[The camera shows a top view of the woods, then cuts to Knuckles, who is running to the training field as "The Warrior" by Scandal plays. The field has a layout similar to what one would see in a classic Sonic game. Knuckles went past the Start sign and dodges several obstacles. He grabs a log and blocks several arrows from shooting him with it. He runs across a tightrope and throws the log away. Knuckles then picks up a boulder, and speeds past a wooden goal plate, showing a drawing of him smiling while raising his fist. The show logo fades in as Knuckles runs to the edge of the mountain, where he begins punching the boulder]
Yes, yes! [destroys the rock with his Chaos energy]
[the scene freezes]
[narrating] I know what you're thinking, "What type of maniac wakes up at dawn to punch boulders?". I'll tell you who - my good pal, Knuckles the Echidna. ["Our House" by Madness begins playing as the scene rewinds to a recap of the second film.] It all began on the Mushroom Planet, where old Knucks got tricked into helping the very evil and very filthy Dr. Mustache escape. He came to Earth in search of a magic emerald and picked a fight with moi, which went very badly for him, by the way. [The scene shows Sonic losing his fight with Knuckles at the Wachowskis' home.] Hey, wait a minute! This is the wrong footage! Why are we showing this?! [The scene speeds to the fight in the Labyrinth.] Eventually, we punched out our differences and teamed up to defeat Robotnik's giant robot, and recovered the Master Emerald, hence saving the universe. Hooray, and you're welcome. [Cut to Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles living together in the attic. Sonic is playing air guitar, Tails is working on some gadgets, and Knuckles is doing upside-down sit-ups.] And then, Knuckles, Tails, and I became friends and roommates! Now with all the hero stuff out of the way, Knuckles' only mission is to relax and enjoy Earth, which might be harder than it sounds.
[Knuckles has attacked and scared off the construction workers to fix the Wachowski house, much to Maddie's dissapointment. Sonic and Tails watch the workers drive off in their truck from the backyard]
Oh, boy. Poor guys. That's the fourth crew this month. But I have to say, Knuckles is in incredible shape. Do you think he's more cardio or weight-focused? Eh, doesn't matter, doesn't matter, he looks fantastic.
TTails
Do you think the house is ever going to get fixed? The living room's getting pretty cold at night with that giant hole in the wall.
MMaddie
[approaches Sonic and Tails] Boys, we need to talk about our little red barbarian friend. I could use some backup.
Knuckles is just having a little trouble adjusting to his new home. It wasn't easy for me to understand this planet first, either.
MMaddie
When did you start getting so wise?
I read a lot of cereal boxes. Also, I had a family who was patient enough to let me figure things out. We have to do the same with Knuckles. Let me talk to him when the time is right.
MMaddie
All right, Sonic. [looks up at the roof] But, in the meantime, do you mind asking him to get our dog off the roof?
[Knuckles is on the roof, holding a hockey stick and talking to Ozzy]
Concentrate, wolf. An attack can come from anywhere at any time. You must have steely focus. [Ozzy just stares, panting] Steelier. Steelier. Steelier! STEELIER! [Ozzy still doesn't listen, smacking his lips]
You know what? I think now is a good time for that talk.
MMaddie
Yeah, I think so, too.
[Sonic and Tails get on the roof with a ladder]
TTails
Come on, Ozzy! [makes kissing noises, getting the dog's attention] Yeah! Good boy.
[As Ozzy follows Tails off the roof, Sonic goes up to Knuckles]
Hey, big guy. Mind if I join ya? Man, this place is beautiful, huh?
What, really? You don't think Green Hills is a beautiful place to live?
[a brief pause]
Okay, okay, okay, okay. [puts his hand on Knuckles' shoulder] Really look around and tell me you don't think this is--
Okay, fine. We'll circle back to this later. It's time we had a talk. You know, hedgehog to echidna. [they both sit down] Listen, moving to a new world was tough for me at first, too. But trust me, this planet is special. It's your home now.
An Echidna warrior has no home. I only remain on Earth because I made a vow to you and the fox. One I intend to keep.
Hey, I respect that, but we won. Robotnik's gone, and there's no new battle to fight. No new quests to embark on. Which means, for the first time, you can take a break from being a warrior. And Earth is the perfect place to do that. So relax, get comfortable. Make yourself at home here.
Hmm... Perhaps you are right, hedgehog. Allow me to meditate on your words of wisdom.
Perfect! My work here is done. I'm gonna do... fun things. [leaves the roof]
[begins to meditate and does so all the while through the day and night, until his eyes pop open with a new epiphany] Yes. I shall make myself at home.
[starts praying] O wise Echidna elders, I seek your guidance in my hour of need. Please, send me a sign.
[Nothing happens. Giving a disappointed sigh, Knuckles turns away, not noticing the ghost of Chief Pachacamac manifesting himself on the beanbag reading a newspaper.]
PPachacamac
Are you kidding me? The Mets lost again?
