Lex Luthor quotes from Justice League Unlimited

Lex Luthor

You're the human lockpick. Why don't you do this?

Grodd's not testing me.

Company's coming.

Chuck Sirianni

Whoever you guys are, you've got no business being in here.

Sorta goes with the territory — we're thieves.

Now why is it you always find the keys in the last place you look?

Lex Luthor

Let them go. They're pathetic, but they're with me.

Chuck Sirianni

[to the Leaguers] I'm sorry. If I were 20 years younger...

Lex Luthor

You'd still be ancient. Keep quiet!

Island self-destruct sequence initiated. Three minutes to detonation.

Lex Luthor

Chew on that for a while. We're leaving. If you follow, you know what happens to him. What did you do? Don't bother. We got what we came for.

Forget it. There's still time for me to run us out to the water.

Shayera Hol

No. I'm not going to let all this history be lost. I can't crack the code, but maybe if I...

Chuck Sirianni

You better let me do that.

Self-destruct sequence canceled.

Chuck Sirianni

Can't fix everything by hitting it.

What was in there?

Gorilla Grodd

The Spear of Longinus. Hitler believed that whoever holds it is invincible.

Lex Luthor

What are you going to do with it? Sell it to the highest bidder? Keep it yourself and try to conquer the world?

Gorilla Grodd

I was thinking it would look good on the wall in my office.

Lex Luthor

You mean you recruited me, sent me to an island full of death traps, and up against the Justice League. You made me risk my life, and all for nothing?!?

Gorilla Grodd

Essentially... yes.

Lex Luthor

[laughs] Monkey, I like your style.

Lex Luthor

I should kill you!

Gorilla Grodd

But you won't.

Lex Luthor

No. Not today.

Luthor sure didn't waste any time rounding up a crew. Who were those guys?

Dr. Polaris and The Key? I don't know. They've never worked with Luthor before.

All I know is Superman's going to be pretty ticked that we let Luthor get away just to keep some musty old museum from being destroyed.

It was worth it.

Superman

Is everything okay?

Wonder Woman

Well, I’m sort of missing Flash’s obligatory joke about how Grodd made a monkey out of us.

Superman

Just couldn’t let it go unsaid.

Wonder Woman

Obligatory.

That's it, guys. Yuk it up. You saved the world, but I failed. Everyone in Nanda Parbat is gone-- forever.

We're in your debt again, Justice League.

Superman

If only Luthor and Grodd hadn't gotten away.

If it's any consolation, we've picked up nearly a dozen of his super-powered cronies-- with more to come, I'm sure.

No. I didn't mean.

Superman

Bruce, Deadman took over your body. It wasn't your fault.

Let me explain. He would have shot her. I didn't have a choice.

Boston Brand, your actions have led to the death of another.

I'm sorry. I-- I didn't mean to--

Intentions are immaterial. You were gifted with power to be used to balance the scales of karma. Because of your actions, the scale now is unbalanced.

Unbalanced? Thanks to Devil Ray and his team, the master and all the other monks are dead.

Incorrect. When the heart was shattered, the essences of the monks were set free. Even now their souls return to their rightful places.

No one dies in Nanda Parbat. But the scales are unbalanced. Your work in this world is not yet done.

Lex Luthor

Since there's only one monkey left around here, I'm assuming that the Justice League found a way to stop the carrier wave.

Gorilla Grodd

There's more than one way to peel a banana. Next time--

Lex Luthor

I wasn't going to do this for another couple of weeks, but seriously... [rises from table and draws a gun] Turning all of humanity into apes? [aims weapon at Grodd] That was your master plan?! [Shoots Grodd, then turns to the other villains] Listen up! From now on, I'm in charge of this operation. Anybody got a problem with that?

Tala

No problem at all... baby.

Luthor

Brainiac. You’re in there-- I can almost feel you. [to rock] Abasing myself before Grodd, then running this unwieldy super-gang—it’s all been worth it if I can just free the only piece of you that remains.

Tala

[gently] Lex... Don’t talk to the rock.

