[Knuckles comes to, trapped inside his box. The room he is inside is shrouded in darkness, only faintly illuminated by his box's walls. He can barely notice the faint silhouette of elk antlers.]
Where have you taken me? A dungeon? A torture chamber? A pit so deep that no one will ever hear my screams? [Mason presses a remote, revealing Knuckles is actually inside a fancy, cozy foyer.] Oh. That's quite nice, actually.
Damn right. Always pictured myself living in a place like this one day. Now I don't know how to ski, but with a house like this, you bet I could learn.
[in his police cruiser outside the resort, to himself] All you have to do is sneak into the bad guys' lair, try not to get yourself killed by their superpowered weapons, and then save your cool new best friend. What could possibly go wrong? [takes a glance at Mason's stolen gauntlets] Come on, Wade. What would Knuckles do? [cut to Knuckles sitting inside the box, lost in thought] He'd come up with an awesome rescue plan.
Ah... I am visualizing my inevitable escape and your brutal destruction at my hands. [laughs maniacally] Yes! Your arms have just snapped off with the most satisfying crunch.
Well, it's a good thing you're trapped inside that case then, buddy.
Willoughby[enters the foyer] Stop talking to him!
Willoughby
Just stop talking.
Fine with me. I'm gonna go relax. Job's done, and we about to get paid! [claps and leaves]
Willoughby
Americans...
[in the box, his eyes closed] Oh, how your screams are a symphony to my ears as I crush your skulls into a fine powder and--
Willoughby
Sorry, don't mean to interrupt, but, uh, you almost finished here?
No! [realizes] Okay, now I am finished.
Willoughby
Do you know, I'm sorry we haven't gotten a chance to get to know each other yet. I'm actually quite an admirer of your work.
What could you possibly know about my life of battles and quests?
Willoughby
Oh... [stands up] I know all about you, Knuckles. Studying creatures like you, your abilities, where you're from. That was my job for a long time.
I see. Then, you know about my tribe's victory over the vile Dr. Robotnik!
Willoughby
Of course.
So, if you know how I destroyed someone as dangerous as him, then you know how easily I can destroy someone like you.
Willoughby
Is that what you think? That I'm nothing? That I'm no one compared to the great Ivo Robotnik? Well, let me assure you, you're wrong. 'Cause while I know everything about you, I promise, you know nothing about me. But when this is all over... you will.
[Wade pulls up to the front door of the resort in his police cruiser and exits the car.]
All right. Geared up. Here we go. [places down his gear: the oil can, the wire, the hairspray, the floss, and the lighter, before donning Mason's gauntlets] Hang tight, Knucks. I'm comin' to get ya. All I need is the perfect rescue soundtrack. [gets his Spotify rescue playlist cued up on his phone] Let's do this, Spotify! Time to rock out! [attempts to hit the play button multiple times, but the gauntlets are too thick to register on his phone] That's not gonna... [tries again to hit play with his nose, but when he finally does, his playlist only plays the extremely ill-fitting "I Don't Want to Wait" by Paula Cole] Oh, no, not that song! Oh, forget it. Warrior mode activated. [slams his gauntlets together, accidentally releasing a burst of Chaos energy. It is so strong that it knocks him back, spills the contents of the oil can right on the fireworks inside the cruiser, knocks his sunglasses off his head as they crack to the ground, and causes the hairspray to blast the fire from the lighter right on his cruiser, igniting the fireworks as they go off.] The fireworks were supposed to be the grand finale!
[Willoughby and Mason are playing chess against each other when they hear the fireworks erupting outside.]
Willoughby
What was that?
Sounds like someone just set off...
[The two agents leave the foyer, leaving Knuckles all alone and confused on what is going on. Willoughby and Mason head out onto the balcony and see Wade's fireworks still exploding.]
Willoughby
Is that the round little man again?
[The remaining fireworks finish exploding with Wade's cruiser relatively intact.]
Oh. At least she's still drivable.
