You've been acting all weird lately. [Tohru groans] C'mon, you can tell me! It's Uncle, right? That garlic smell?
It's my mother...
What? Is she sick, or- ...You have a mom?
“The Mother of All Battles” · Season 2, Episode 14
In this episode: Tohru (7), Jade (4), Jackie (3), Uncle (3), Captain Black (1)
What's so yuck about a visit from your mom?
[sigh] I am the black sheep. All I have ever wanted was for my mother to be proud of me.
Well, she will be! Look at you! You're handsome, and big, you've got a...you're big!
MTMama Tohru
[upon seeing the antique store] This where you live?! Ugh...you gave up good job with nice Mr. Valmont for this?!
Nice? Hello, doesn't she know that Valmont's a crook?
No...and please do not tell her.
MTMama Tohru
Aah, my son. A servant in a junk shop!
Junk shop?!
This is an antique store.
MTMama Tohru
Hah! Only antique I see is the billy goat there! [referring to Uncle]
Billy goat?!
Mommy!
MTMama Tohru
Hushup!
Dragon lady should watch her forked tongue unless she wants a piece of Uncle!
MTMama Tohru
Hah! I would sweep floor with you! And this floor needs it.
[answers his phone] Hello?
Hope I didn't catch you in the middle of anything, Jackie.
Uh, Uncle and Tohru's mom are getting acquainted.
Ah, family time.
MTMama Tohru
[holding a vase] Cheap junk!
[takes vase away] Xing Dynasty!
Could be trouble brewing on the horizon.
Believe me, I know.
The Octopus will be on exhibit at the Japanese Expo. I'd feel better if you were there to assist with security.
Uh, you want me to guard a fish?
Actually, octopuses aren't fish, they're multipods.
Octopi...[as Uncle and Mama Tohru continue to bicker] Please, behave!
Sorry, Grammar was never my best subject in school...
Oh, you mean the Kyoto Octopus! It is the most famous relic of the Komodo Dynasty.
Intelligence sources that the Yokanawa Crime Family has the octopus in its sights.
MTMama Tohru
Huh! Why don't you get some light in here?
Thought bats could see in the dark.
[to Uncle and Mama Tohru] This must stop!
My thinking exactly. I'll set it up. Thanks for your help, Jackie.
Grape is my favorite.
YCYokanawa Crime Boss
You made a wise choice, Tohru.
What do I do?
YCYokanawa Crime Boss
Nothing fancy. You cruise into the expo, create a diversion, meanwhile my boys make an endrun, and nab the octopus. One tiny problem. Word is, you double-crossed your old boss, Valmont. That you're a rat.
I am no rat!
YTYokanawa Thug 1
Prove it!
I have information.
YCYokanawa Crime Boss
Yeah?
Um, Jackie Chan will be working security at the expo.
YTYokanawa Thug 2
I heard of him. They say he's unbeatable.
[crushes a desk] Nobody is unbeatable.
YCYokanawa Crime Boss
I trust you'll take care of this Jackie Chan personally, Tohru. ...And I mean, permanently.
[Jade rides into the expo on a scooter]
Jade, how did you get in here?
Security's lousy.
[as Uncle and Mama Tohru enter the backroom]
Uncle!
Mommy!
YTYokanawa Thug 1
Hey! I said "front door" and to come alone!
I told her! [to Mama Tohru] See?! I told you!
MTMama Tohru
Nyah! Would have lost your way! Near-sighted mule can barely see hook nose in front of his face!
Eyesight good enough to see the hair growing out of that mole!
MTMama Tohru
That is a beauty mark!
YCYokanawa Crime Boss
Quit the squabbling, and put the fish on the table!
YTYokanawa Thug 1
Uhh, boss, technically an octopus is a member of the multipod family, and- [is given a look by his boss] Put the fish on the table!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jackie Chan Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.