Luthor

Stay out of this, witch. It makes no sense. The smallest scrap of Brainiac should be sufficient to reconstitute him.

Tala

Don’t worry, darling. I’m sure it...

Luthor

Unless Grodd is somehow preventing it.

Grodd

What do you want, Luthor?

Luthor

How do I unlock the Brainiac code?

Grodd

You’re a genius; figure it out.

Luthor

Tell me, you leering, manipulative knuckle-dragger, or I'll...

Grodd

Lex, Lex... you can’t expect me to give up my only bargaining chip. What’s in it for me?

Luthor

[enraged] When this is over, I’m going to sell your body for dogmeat!

Grodd

It must pain you to see me like this, after what we’ve been to one another.

Tala

My taste in boyfriends has evolved. Wait, Lex! You’re the leader now. You don’t need to lock horns with him.

Luthor

Don’t bore me with politics. The only thing that matters now is a speck of information locked somewhere deep inside Grodd’s thick skull.

Tala

Yes, okay. So we break his head open and take it. Hey, watch it!

Luthor.

Luthor

I don’t have time to chat, Dr. Polaris.

Well, make time. We don’t think you’ve got what it takes to run the show. You’ve been acting unbalanced, holed up in that lab, talking to yourself...

After Grodd tried to turn the world into apes, you can imagine how seriously we’d take something like that. What are you going to do, make everybody bald?

Maybe you’re not up to the job. Maybe it’s time for younger, smarter, more aggressive leadership.

Luthor

Really.

Yeah. Why should any of us follow you?

Luthor

Because I’ll show you how to make more money in one day than you’ve made in your entire lives.

Roulette

Lex, darling. I'm having some serious financial problems, and I'm afraid you're to blame.

Lex Luthor

Well, don't look at me to bail you out, Roulette. I'm the one who skims you!

Tala

Trapped like a rat. It's very weird. You have never had so much fun when we were together. [Tala fires a magic spell at Luthor, but it bounces back and knocks her unconscious. He pulls an amulet from under his shirt]

Lex Luthor

You wouldn't believe what this cost me.

Around the world-- [wipes Frost's ice construct with his Yo-yo, knocking her in the ground] Rock the crater-- [Frost creates an ice wall to protect herself, but Toyman uses his yo-yo to break it through and knock her unconscious] Sleeper.

Grodd

Give up, Lex! You're only delaying the inevitable.

Lex Luthor

You're right.

Grodd

[shoots a blast of his gun at Luthor, who deflects with his gloves] If it's all the same to you, I'd rather snap your neck with my bare hands. [Luthor tries to attack him, but Grodd counters and singlehandedly beats him up again and again] You know, this mutiny was easy. The Secret Society hates you.

Lex Luthor

Like they love you! [runs towards Grodd, who knocks him away with a kick] Idiotic simian. Half-baked objectivist.

Grodd

[grabs Luthor] You're ill-equipped to lead, Lex.

Lex Luthor

[choking] A lower primate masquerading as an intellectual.

Grodd

I'm the more accomplished, both physically and mentally. [uses telepathy on Luthor, who overrides it with his power-belt and puts Grodd under his control]

Lex Luthor

Took you long enough. I was beginning to think I'd figured you wrong. Now bow down to me. [Grodd struggles not to, but does so] Who is master here?

Grodd

[weakly] You... are...

Lex Luthor

Get up. [Grodd obeys] Take six steps forward. [Grodd does so and opens the door in front of him] Get in. [Grodd does so again and Luthor closes the door and deactivates his power-belt]

Grodd

[trying to break through the door in anger] I should have let you rot in jail!

Lex Luthor

Goodbye, Grodd. It could have gone the other way.

Grodd

It really could have, couldn't it?

Lex Luthor

No... But why speak ill of the dead? [punches a button and opens airlock]

Grodd

You twisted little pink rat-hole of a hominid, I'm not done with you! I'll get out of this, and when I do...!

Superman

Let's say, just for the sake of argument, that I believe a single word of your story. How did you survive the explosion?

