MMike "The Situation"
Angelina was like a half-ass firecracker. It just fizzled out real quick and made a loud noise.
S1 E3Good Riddance
S1 E4Fade to Black
When I go into the club I have a game plan, I don't wanna waste my time and take home a girl that just wants to hang out, I just wanna get to the business...so. You light it up and then you move on and at the end of the night, you see who you end up with.
[about Snooki] This little shrimp thing is like bopping all around, on the circle and like doing her thing, doing backwards flips with her thong hanging out; her whole crotch is in the air.
Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle if it had a pulse at this point. Seriously, he would.
Yes, I had sex, like hello, you're gonna have sex if you're into somebody. It's natural.
S1 E5Just Another Day at the Shore
[what he would do if he was J-Woww's boyfriend] I would give her dick in bubblegum. I would send her a picture of my dick in a pack of bubblegum and say "chew on this."
J-Woww's pussy must be rainbows and pots of treasure.
They're pretty cool, ya know, there are some girls that are just gonna come here, strip off their clothes, and jump in the jacuzzi. Then there are some girls that are respectful, that you have to just actually treat like girls, human beings.
They're cool girls. They're smart and everything, but they want to hook up just as well, but I think it will take a couple of times seeing them to hook up. They're not, like, whores.
I definitely want to look good for Ronnie's parents, because it's the first time they're meeting me. Like, I want them to think like, wow, that's her, she's really pretty, and whatever.
S1 E6Boardwalk Blowups
It's so hard to find a good man these days. That's why I date women.
MMike "The Situation"
I felt bad about Snickers getting hit by a couple linebackers. I necessarily didn't want to bring home any sort of zoo creatures what-so-ever. I mean, these broads just probably smelled the food at the house.
Through the scuffle, Snooks gets hit in the face again. Poor girl...she needs to take some karate classes or somethin'. She needs self defense. Somebody's got to teach her how to fight or duck.
I hate guys. I'm turning lesbian, I swear.
MMike "The Situation"
G.T.L. baby. Gym, Tanning, Laundry.
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