AH! ASSASSIN!! [brandishes a rubber chicken, which deflates]
PPachacamac
Relax, Knuckles. [lowers the newspaper] It's me.
[gasps] Chief Pachacamac?
PPachacamac
It's good to see you, my boy. Now, put down the rubber chicken and give your old chief a-- [goes in for a hug, but phases through Knuckles because he is a ghost, and falls through the attic, screaming, crashing into several objects offscreen and disturbing Ozzy in the process, but phases back into the attic] Oh, right. [spookily] I'm a ghost...
Thank goodness you're here. I have completed my quest and found the Master Emerald. But with my work complete, what becomes of me?
PPachacamac
Knuckles, your quest is not complete. It's only begun! You are the last of the echidnas, and so the legacy of our people is in your hands.
PPachacamac
I want you to train an apprentice in the ways of the echidna. Teach him our customs, show him our traditions, and soon our tribe will grow once again.
But where will I found such a student?
PPachacamac
Right here. [shows Knuckles a newspaper article about Wade winning the Hot Pocket-eating contest]
Wade Whipple? I know this man. He's no great warrior.
PPachacamac
Neither were you when we first met. He may not look like much, but he's special... in here. [touches his chest] He seeks to compete in a Tournament of Champions, in a mystical place called... Reno, Nevada.
A Tournament of Champions? There is much glory to be found in such a contest!
PPachacamac
[starts rising up] Train him as a warrior! The fate of the echidna is in your-- [accidentally hits the window; Knuckles winces] Stupid window. [keeps hitting the window] How does this ghost stuff even work? [The window finally slides open.] Oh, there we go. [leaves for the heavens] Our fate is in your hands!
[Wade is in his room at home, inspecting himself in the mirror.]
[to himself] Alright, you baby-man. It's time to get ripped! [dons a training headband and gloves] You are strong enough! [lies underneath a dumbbell and tries to lift it, but it collapses on him] No, I'm not! I'm weak! Oh, I'm gonna die today! Oh, help me. Help! Help!
[Just then, Knuckles shows up and effortlessly lifts the dumbbell off of Wade.]
Wade Whipple, this is no time for lying down. [throws the dumbbell away] I come to you with an urgent need.
[sits up and turns around] How did you get in here?
A true warrior can conquer any stronghold. Not even the strongest barrier can contain his might.
Came in through the open window, huh?
[A beat.]
Yes. Yes, I did. You seek to compete in the upcoming Tournament of Champions in Reno, Nevada. I will take you there. This tournament is my destiny.
Yeah. It was mine, too. Until I lost my spot on the team.
How? You were bested by a sworn enemy in trial by combat?
I was brutally trash-talked by an eight-year-old girl named Susie. So, yes. Yeah. The same-- the same thing.
And you do not wish to reclaim your honor?
No, I--I do. I wish to reclaim my honor bad. It's just... Jack Sinclair was right. I'm... not strong, I'm not tough. I'm not a warrior.
But I am. I can train you in ways of the echidna. Teach you every form of lethal combat. Show you the secrets to all my strength.
Then I could use that to challenge Susie in a trial by bowling combat and earn my spot back on the team.
Yes. If you take me on this quest to Reno, I will make you a true warrior! As the great echidna Chief Pachacamac did for me.
Pachacamac. I think my sister went to sleepaway camp there.
Our destiny awaits, Wade Whipple. Do we have an alliance?
Wait a minute. [stands up] Didn't I hear you were grounded? There's no way you're allowed to leave home, right?
One cannot ground an Echidna warrior... [bends the dumbbell] For an Echidna warrior has no home.
All right, that checks out! Let's do this! Destiny awaits! [laughs]
[on the highway, Wade drives his police cruiser with Knuckles in shotgun, passing a mileage sign for Reno, which is 950 miles away]
All right! The warrior training road trip is officially official. Knucks. Can I call you "Knucks"?
Knuck, knuck. [a beat] Knuck, knuck. You gotta say, "Who's there?".
"Knuckolas Cage". [laughs]
So, tell me a little about yourself. You know, I-I know that you're an alien and that you're super powerful and that you've recently saved the world, et cetera, et cetera. But let's dig a little deeper, you know? You have any hobbies?
Honor is really more of a principle than a hobby.
Hmm... Maybe I should restate the question. What do you like to do for fun?
Gettin' a little dark. I was thinking more like reading, o-or yoga o-or music.
Yes. The hedgehog spoke of this Earth music. Tell me, what is it?
Oh, I-- [laughs] I can't just tell you what it is. I have to... I have to– I'll put on one of my classic Wade mixes. [plays "Can I Kick It?" by A Tribe Called Quest] Everyone at the station loves these. I send out a link every Monday. [starts singing along] ♪ Yes, you can! Can I kick it? Yes, you can! Can I kick it? Yes, you can! Can I kick it? Yes, you can! Can I kick it? Yes, you can! Can I kick it? ♪
[takes the lyrics quite literally and kicks the radio with his foot] Ha! Kicked!
