[Knuckles comes to, trapped inside his box. The room he is inside is shrouded in darkness, only faintly illuminated by his box's walls. He can barely notice the faint silhouette of elk antlers.]
Where have you taken me? A dungeon? A torture chamber? A pit so deep that no one will ever hear my screams? [Mason presses a remote, revealing Knuckles is actually inside a fancy, cozy foyer.] Oh. That's quite nice, actually.
Damn right. Always pictured myself living in a place like this one day. Now I don't know how to ski, but with a house like this, you bet I could learn.
[in his police cruiser outside the resort, to himself] All you have to do is sneak into the bad guys' lair, try not to get yourself killed by their superpowered weapons, and then save your cool new best friend. What could possibly go wrong? [takes a glance at Mason's stolen gauntlets] Come on, Wade. What would Knuckles do? [cut to Knuckles sitting inside the box, lost in thought] He'd come up with an awesome rescue plan.
Ah... I am visualizing my inevitable escape and your brutal destruction at my hands. [laughs maniacally] Yes! Your arms have just snapped off with the most satisfying crunch.
Well, it's a good thing you're trapped inside that case then, buddy.
[enters the foyer] Stop talking to him!
Fine with me. I'm gonna go relax. Job's done, and we about to get paid! [claps and leaves]
[in the box, his eyes closed] Oh, how your screams are a symphony to my ears as I crush your skulls into a fine powder and--
Sorry, don't mean to interrupt, but, uh, you almost finished here?
No! [realizes] Okay, now I am finished.
Do you know, I'm sorry we haven't gotten a chance to get to know each other yet. I'm actually quite an admirer of your work.
What could you possibly know about my life of battles and quests?
Oh... [stands up] I know all about you, Knuckles. Studying creatures like you, your abilities, where you're from. That was my job for a long time.
I see. Then, you know about my tribe's victory over the vile Dr. Robotnik!
So, if you know how I destroyed someone as dangerous as him, then you know how easily I can destroy someone like you.
Is that what you think? That I'm nothing? That I'm no one compared to the great Ivo Robotnik? Well, let me assure you, you're wrong. 'Cause while I know everything about you, I promise, you know nothing about me. But when this is all over... you will.
[Wade pulls up to the front door of the resort in his police cruiser and exits the car.]
All right. Geared up. Here we go. [places down his gear: the oil can, the wire, the hairspray, the floss, and the lighter, before donning Mason's gauntlets] Hang tight, Knucks. I'm comin' to get ya. All I need is the perfect rescue soundtrack. [gets his Spotify rescue playlist cued up on his phone] Let's do this, Spotify! Time to rock out! [attempts to hit the play button multiple times, but the gauntlets are too thick to register on his phone] That's not gonna... [tries again to hit play with his nose, but when he finally does, his playlist only plays the extremely ill-fitting "I Don't Want to Wait" by Paula Cole] Oh, no, not that song! Oh, forget it. Warrior mode activated. [slams his gauntlets together, accidentally releasing a burst of Chaos energy. It is so strong that it knocks him back, spills the contents of the oil can right on the fireworks inside the cruiser, knocks his sunglasses off his head as they crack to the ground, and causes the hairspray to blast the fire from the lighter right on his cruiser, igniting the fireworks as they go off.] The fireworks were supposed to be the grand finale!
[Willoughby and Mason are playing chess against each other when they hear the fireworks erupting outside.]
Sounds like someone just set off...
[The two agents leave the foyer, leaving Knuckles all alone and confused on what is going on. Willoughby and Mason head out onto the balcony and see Wade's fireworks still exploding.]
Is that the round little man again?
[The remaining fireworks finish exploding with Wade's cruiser relatively intact.]
Oh. At least she's still drivable.
[But Wade has spoken too soon because the cruiser erupts in flames.]
[looks up] That's right! I'm here for the echidna! [hears beeping from the left gauntlet gauntlets] What's that beeping? That can't be good. Wonder what that-- [presses a button and accidentally activates the right gauntlet's rocket boosters before being sent flying] Oh, no! [jerks to his right] Yah! Ay-ay-ay! [flies upwards] Oh, no! [floats downwards] Oh, my God! [jerks to his left] Wee-hee-hee-hee! [tries to regain control as the agents stare dumbfounded] I will be right with you guys! [accidentally flies straight in their direction] Oh, God! [crashes through the windows and hits the ground]
You guard the echidna. I'm gonna go and handle this. [leaves to fight Wade]
[Willoughby follows suit.]
[to Knuckles, armed with her blaster rifle] Who are you working with?
He is my protege and my apprentice. A force so strong of body, mind, and heart that your last words will be a plea for a merciful death, from the warrior known only as... Wade.
[Wade enters the room exhausted by his fight with Mason.]
Sorry. Sorry. Say, quite a tussle back there. You should see the other guy. [looks at a knocked-out Mason] Oh. Here he is.
Seriously? This is your great warrior? Thought he'd be dead by now.
[unamused] It's his first day.
