JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Season 1 quotes

"Disasters in the bathroom" is Polnareff's department!

If that's how you're going to be, then it's your loss, young lady.

What?! Sh-Shit...!

Weren't you listening to us earlier? You've been caught between us the whole time! Magnets are attracted to each other, you know! It's too late to do anything about it now! By getting between us is your biggest blunder!

There's no way she can hear you, Mr. Joestar. She's already lost consciousness. And all the magnetic forces crushed her and it's very likely that she snapped more than a few bones in the process.

Alright, where do we get that breakfast are we talking about?

Yes, a wonderful idea. All this running around has made me rather honery.

Is it really only 9 AM?

Damn you...piece of shit...

Attaboy!

(decking Alessi) Good grief. Don't underestimate me because I'm a kid.

What?! You're seriously telling me that Jotaro could kick ass, even as a little kid...?!

ATTABOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stand: Set, God of Chaos and Storms. Alessi: 38-years-old, single, and an unfortunate projectile. OUT OF COMMINSON!

I thought I laid it out plainly. If you don’t like gambling, then say so.

Oh, all right. What I'm asking is if you and your friends would like to play a little game.

[after Jotaro receives a blue drink] Ah! You're kidding me!? You got a drink, too!? When did you have a chance to- You bastard! How dare you make fun of me! Let's finish this! My hand is unbeata-

Jotaro

Hold it. Why're you jumping the gun when I haven't raised the pot yet?

R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-Raise the pot?! No! You don't have anything to raise it with!

Jotaro

That’s where you’re wrong. I’ll raise you with my mother’s soul.

WHAT?!?!?!

Are you out of your mind?! Jotaro, why would you bet your mother's soul?!

Jotaro

The entire reason I came to Egypt in the first place is to save my mother, so if I wager her soul, she won't mind. But, D'Arby, you'll have to match my mother's soul. I know... If you lose, I want you to tell me the secret of DIO's Stand!

Jotaro

Come on! Are you gonna call my bluff or fold?! Decision time! Spit it out already! D’ARBY!!!!!!!!

Call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call... Ca- Ca- Ca- Ca- I CAN'T DO IT! I'M PETRIFIED! I'M TOO TERRIFIED TO SAY THE WORD!

Come on, everyone! Let's play a game of mahjong! Backgammon's fun, too! How about a game of dice, even though I don't have any!

Daniel J. D'Arby of the Osiris Stand. Status: Retired.

Hol Horse

Listen, Boingo, I am proud to say that I'm a gentleman and a proper gentleman at that. 'Cause of that, I got girls all over the world. I might tell a white lie now and again, but I'd never haul off and hit one. I respect all the ladies, the beauties, the plain ones, and even the ugly ones. There's no way your prediction will ever come to pass! Come hell or high water, I swear I will never hit a woman! She could pay me every dime, nickel, and quarter she had. I still wouldn't put my hands on her!

It's 100% true, yes.

Shut your mouth!

You mean-

Hol Horse

(furious) Damn it, Polnareff! You lowdown, dirty son of a... You were cluing 'em in! You’ve pissed me off for the last time! I've just about had enough of you! Now, die!

What's he doing here?!

Hol Horse

Why? You idiot, you had to sneeze?

Everyone, watch out! Hol Horse is back, and he's got a friend hiding under the crate, so be careful!

If people could change that easily, life wouldn't be so hard! So as fate would have it, Boingo joined Hol Horse in the hospital, only now he was meeker than ever before. Ba-dum-tss!

W-What the hell was that? Who does this guy think he is, Bruce Lee? Hey, can't you hear!? I said I'll stay away from your boss's mansion! Let's stop this, okay?

It-It can't be! I accidentally released his soul from the doll!

Jotaro

Your soul admitted defeat and it's game over.

Before I forget... what to do with you, you button-mashing jerk?

Oh, shit! Please, mercy, I beg you! I've already given you back Kakyoin's soul, haven't I? It's like they say, no harm, no foul! We're good... right? Right? Right?

Jotaro

You want to know whether I'll forgive you, why don't you just do what you do best and read my mind?

Jotaro

Answer this. Will I hit you with my right fist or decide to deck you with my left? I'd love to know.

Well, since you're asking, you'll use... your right one?

Then... your left?

You're... not gonna use both, are you?

Are you going to do the "Ora Ora" thing?!

*annoyed* YES! YES! YES! OH MY GOD...!

ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!

Terrence T. D'Arby: Out of Commission!