JAG quotes

You'd follow Captain Koonan to hell.

And back, ma'am. He'd get us back.

I got to admire your restraint, Gunny. You held off decking that jerk for a good two, maybe three seconds.

Man, I don't remember it hurting this much.

Don't tell me you're out of practice, Gunny?

You know, it's getting harder and harder to find a good bar fight.

There is only one thing I want to know.

Sir?

How did the men perform?

Outstanding, sir.

How can that be, Gunnery Sergent Post? My men ended up in the brig. Did you see any rangers in the brig, First Sergeant Creed?

Not one Ranger, sir.

Rangers are in sickbay, sir.

I see. How do you feel about that, First Sergeant?

I'm appalled by their conduct, sir.

The First Sergeant and I are appalled, Gunny.

Yes sir I thought you would be sir.

It is the custom to salute an officer.

(salutes) Yes ma'am. You are loving this new relationship.

Not as much as you're loving your new infantry career.

How do you train men for war, Mac?

You can't have a war if your Marines are dead before the damn thing starts.

Sometimes it's better just to put an old guard dog down. He's more trouble than he's worth once he's outlived his usefulness.

You can always find some way to be useful, Chief.

And what am I supposed to do, sir? If I don't want to be a mercenary, what am I supposed to do? I can kill a man 18 different ways with my bare hands. I can break down 43 different assault rifles. I can jump out of a chopper going 30 knots 30 feet into a freezing ocean and swim all night to a submarine. But what am I supposed to do now?

"I hope I got the ribbons right."

Bud, if you were a girl I'd kiss you.

(laughs) Red light, Commander. Does this mean I get my Game Boy back?

Nardoni argued his way to a weaker position. The jury knowing only helps us.

Funny how that happens.

Are you saying you planned it?

What do you think? I think I like the big leagues.

How do we as a society treat the warriors we create? By locking up them for protecting their children the same way they protected us? The prosecution would say yes. I say Chief Bauwer is a hero, a guardian angel, whose love for his son kept him always there, in the shadows. He came through for his son, just like in ways we'll never know, he came through for all of us.

I'd like you to stay overnight for observation.

In the hospital?

Well, I think it's a little early in our relationship for you to stay at my place.

I fear no man.

Well, I guess that makes you stupid as well as annoying. I sure as Sam Hill wouldn't like a Navy SEAL hunting me down like a mad dog.

He's a Navy SEAL?

Yeah. A real killer. He'll sneak up on you and snap your skinny chicken neck like that! I know, I taught that boy everything.

And you are?

Admiral Walter Hume, United States Navy Covert Operations!

He want's to know how many centimeters you're dilated.

It feels as big as the Grand Canyon! Oh come on, I've got nothing you haven't seen before!

Well?

Well, I can honestly say, I have never seen that before. She’s about 5 centimetres.

Five?!

Maybe six?

Look again, buster, and don’t you come back up until I’m hearing double digits!

We are not murderers! We are fighting for the freedom of our people.

By killing old men and young women?

Do you know how many old men and young women and even babies we have lost?

Too many. It doesn't justify killing more.

What happened?

A little language problem. How do you say 'stay where you are or I'll pistol whip you' in Farsi?

(speaks Farsi)

It sounded just like that.