[But Wade has spoken too soon because the cruiser erupts in flames.]
Willoughby
You again!
[looks up] That's right! I'm here for the echidna! [hears beeping from the left gauntlet gauntlets] What's that beeping? That can't be good. Wonder what that-- [presses a button and accidentally activates the right gauntlet's rocket boosters before being sent flying] Oh, no! [jerks to his right] Yah! Ay-ay-ay! [flies upwards] Oh, no! [floats downwards] Oh, my God! [jerks to his left] Wee-hee-hee-hee! [tries to regain control as the agents stare dumbfounded] I will be right with you guys! [accidentally flies straight in their direction] Oh, God! [crashes through the windows and hits the ground]
You guard the echidna. I'm gonna go and handle this. [leaves to fight Wade]
[Willoughby follows suit.]
Willoughby
[to Knuckles, armed with her blaster rifle] Who are you working with?
He is my protege and my apprentice. A force so strong of body, mind, and heart that your last words will be a plea for a merciful death, from the warrior known only as... Wade.
[Wade enters the room exhausted by his fight with Mason.]
Sorry. Sorry. Say, quite a tussle back there. You should see the other guy. [looks at a knocked-out Mason] Oh. Here he is.
Willoughby
Seriously? This is your great warrior? Thought he'd be dead by now.
[unamused] It's his first day.
I know I may not look like much of a warrior, but... no offense, you guys don't, either. I mean, he looks like a sexy menswear model, and you look like some kind of psychotic Uma Thurman lookalike.
Willoughby
Thank you. Now, before you die, tell me one thing. What does a moron like you want with the echidna?
We're gonna win a bowling tournament. [launches his left gauntlet on Knuckles' cage]
[in slow motion] Oh, no! [The gauntlet causes a huge explosion that destroys Knuckles' cage and almost half of the resort. Cut to a now free Knuckles as Wade hugs him awkwardly.] What. Are. You. Doing?
I'm hugging you, as is your celebratory tradition, is it not? [lets Knuckles go and they see the two agents knocked out] Come on, we gotta get outta here before they wake up.
[Wade and Knuckles look at the hole created by the explosion, which leads to a cliff.]
Whatever happens... hold on.
What?! What do you mean? [gets pushed off the cliff by Knuckles, who also jumps. Before they could crash, Knuckles raises his fists and begins gliding.] WE'RE ALIVE! KNUCKLES! [laughs joyfully] WE'RE ALIVE! OOOOOHH!!!! [They pass by the full Moon, E.T. style.] Knuckles! You didn't tell me you could fly!
For very short distances.
[Knuckles lands next to a dumpster in a parking lot, while Wade lands right inside it. Wade struggles himself to get out of the dumpster.]
[gags and coughs] It stinks! [falls on the ground, groans] Knuckles...
Get up! Now is no time to rest, Wade Whipple. We must flee!
[They both notice a black pickup truck being parked.]
[Knuckles and Wade get in the truck and close the doors behind them.]
How? I can't just drive us. There's no keys. [Knuckles haywires the vehicle with his fist, which causes it to start.] Okay, I can just drive us.
[Wade floors on the gas pedal, and they drive off.]
[The two agents come out from the destroyed resort, where Wade's cruiser is still on fire.]
Willoughby
[grunts in frustration] We are SO SCREWED!!
Yeah, I'm pissed, too. But what are we gonna do? I guess the deal's off.
Willoughby
No. No, you don't understand. The deal's not off. There's no backing out... with him. We've been selling weapons to one of the most dangerous criminal organizations in the world, run by an absolute sociopath! Now, we're screwing him over on a deal! [mockingly] "We don't just get to take our ball and go home". We show up empty-handed, he's gonna straight-up kill us! Most likely in a pretty horrible way.
Well, that doesn't sound great.
Willoughby
No! Not great! Not great at all. We need to get them, fast, before he gets us.
Knuckles · 22 quotes
