Mikey Simon quotes from Kappa Mikey, page 4 ... TV Quotes Database

Mikey

Now we've got copies of all your files and all your poems. [clearing throat] 'The lonely man in the mailbox' by Agent F.

FAgent F

Stop! That's private!

S1 E25 La Femme Mitsuki

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Mitsuki

This Oni mask is our most precious artifact, it's over 6,000 years old.

Gonard

It has a very special purpose.

[Lily pulls down on one of the mask's horns, a drink dispenses from the mask's nostrils]

Mikey

Woah!

S1 E26 The Oni Express

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[Mikey puts farting powder on Gonard's ice cream, pretending it is sprinkles]

Mitsuki

Ooooh! Mint chip, my favorite!

Mikey

Actually, this is really for Gonard.

Mitsuki

One bite couldn't hurt.

Mikey

Come on Mitsuki. Do you really need the carbs?

Mitsuki

I'll take my chances. [tastes the ice cream] Mmmmm!

SSpeakerphone

Places everyone. Broadcasting is in less than one minute.

Mikey

Uh oh.

S2 E23 Live LilyMu

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[Mikey, Mitsuki, and Lily on the LilyMu airship]

Lily

He's going to use Guano's crystal to power the super missile.

Mikey

Not if I can help it. [talk to Mitsuki] Mitsuki, Aim the blaster!

Mitsuki

Nuh-uh.

[Lily shocked]

Lily

Guys! [angrily] Guano's in trouble.

Mikey

Lily, quick. Ask Mitsuki to aim the blaster.

Lily

Oh brother. [Ask to Mitsuki] Mitsuki, Aim your blaster!

Mitsuki

[talk to Lily] Lily, Tell Mikey I'll aim my blaster just as soon as he stop being such a MEGA JERK.

[Cut to audience jeering]

JJomar

That was TERRIBLE!

CVClaude Von Fabio

I can't even look.

[The squid covers the eyes; Cut to Mikey, Mitsuki, and Lily on the LilyMu airship]

Lily

[chuckles; talk to Mikey] Mikey, Stop being such a “mega jerk” and Mitsuki will aim the blaster.

[Cut to audience jeering again]

DDadzuki

You called that ‘acting’?

[Cut to Mikey, Mitsuki, and Lily on the LilyMu airship]

Mikey

Lily, Tell Mitsuki that's who she gonna be, I don’t even want her to AIM the blaster!

[Lily facepalm]

Mitsuki

Tell Mikey, FINE!

Mikey

Tell Mitsuki, see if i can.

[Cut to Yes Man and Guano in Gonard's truck]

YMYes Man

Stop fighting! You're makes Yes Man's...[sadly] sad.

Guano

[angrily] Guano! Guano!

[Cut to Mikey, Mitsuki, and Lily on the LilyMu airship]

Lily

[angrily] Yeah, guys. CUT IT OUT!

Mikey

Nuh-uh.

Mitsuki

Nope.

Lily

Then I'M OUT OF HERE!!!!

[Lily leaves the stage in the studio]

S2 E23 Live LilyMu

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Mikey

Mitsuki, help!

DDadzuki

I'm coming Mikey!

Mikey

Wow, [Dadzuki lifts him up] you're hands are strong and hairy. Thanks, Mitsuki, you're a lifesaver.

DDadzuki

Not so fast! You see, I'm not Mitsuki at all.

Mikey

Huh?

GLGonard, Lily, and Guano

Huh?

DDadzuki

Yes, it is I Dadzuki, the father of Mitsuki.

[Mikey, Gonard, Guano, and Lily gasps]

S2 E24 Mitsuki Butterfly

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Lily

It's finished, Mikey. Forked over.

Ozu

Sorry. The shoes must go.

Mikey

G-G-G-Guano, Gonard, Mitsuki! Y-Y-You got my back, right?

Guano

What gonna I do, Mikey? [whispers] Ozu waits is watching it.

Mikey

WHAT?? Guano, you're just...a coward! [Guano feels sad] And Gonard, you got...cold cuts for brains!

Gonard

[happily] Why thank you.

Mikey

And YOU!...Whatever your name is. Thanks for nothing! [Mitsuki crying]

Ozu

Mikey, you're overreacting.

YMYes Man

How do you know, bomb-brain?

Mikey

I showed you overreacting. I quitting the show and leaving you guys FOREVER! [All gasps] Who needs a bunch of close friends when you've got a pair of old sneakers? [Mikey leaving apartment]

Mitsuki

But Mikey. The storm!

S2 E26 The Wizard of Ozu

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Mikey Simon quotes from Kappa Mikey

Scenes with Mikey Simon 47

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