Hyah! Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt!
Jade?! I told you to go back to the hotel room!
Lost my key. Okay, now. Let the Chan Man go.
Dr. Weber, give the child a lollipop.
Don't sucker me, sucker!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I cannot believe I'm stuck in the jungle with such a spoiled brat.
You invited me!
I was talking about him. [beckons to Smith] Mr. Smith, please. We must stay together. There are many dangers in the bush!
SSmith
Yes, yes, so you keep saying. [to his butler] Hop to it, Larsen.
Why don't we ditch Frik and Frak and have some real fun? Go swinging with the monkeys, or wrestle a crocodile! Whaddya say, Big J?
I'm sorry Jade, but you must learn that growing up sometimes means having to do things that are not fun.
Pfft. Like guiding obnoxious jerks through the jungle just because they give lots of money to the museum?
Uhhh... yes.
In that case, I never wanna grow up. [eyes widen] What am I saying? I can't wait to grow up! Get my own car, cellphone- which now that you mention it-
I didn't mention it.
SSmith
[holding the Chalice of Life] Everything I've ever hoped for, Larsen! Right here, right now! Eternal youth; eternal life!
LLarsen
Perhaps you would like me to sample it first, sir? To make sure it's safe?
SSmith
Uh, no that won't be necessary. Oh you don't think I'd leave you out of this, old friend? After all your years of faithful service?
LLarsen
Well, I had hoped-
SSmith
Larsen, I want you by my side to serve me forever!
LLarsen
Oh goodie...
I'm in the woods, I'm tired, cold, and hungry. And I'm being hunted! [shines flashlight on Jackie] Ah!
Jade, I thought you were going to gather firewood.
Hello?! Have you learned nothing from the movies? Whoever gets the firewood is always the creeping terror's first victim.
So that's what happened to the other little girl I sent for firewood.
Very funny.
MMonk
Perhaps the little monkey is closer than you think. [shows Jackie Chan the Lotus Temple]
The Lotus Temple! Are you coming?
MMonk
I will wait here. I would not want to... intrude.
MMonk
Ancient wisdom; the worm realizes he's bait, only after the fish bites.
Uncle Jackie, the sun's coming up!
Good.
You don't understand! The temple vanishes at dawn, and anyone inside goes with it!
How many crazy rules does this temple have?!
Incredible.
Incredibly boring. What kind of lame pyramid is this? No mummy curses, no booby traps, no bonus points.
This is not a video game, Jade. This is important research.
VVillager
It is just as we told El Toro! The Chupacabra attacked our house!
And what exactly did the creature look like?
VCVillager Child
It was giant with glowing red eyes, four fangs, oh claws too, and it howled like this: Arooooo!
Yup. Sounds like a chimichanga to me.
Fear not. The beast is no match against El Toro, the Bull!
And El Jackie, th- ...the Chan!
[Uncle kicks door open]
The flight was delayed, the food was terrible, the movie had no plot, and I had turbulence!
Ghost?
Kinda. [looking at an old book depicting one of Jackie's ancestors] The ghost of Jackie.
[picking up the book] "The Hong Kong Kid".
Aiya! Do not scare Uncle like that!
Amazing! The picture looks just like me! This book must be about my great-great grandfather!
Fine, take home. Make good bedtime story.
I want to hear it now.
Me too!
HKHong Kong Kid (Jackie)
Uh, howdy partners.
CTCowboy Thug
Well looky here boys. We got us a railroad worker.
LTLarge Thug
Railroad workers ain't allowed in this here establishment, ain't that right, Moreen?
MMoreen
I don't want no trouble here!
HKHong Kong Kid
Oh, no trouble ma'am. I would just like a ginger ale, with lots of ice please. Very thirsty. I've been working on the railroad... [the thugs sit next to him] Uh... all the live long day?
[a very well dressed, well behaved young woman arrives via stagecoach]
NNiece (Jade)
Uncle Jackie?
HKHong Kong Kid
Uh, I am Jackie.
NNiece (Jade)
I am your niece. Just arrived from Hong Kong.
[outside the story]
This is so cool! She's my long lost, great-great something or other! I bet you she looked exactly like me.
Uh, actually it says here that the Sheriff's niece was very tall, and fifteen years old.
Must be a type-o.
[the well dressed niece is replaced by a younger, rowdy looking niece resembling Jade]
I grow impatient, Valmont! I trust your men were able to pull off a simple robbery?
Rest assured, Shendu. My boys will be rendezvousing with us momentarily. [Finn and Ratso walk into the cave] You see?
OROutlaw Ratso
Uh, ran into a little trouble.
OFOutlaw Finn
That sheriff you hired.
You didn't get the gold?!
Fools!
OFOutlaw Finn
Hey, hold on Shen-dude! Ain't exactly like we came back empty-handed! [Ratso clicks, and a horse enters the cave] Got the horse off the stagecoach just like you asked.
I didn't want the horse, I wanted the Horse TALISMAN!
OROutlaw Ratso
Oh... uh, what's a talisman?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jackie Chan Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.