] Shirley Feeney, Must be carefull with this one. [Shirley smiles and leaves Lenny & Squiggy's Apartment] Wants to marry me and have my baby.
[Screams]
Laverne[Laughing] Miss Shirley Squigman and the squiglett!
LaverneYou're nothing but a yellow-bellied cream puff!
Cream puff?! Cream puff?! I'll have you know that cream puffs don't have bellies!
LaverneI've got better things to do than spend my time in the kitchen!
Oh yeah? Well answer me this - how do you intend on keeping a husband happy, hmmm?
[Laverne smiles suggestively]
Well I hear that gives them quite the appetite!
LaverneOkay, Carmine, how much do you need?
Five thousand bucks.
Laverne[Flipping through the bible] Five thou-
[Laverne stops flipping the pages, closes the bible, and bows her head]
LaverneLet us pray.
No, no, you don't understand - I only need a wife for one night.
Get out.
No, no, no, it's for the money.
LaverneThen why don't you just call Ready Betty Wazaluski?
Both of you, get out of here!
LaverneWell, it could get hot in their kitchen.
Not if you don't take this it won't.
LaverneWe've got a date with a couple of veterinarians.
Never trust men who don't eat meat. There's something fishy about them.
LaverneAren't you gonna help me clean up this mess?
I can't...I'M TOO CRANKY
LaverneYou know that special feeling a guy gets for a girl?
Yeah... I got that for you.
[Reading his note to Laverne while he sits on her legs] Shut up, sit down, listen to me! It took me a long time to work out what I had to say so be quiet until i'm finished! You lied to me, you hurt my feelings, you got me punched out, and you got mustard on my best jacket!
LaverneIs that it?
Yeah! Unless you could think of something?
Laverne Get off my legs okay.
[Gets off of Laverne's legs and gives her the note] What do you think?
Laverne[Looks at the note] You spelled mustard wrong.
[Looks at the note with Laverne] Too many O's, huh?
Do you know whats playing down at the new view?
LaverneWhat?
Godzilla on Monster Island!
Laverne[Grabs Lenny's shirt] You wouldn't lie to me would ya Len?
In Toho scope!
Laverne[Laverne and Lenny getting up] Well what are we sitting here for? What are we sitting here for?
I don't know but come on let's move!
LaverneI love when that baby Godzilla goes mama mama mama.
Yeah and there's Gigan, and uh Rodan and ghidorah and I think Mothra makes a rare cameo appearance.
LaverneOh I loved that movie!
Yeah me too!
LaverneLord, I swear, I'll never do another bad thing if you just send me some help.
Hello!
LaverneOkay the deal's off!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Laverne & Shirley pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
