In the desperate hope that you two have some kind of secret language you can't speak in front of women, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get a cup of coffee.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
How was the movie?
It was good...Not bad...It sucked.
Your little friend enjoyed it?
She fell asleep.
Probably malnutrition.
Men look in the mirror as much as we do, but they always think they look great.
I hate all of my clothes
She spent yesterday with Chanelle.
Great. We're just a couple of hookers short of Atlantic City.
I know this bulletin board is everyone's idea of a good time, but some of us actually use it for work. So you can consider this the end of the largest dead cockroach of the week contest. Would you kindly flush the contestants?
KKimberly
Do you have like no sense of humor?
That's correct. I'm a human fun-sucking vacuum.
Busy?
Very.
Good, walk with me, talk with me, I've been thinking.
Gee, I already don't like it.
I think it's about time we made a few headlines of our own. Flashy headlines.
A regular diet of infanticide and sexual abuse is too low key for your taste?
I am in the middle of being alone so you can help me by leaving.
Are you mad at me?
Not yet.
Grandma, look. Your boyfriend's in the paper.
Lauren, women my age don't have boyfriends. We have suitors and my ex-suitor is in China doing whatever the Mandarin term is for gallavanting.
She's right. Here he is.
Maxine (reads): "International business man Jared Duff spends a light moment with hostess and chairwoman Abigail von Facelift Nosejob." Recycle that. (thrusts newspaper back to Amy)
I'll shred it first.
You'd better.
I want to thank you, Sean. Your heart was in the right place.
The same thing can be said about my ass.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, Mahatmas Gandhi or Dr. Phil?
Amy (to Maxine): You were out late last night. Where'd you go?
An opium den.
Because I have a hate-hate relationship with my computer. Robert, I am not asking, I am telling. Surely you know the difference by now.
[to Maxine] How can I sleep when you're having the loudest nervous breakdown in history?
(to Amy) You want to know what your trouble is? It's always the same thing. It's why you got married when you knew it was a mistake, and it's why you slept with Lauren's karate teacher and God knows who else. You are afraid to be alone. You are. You get married 5 minutes after you graduated law school, and when you divorced Michael, you moved in here 5 minutes after that. And all of this hovering and scolding and policing and signing me up to walk with the New Age Hypochondriacs from Hell, is just another version of you being afraid to be alone. You're stuck to me like pine sap because you're afraid your Mommy's gonna die. You worry about my stress levels when the truth is half the stress in my life comes from you!
I think I should move out.
I do too.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Judging Amy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.