Escargoon quotes from Kirby: Right Back at Ya!

Chef Kawasaki

Look, Sire. It's raining calamari!

King Dedede

Great. I'm bankrupt and all I got is a lifetime supply of squid.

Escargoon

We're broke now! What do we do?

Chef Kawasaki

That's easy. We can use this squid to make sushi. Right?

Kirby loves his sushi.

He's happy.

Kirby

Poyo!

Escargoon

[screams] Look at that thing!

King Dedede

Looks kinda familiar!

King Dedede

[laughs] Escarsaurus sure is a dino wimp, I'd say.

Escargoon

Give him all you've got, Escarsaurus! Tackle that tub of lard!

King Dedede

You must be cleaning this castle with your eye-shut. It's filthy! [He blows the dust at Escargoon]

Escargoon

[coughing] I dust this dump every day! I can't be a full-time housekeeper and a full-time lackey.

King Dedede

Well, you better find a way you out of here.

Escargoon

But sire, I need this rotten job.

King Dedede

It's time for my massage.

King Dedede

Quit wimpin' out. Pull a little muscle into.

Escargoon

How's this?

King Dedede

LOUSY! This is how you give a massage!

Escargoon

[screaming as Dedede stretching his arms] Uncle! [thuds] That wasn't too relaxing.

King Dedede

Guess I'll have to pull harder next time. [laying down on a beach lounge chair] Fetch me a toothpick and my monster catalogue.

King Dedede

[Being serious] What you waiting for!?

Escargoon

Sorry, Sire. [He scurried]

King Dedede

My monster catalogue.

Escargoon

Ugh. I've forgot. [He scurried again]

King Dedede

Magnifying glasses.

Escargoon

Sorry, Sire. [He scurried once again] Here.

King Dedede

I want me a cup of tea.

Escargoon

[He scurried again once more] Yes, Sire.

King Dedede

Too cold.

Escargoon

Right. [He keep scurried]

King Dedede

Too hot.

Escargoon

[He scurried slowly, panting] The King's runnin' me ragged here! I wish he'd give me some time off to take a trip! [He tripped on a carpet as the cup of tea spilled on his head, screamed in pain] Hot tea! Hot tea! Hot tea! Hot tea!

King Dedede

Escargoon!

Escargoon

His Highness does care about me. Oh, Si..[Getting hitted by Dedede's mallet]

King Dedede

You spilled tea on my carpet!

Escargoon

But Sire, I'm bound to make mistakes when you overwork me and don't give me a break.

King Dedede

Well if you fooled up again I'll give you plenty of breaks from head to toe.

Escargoon

Hmph! You snail-driver! I'm tired of being harassed, tired of being insulted, and tired of being tired!

Escargoon

[warning Dedede] Just don't touch it!

King Dedede

I hate it when you tell me "Don't". That means I gotta do! [He hits Escargoon with his mallet] Let's see. [He presses the button of Escar-Droid]

King Dedede

What? A gorilla hammering folks on a head?

I heard that if you don't give 'im money or bananas, he gets real mad, and that's when he strikes.

Escargoon

He sounds like a bill collector which means he'll come here for the nine million we owe N.M.E..

King Dedede

So how much would nine million be if we pay him in bananas?

Escargoon

Huh? I don't know the exchange rate for fruit.

King Dedede

Well, ain't no bullying bill collector gonna knock on my royal noggin'! Throw that gorilla into whose gal!

Escargoon

Let's hope he doesn't make a chimpanzee out of you. [Getting hitted by Dedede's mallet]

King Dedede

Hey, Waddle Doo! Go and get that gorilla!

Let's move it!

King Dedede

Why, just last night I was working at my desk burning up the midnight oil!

Did... I just hear you say you were working?

King Dedede

Yep! I spent hours at my PC!

Escargoon

And he almost got it turned on, too! [laughs before getting hammered by Dedede]

King Dedede

[shows the N.M.E monster catalogue book page to the N.M.E Sales Guy] I want one of these transforming robot monsters!

Escargoon

Don't forget our frequent buyer discount!

I'd give you that discount if you weren't so frequently late with the blingy!

King Dedede

I have been a little slow to pay. I'll settle my bill when the economy picks up!

Escargoon

That's about as likely to happen as me picking you up.

King Dedede

SEND THAT ROBOT!

King Dedede

It's time for me to face the fact that I may need some education.

Escargoon

Education won't help you. The mind's only a terrible thing to waste if you have one.

King Dedede

I'm gonna go to school and get me some learnin' so's I can finally figure out a way to outsmart Kirby.

Escargoon

Kirby's tryin' to disrupt the class by saying "poyo" instead of "here"!

King Dedede

Teacher, you oughta give that pink pain detention!

Sir! If you made the flat part round, would that change the "D" into an "O"?

That's right! Good, Honey!

King Dedede

Ahh... she kissin' up big time!

[singing] Honey is the teacher's pet! Honey is the teacher's pet!

Alright, settle down now. Why don't we try solving some simple arithmetic problems?

King Dedede

Huh?! I ain't no good at math!

King Dedede

I'm givin' Kirby a good-bye gift!

Escargoon

Get your good-byes ready, kid. Your little friend is finished!

King Dedede

[seeing that Kirby has let the Mumbies get burned by the sun's rays] Kirby won!

Escargoon

And who's fault was that?

Holding Dyna Chick hostage is a dirty trick!

Yeah, can't even defend itself!

Dedede?

Escargoon

This is just terrible!

King Dedede

If Dyna Blade don't stop them crows, they gonna come after us next!

[as Dedede and Escargoon crying continues] You two started all this, when you all provided prove to your nature trash!

Escargoon

Listen, missy! Talking trash isn't gonna save Dream Land from those flying freaks!

King Dedede

Yeah, we want to stop them crummy crows too!

Escargoon

[sneezes] Somethin' around here's got my allergies acting up.

King Dedede

[laughs] Just don't sneeze on the grill! I'm cookin' top shell! [he take a mouthful of topshell and he chewing] Maaaan! Is that ever hot! But tasty. Here, you wanna try one?

Escargoon

Not if they taste like they smell.

King Dedede

Not even one?

Escargoon

I don't like shellfish.

King Dedede

Bet you never tasted ones like these here. Come on!

Escargoon

Eugh... No! [exclaims]

King Dedede

Guess that just means more top shells for me! [some empty topshells fell on a ground after he ate them all] Boy, oh, boy, that does a belly good!

King Dedede

An empty shell. Get outta that shell right now!