Don E. How soon could you have a grave dug?
I have plans, actually. [Blaine remains silent] A few hours.
Well, let's get 'er done.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
It's not a tumor.
I'm not disputing that Bonnie and Clyde are like family to you, but the IRS doesn't allow you to claim pit bulls as dependents.
BCBilly the Chin
But I'm their sole provider.
I know, but I always advise my clients to stay on the right side of the law.
Uh, Major.
Yeah?
I know where you live. I know where Liv, um, lives. Give me my dad or things are gonna get ugly fast, okay?
[Liv lays in bed thinking about the people who lie]
[narrating] Everyone lies. It's a coping mechanism. A key survival trait. Show me someone who always tells the truth, and I'll show you a weirdo. But maybe the most dangerous lies are the ones we tell ourselves. That boy you like? The one who gets shot, the one who hangs out with Don E. and Blaine and disappears in the middle of the night. You've never seen his place or met his friends.
Big Fish saw Terrell bent over Popeye Collier's dead body, blood on his hands. Big Fish could've put Terrell away for murder. That has to be why Terrell killed him.
We should drop back in on Terrell. I can swing by first thing.
Great. I'll be ready. Oh, and Clive, if you can, pick me up a soy vanilla latte. There's this new study that says caffeine helps stimulate psychic activity. Clive? Clive!
I'm not palling around with him. One of the weird, um, 'perks', at my job is that I get to know just about every funeral director in the city.
You didn't tell me.
Yeah, because I thought you would do something unwise with the information. Drop by the grenade store.
(to Angus) Someone should teach you how to humble brag. People might hate you less.
I'm gonna need my dad back. God, do I miss that man. [Blaine tries to cry] Nope. Can't do it. You need me to show you a photo, or?
No, I have no doubt which one is your dad. Imperious, fancy dresser, owns a bust of himself.
[Blaine smiles] That's the guy!
[Major and Chief carry in the body bag to Blaine's frozen dead father]
I guess someone's gotta make an obligatory popsicle joke, right? No? When did it get so highbrow in here?
[Blaine unzips the body bag to his dead father]
Oh! They're so cute when they're sleeping.
[Blaine pulls his reanimated father out of the freezer]
[Blaine made-up to look and sound like an old man] Daddy? You've come back to us. After 50 years of praying, here you are. You missed it all. The Zombie Apocalypse, the Rapture, the Ginger Rapture, the Great Floods of '28 and '44.
Blaine? Is that you?
Quick! We've got to get you out of here before Dr. Zaiua catches us! You see, winter is coming!
[Liv leaves Drake a voice message]
Hey, it's me. I thought you were coming over for dinner? Text me so I know you're alive? Unless I'm being ghosted. In which case that would defeat the purpose. Ah, frack!
My handlers don't care which zombie I take out next as long as I make my way steadily down my list.
And they have you freeze them?
They think I'm killing them.
Killing sounds easier.
Yeah, except I'm not a murderer.
I bet you tell that to all the families grieving for their loved ones.
This pathological liar brain is gonna get me in trouble. I can feel it.
Not with me.
I'll know the truth when I hear it.
Ahh! I stand corrected.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's IZombie pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.