What is your problem, this morning?
I lost my kitty mug and I got this fuckin' stupid shitty mug with f-f-friggin' flowers on it. It doesn't fit my hand right.
S5 E5First Guy to Touch the Ground Loses
Do you know why you took my kitty mug?
I DIDN'T TAKE IT!
Because you couldn't find any kitties to rape.
We're best friends.
We are so not best friends.
Don't let him in if he's crazy.
ZZeus
I just couldn't believe you licked a chick's ass.
You got nice pecs.
ZZeus
Thank-you very much.
MY BALLS ARE achin', my legs are shakin', I wish I was Jamaican.
Hi. You going in your sex chair?
IT'S NOT A SEX CHAIR!
Well how do you have sex on this?
Ask your dad I dunno.
...and I'm hangin' here in a sex chair...
Ryan needs an orthodontist.
[After recently purchasing a bag of crabs with the intention of throwing them at Spenny] 'Tis hot out today. I have a feeling he's in a "crabby" mood.
The air is "electric", isn't it, Mr. Rice?
I have an "eeling" you guys will be "shockingly" friends.
What is that, Ryan?
Fuckin' bread.
He has asked me to offer you a riddle.
Whatever.
Fiddle-dee fiddle-dee-dee Mr. Rice. Name a fish with no legs that can...-is electric, and swims around under your feet!
That's a tough one.
What is it!?
It's an eel!
[Pause] You won again Mr. Rice! You've won again! [Kenny's Segway proceeds to go haywire and, consequently, Kenny falls off of it onto the floor, thus losing.]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Kenny vs. Spenny pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.