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S2 E22

Jackie Chan Adventures · Season 2, Episode 22

“Agent Tag” quotes from Jackie Chan Adventures

6 quotes

“Agent Tag” · Season 2, Episode 22

In this episode: Jackie (3), Agent Tag (3), Jade (2), Captain Black (2)

Gentlemen, we have an emergency. Criminal Mastermind Dr. Ashby Necrosis is back.

Dr. Necrosis? The Kingpin of Techno-crime?

The same. Reports are that he has developed a cutting edge high tech doomsday device. The entire world is in jeopardy. We've located what we believe to be the Doctor's base, the Necropolis, inside this dormant volcano. Someone must infiltrate the Necropolis and destroy the Doomsday weapon.

I suggest Taggart McStone.

Unfortunately, Agent Tag retired last year. He left the spy game forever.

[the agent peels off a mask to reveal he's actually Agent Tag]

Never say forever.

Agent Tag!

I'll require the standard infiltration package, my briefcase, and a fresh suit. Italian, of course.

Of course.

Who are you? Why are you following me?

Uhhh, Captain Black sent me!

Hmmm, a little girl with dark hair who tags along and is an obvious liar. I've heard of you! You're Jade! Section 13 has classified you as the ultimate security risk! You've jeopardized my mission!

Whoa. You need to calm down, Captain Blood Pressure.

NDr. Necrosis

Hoyle, I have deduced the identity of our intruder; Taggart McStone.

HHoyle

[playing with a deck of cards] That wild card's still in the game? But I thought he folded last year.

NDr. Necrosis

There is no one else it could be. He is the only human capable of infiltrating my Necropolis! Oh how I long to meet my nemesis face to face. You won't ruin his face, will you?

HHoyle

[throws a playing card at a vase, slicing it in half] No promises.

NDr. Necrosis

For years, he has foiled all my techno-plans, but this time, we have the Druid Stone, and even Agent Tag cannot defeat its ancient magic! The world is ours!

HHoyle

[playing more with his cards] We hold all the cards! We have the upper hand! We-

NDr. Necrosis

We could take it down a notch with the card puns.

HHoyle

[holding his playing cards] All hands on deck, Agent Tag!

[kicks him over] I am not Agent Tag!

HHoyle

Don't try to bluff me, it doesn't suit you! [throws more cards at Jackie, and traps him in a vortex of cards] Druid Stone is secure, and inform the good doctor that we have a bonus jackpot onboard. A certain joker who claims he isn't Agent Tag.

NDr. Necrosis

You are not what I expected, Agent Tag. Although your disguise as a buffoon was most convincing.

[secured to a table] But I am not Agent Tag. I am Jackie Chan, a researcher.

NDr. Necrosis

Of course if you were Agent Tag, you would deny it emphatically.

No, I would claim to be Agent Tag, assuming you would not believe me.

NDr. Necrosis

But I would anticipate your assumption that I would not believe you!

I would foresee your anticipating my assumption of your not believing!

NDr. Necrosis

But how could you predict I wouldn't expect your forseeing my anticipation of your assuming my not believing? Ha! Answer me that.

I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU JUST SAID!

NDr. Necrosis

Precisely what I expected you to say... Agent Tag.

And that's how I reached Arecibo in time to rescue the Chans.

That's why you're our top agent, Tag.

[growls] "Rescue the Chans"? We did all the hard stuff!

It's alright, Jade. Let it go.

Now if I can finish my crossword, this day will truly be a success. Six letters, Celtic Pig Goddess...

[falling asleep] Moccas. M-O-C-C-A-S.

Mr. Chan, you're a genius!

Nope. Just a researcher.

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jackie Chan Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.