Jersey Shore Season 2 quotes

My uncles want me to just come here and bang everything, but I kinda want better quality girls.

I don't go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. I feel like he did that intentionally for us, like McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning... because he is pale and he would probably wanna be tanned.

How many meatballs do you want?

I want two...in my face.

Pauly D

[about the cold rain in Rhode Island] Can't stand this weather. Ya can't get tanned in this weather, ya can't creep in this weather, you can't do anything... girls don't come out in this weather, they stay in the house.

Ronnie's at the club, hooking up with Grenades - that is a bigger, ugly chick - and also Landmines - which is a thin, ugly chick - and um, lovin' life.

I feel like a pilgrim from the frickin 20's!!!

We have an abundance of wife beaters...and we wear them before we go out, before it's T-shirt time. Right before we go out, we take off the tank and then we put on our fresh shirt.

Can I place an order?

What's the name?

Situation.

Name?

Yeah. Situation. S-i-t-u-a-t-i-o-n.

Whatever man, what's your order?

[after knocking the marinating chicken onto the floor] My first thought was, I don't wanna clean this up. My second thought was, I just fucked up dinner. My third thought was, what the fuck am I gonna eat?

Pauly D

My boss seems to think that my hair is gonna fall off and go into the ice cream. This hair ain't movin' my dude. 150 mph on the highway on a street bike...it doesn't move! What makes you think it's gonna move in a gelato shop?

It's not like anybody's gonna be my friend after this anyway.

Pauly D

That's true.

It hurts my vagina.

OK, come down.

No no, I like it!

[behind the counter] I can't see any ice creams, I can't see any customers, 'cause I'm a fuckin' Smurf.

You look hot. You just took my breath away.

You tryin' to smush right now?

Wanna fuck?

Sure.