I know I may not look like much of a warrior, but... no offense, you guys don't, either. I mean, he looks like a sexy menswear model, and you look like some kind of psychotic Uma Thurman lookalike.
Thank you. Now, before you die, tell me one thing. What does a moron like you want with the echidna?
We're gonna win a bowling tournament. [launches his left gauntlet on Knuckles' cage]
[in slow motion] Oh, no! [The gauntlet causes a huge explosion that destroys Knuckles' cage and almost half of the resort. Cut to a now free Knuckles as Wade hugs him awkwardly.] What. Are. You. Doing?
I'm hugging you, as is your celebratory tradition, is it not? [lets Knuckles go and they see the two agents knocked out] Come on, we gotta get outta here before they wake up.
[Wade and Knuckles look at the hole created by the explosion, which leads to a cliff.]
Whatever happens... hold on.
What?! What do you mean? [gets pushed off the cliff by Knuckles, who also jumps. Before they could crash, Knuckles raises his fists and begins gliding.] WE'RE ALIVE! KNUCKLES! [laughs joyfully] WE'RE ALIVE! OOOOOHH!!!! [They pass by the full Moon, E.T. style.] Knuckles! You didn't tell me you could fly!
For very short distances.
[Knuckles lands next to a dumpster in a parking lot, while Wade lands right inside it. Wade struggles himself to get out of the dumpster.]
[gags and coughs] It stinks! [falls on the ground, groans] Knuckles...
Get up! Now is no time to rest, Wade Whipple. We must flee!
[They both notice a black pickup truck being parked.]
[Knuckles and Wade get in the truck and close the doors behind them.]
How? I can't just drive us. There's no keys. [Knuckles haywires the vehicle with his fist, which causes it to start.] Okay, I can just drive us.
[Wade floors on the gas pedal, and they drive off.]
[The two agents come out from the destroyed resort, where Wade's cruiser is still on fire.]
[grunts in frustration] We are SO SCREWED!!
Yeah, I'm pissed, too. But what are we gonna do? I guess the deal's off.
No. No, you don't understand. The deal's not off. There's no backing out... with him. We've been selling weapons to one of the most dangerous criminal organizations in the world, run by an absolute sociopath! Now, we're screwing him over on a deal! [mockingly] "We don't just get to take our ball and go home". We show up empty-handed, he's gonna straight-up kill us! Most likely in a pretty horrible way.
Well, that doesn't sound great.
No! Not great! Not great at all. We need to get them, fast, before he gets us.
[Wade and Knuckles are sitting at a table at a Burger Shack after eating dinner.]
Wade Whipple, you wish to be a warrior. Yet you hail from Green Hills, a place where there are no warring clans. So, why do you remain there?
I guess... Green Hills has always just been home. I mean, there must be some place in the universe that's like that for you, right?
Since the loss of my tribe, I have journeyed across every corner of the galaxy. Seen planets and stars you could only dream of. But nowhere I have called home.
That must be tough for you.
Yes. I made a promise to my fellow warriors to find the Master Emerald and protect it. That shall be my goal until the moment I join my people in the Great Battleground in the Sky. One thing I have learned in pledging my life to this quest is that I have been betrayed again, and again. And again. And again.
Wow. I'm sorry that happened to you.
[feels bad] You know how that feels, don't you? To be betrayed?
Yeah. Yeah, I know how that feels.
By your father, who abandoned you like common gutter trash!
No, I got what you were saying. Thank you very much, though. [makes a promise] Warrior or not, I'm strong enough to know that I would never betray a friend.
You are stronger than you think, Wade Whipple.
On a scale of one to warrior, you are a three.
Really? I'm gonna put that on my dating profile. "Wade Whipple. Solid three". Now, come on. Let's hit the road, huh?
[On the road, Knuckles and Wade listen to "Rock You Like a Hurricane" by the Scorpions in the truck on the radio, aggressively headbanging and laughing. Wade drums the steering wheel.]
[Wade turns the volume up, until the music is interrupted.]
RARadio Announcer
The Rock Zone Special Report.
HRHost Reader
Alright, this just in, guys. Authorities have a manhunt out for a guy named Wade Whipple. You remember this guy? He was the sheriff's deputy who won the Hot Pocket-eating contest at last year's Spring Fest. That guy. There is a bounty out for the guy now. I mean, he is royally screwed.
RARadio Announcer
Screwed.
HRHost Reader
I would not want to be that guy today. Alright, let's get back to the music.
[This announcement leaves Wade and Knuckles shocked and devastated.]
Oh, my God. I'm a fugitive! There's a bounty on my head! And I'm Munsoned out here in the middle of nowhere? What are we gonna do? [Knuckles destroys the radio with his fist.] You just love smashing radios, don't ya?
[On the highway during sunrise, the truck passes through a mileage sign for Reno, which is 700 miles away. Wade has fallen asleep while driving.]
[suddenly awakens] Oh! Yes?
First light has broken. We need safe harbor. Somewhere we can stay hidden and secure.
[gets an idea] I know a place we could lay low, but it's gonna mean going somewhere I haven't been in a really long time.