Lex Luthor

By the skin of my teeth. But stranded more than a power ring's charge from home, we found ourselves dependent on the kindness of strangers. A resident of the nearby planet, New Genesis, drawn by our ship's explosion, offered his help. We accepted, of course.

Superman

You've got some nerve coming to us for help.

Lex Luthor

Darkseid took Brainiac away from me. I can't hear his voice in my head anymore!

Giganta

Enough of the crazy talk, Lex. Darkseid said he was coming to Earth to destroy it. You guys are supposed to keep that from happening.

Green Lantern

We'll do just that, lady. Thanks for the heads up.

Atomic Skull

And what about us?

Wonder Woman

You're all going into holding cells.

Atomic Skull

You think so? Ain't no way we're giving up without a...

Watchtower to Metro Tower. We've got a situation.

Superman

What's going on up there?

Multiple hyperspatial incursions. But they're planetside. I'm sending telemetry.

Boom tubes.

Superman

He's right. Can you hear it? Like thunder.

Attention all Justice League personnel, this is an omega-level threat.

Get to the Javelins.

Shayera-Hol

No time. All members prepare for emergency teleport. Send us first. Give the others a chance to get their pants on.

You got it.

Superman

Okay, let's get these people locked up. Sounds like we've got a fight on our hands.

Giganta

If you think you're locking us up while the whole world's under attack, you've got two fights on your hands.

She's got a point. We'll need all the bodies we can throw at this.

Superman

Oh, come on! It's Lex flippin' Luthor! Why should we trust him?!

Atomic Skull

Hey, it's our world too!

Lex Luthor

Let's be clear about this. We're not here to help you save the world. You're here to help me get revenge on Darkseid. When this is over, it's back to business as usual.

Superman

[glares at Lex] Wouldn't have it any other way.

Lex Luthor

Was there a plan here?

Take out the small fries until we attract the big fish's attention.

Lex Luthor

Ha! With everything going on, I bet he never notices us!

You're on.

Superman

I'll take some of that action.

Lex Luthor

You destroyed Brainiac! I'm gonna make you pay!

Darkseid

Unlikely. [blows Luthor away]

Darkseid

Don't leave us yet, Kal-El. I want you to see your adopted homeworld bow down before me. Only then will I allow you death's sweet release. Agh! Parademons. Dispose of these annoyances.

Superman

'Scuse me.

Darkseid

Flea. [Batman dodges Darkseid's Omega Beam and it hits a Parademon] Impressive. No one has ever avoided my Omega Beam. I wonder if the other one is as agile. [Powers up his Omega Beams; Lex Luthor runs away] Excellent strategy.

Superman

Luthor!

Darkseid

You friends have abandoned you, or fallen before my might. Super or otherwise, you're merely a man. And I, am a god. You still try to fight. Can't you see that it's hopeless?

Superman

That man won't quit as long as he can still draw a breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. I feel like I live in a world made of, cardboard. Always taking constant care not to break something, to break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control. Even for a moment, or someone could die. But you can take it, can't you, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose. And show you just how powerful I really am. Had enough?

Darkseid

Not quite yet. It's called the Agony Matrix. Direct neural stimulation of pain receptors. All of them. Imagine the worst pain you've ever felt in your life. Times a thousand. Now imagine that pain continuing. Forever. Oh, that's right. You don't have to imagine. Still alive? You impress me, Kryptonian. More... Your valor has touched my heart. Oh yes. There is still some small part of me that knows mercy. I will end your pain... with something special I've been saving for just this occasion. [Darkseid draws a Kryptonite knife] I'm going to carve out your heart and put it on a pike in my throne room.

Lex Luthor

As much as I'd enjoy seeing that, first you've got some business with me. Sorry it took me so long. I had to go get my power-suit.

Darkseid

You would dare challenge me? Insanity!

Lex Luthor

Oh, I'm not here to challenge you, Darkseid. Quite the contrary. I've got something you want. The only thing you want.

Darkseid

[astonished] The Anti-Life Equation!

Lex Luthor

My gift to you.

Superman

Lex, don't!

It's too late.

Darkseid

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Lex Luthor

Yes, yes it is.