There's something scary going on in my town. If Morioh City is in danger, that means my parents, my sister, and everyone else important to me will have to face that danger. So even if it's scary, I gotta do something!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[A high school girl, mistaking Surface's imitation for the real Josuke, hands it a love letter.]
Why the hell did you accept that? Rip this stupid thing up!
[Hazamada rips up the letter.]
Damn it... What the hell is the difference between you and me?
SSurface
Why does that even matter?
Wha...
SSurface
You don't have time to waste, do you?
Who the hell do you think you're talking to?!
[Hazamada punches Surface in the face, accompanied with a dull thunk. He ends up with a wound on his hand.]
Ow!
SSurface
You scraped your hand? That was dumb. I'm made of wood, remember?
[Hazamada attacks his Stand once more, this time with his bag.]
Shut up! Get away from me!
[Hazamada, thinking back on other times he used his Stand to replicate other people.]
The other day, I had it copy my crush, Junko, so I could have my way with her, but I got pissed off because it kept doing things to piss me off, so I never even got anywhere. Doesn't anyone in this world have a decent personality? Damn it!
Stand users, for some reason, seem to be unknowingly drawn to each other,
Wh... What should I do... To make Yukako think that I'm bad for her?
Well, most girls aren't into bad hygiene or momma's boys.
I-I don't want her to think I'm a momma's boy! She might get mad at my mom and put her in danger!
Then it's a bad hygiene for you! Starting today, don't take baths!
Huh?
Yeah, and don't brush your teeth or change your underwear.
How about getting some lice or spiders in your hair?
Having smelly socks is pretty bad.
Maybe you should fart all the time too!
Oh yes, she'll totally hate that!
Koichi, you... don't seem to be very well-liked by your friends. But don't worry... I'm here with you...! From now on, I'll stay by your side and make you into a "real man"! That's why I'm here to take you away!
B... yeah?
AHHH! Correct! I'm glad! See, you do know this! And here it is, your boiled egg! Here, I'll take the shell off for you... Do you want some salt with it?
(Phew... she seems to be in a good mood now! Now if only she'll let her guard down so I can leave...)
By the way, if you had chosen 'A', I would have made you eat this eraser!
HUH?!
Box C had a bar of soap.
For the love of God, drop the meat!
TTonio
Wash your disgusting hands with soap this instant! Honestly, entering a kitchen without permission is inexcusable! Ascolti. Cleanliness in the kitchen is priority one, amico mio!
AAkira
I'm ready for round 2 with Crazy Diamond, but I'll only use my little pinky... just like I did with Okuyasu!
If you're planning to use only your pinky in this showdown, then I've got a couple of rules of my own.
AAkira
You can take your rules and shove 'em, fool! Rules are wasted on a punk kid like you!
AAkira
AAAAAAAAAAAGH! YOU DAMN BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU?!
Well, you did say that rules are wasted on me. You also said something about bringing me down with your pinky finger. So what's the wannabe rocker Otoishi gonna do now?
AAkira
I'll kill you.
YOU ALREADY SAID THAT! Don't you have any new material, fool?!
[feeling the baby] Josuke... this is a girl.
Yeah, you can tell if it's a boy or a girl by feeling between the legs.
[Both laugh. Beat, then Josuke chases Joseph with his stick]
[the baby falls into a pond and Josuke can't see her]
[cuts his hand] Josuke... if this kills me, please give my regards to your mother. I am quite old, after all.
What the hell are you doing?
Adding color to the water so that we can trace the baby.
[It works, and the baby is found]
Why would he do this for a baby, for someone he doesn't even know?
I just wanted to look cool, in front of my boy.
[Josuke smiles at his father, and helps him up]
What the hell... did you say... HUH?!?!?!?!
Just take it easy, Josuke!
I dare you to insult my hair again!!!!!!!
If you insist. Fine, here goes. You might think your hair looks cool, but in actuality it may be the shittiest hairstyle I've ever had the misfortune of laying eyes upon! Though to be fair, that nest atop your useless noggin may come in handy should a pigeon come by and decide to roost. But that's a very strong "may".
(Okuyasu and koichi scream in terror)
CDCrazy Diamond
DORARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARA!!!!!
Now witness Heaven's Door! I win. (it backfires on him)
How the...?!
CDCrazy Diamond
DORARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARARA!!!!!
How is this happening?! I'm certain his eyes were open and he got a full flash of the manuscript! So why hasn't my Stand ability taken the fact?!
We're back to normal!
You're right!
I know I showed him the page... So why?
Where the hell did you slither off to?! Get out of here, you punk bitch!!!!!
Hey, I don't think he can see straight right now...
Come on out, you manga-obsessed asshole! I've got a story for you!
Whoever insults my hair will get the full brunt of my fury! I WON'T STAND FOR THAT BULLSHIT!
THERE YOU ARE, MANGA ARTIST!!!!! LAST I CHECKED, I WAS NOT DONE PUNCHING YOU!!!!!!!!!
(Rohan screams in fear)
His determination is pretty commendable, too...
It's you, Josuke...
"Josuke?!" Sounds to me like you're forgetting something!
(After Shigechi summons Harvest to find his sandwich bag) Damn, you are so annoying! Fine, search the room! I want you to! Search until you pass out! Go for it!
For the last time, why would we steal a stupid sandwich?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's JoJo's Bizarre Adventure pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.