TV show quotes
Are you ever happy you're a zombie?
You should know that's a stupid question.
Is it? Before I became a zombie, I was wasting my life. Human Blaine was a nobody. An underachiever. He was a, he was a joke. Zombie Blaine, though... Zombie Blaine was the man.
He was a murderer.
But he was exceptional.
[Liv and Clive examine Roger Thrunk's turtle]
I saw a movie once set in a jungle prison. Prisoners wrote messages on the bottom of turtles' shells.
[Clive puts on a pair of gloves, picking up the turtle] Ah... The things they never tell you that you'll be doing at the detective academy.
[as Dale Bozzio walks into the room] Babineaux! You and that turtle get a room.
I'm looking for messages.
[Bozzio nods] I won't ask.
[Ravi rushes into Liv and Clive's bedroom]
Are you decent?
[under the blankets together] Decent enough.
Tell me you haven't had sex yet.
Seems like a question you could've asked outside the door.
Zombie virus is a hundredth the size of a typical virus. I tested every brand of condom, every material. 102 samples. Zombie virus went through all of them. If you have sex, Major will become a zombie. That is not a risk, that's a certainty. Look, someday I'll cure it. I will. But until then, I'm sorry.
[Liv and Major see Clive and Agent Bozzio together]
[speaking to Liv behind his smile] Oh, no. Abort. Just turn around.
[speaking to Major behind her smile] I'm already waving, that would be incredibly weird. Nut up. [Liv finally talks to Clive] Hey, you. Didn't know you existed outside the station. I thought you were just put back in your Detective Clive box. Pull his string and he says, 'Miss Moore, please.'
[Liv sees how Clive acts differently when staring at former NBA basketball player Calvin Owens]
We should probably go talk to Calvin.
You look like me going to see NSYNC when I was 10.
Liv, Major, this is Miss Bozzio from the FBI.
Dale. It's nice to get a name. In my head you've been, umm, "Girl from the morgue who somehow makes Goth work."
Oh, that is her native American name. Hi, I'm Barely Employed Arm Candy. No, I'm Major.
(smiles) You certainly are.
[last lines]
[Don E. talks to Blaine in the morgue of the funeral home as Blaine listens to orchestral music] What are we listening to? Can we turn this crap off?
[Liv, Clive, and Ravi go over Syd Wicked's crime scene]
What kind of name is Syd Wicked?
Stage name. He's a magician. You don't dress like that unless you do magic or you hate your parents. Apparently there's some big magician convention happening at this hotel all week.
Of course! PrestoFest. How did I miss that? I'm on the mailing list.
[the magician Houdina performs her card throwing trick on stage with Liv as the volunteer]
People think playing cards is just for fun and games. But a full deck is like a gun with 52 deadly bullets in the chamber.
[Houdina throws the playing card, cutting the celery stalk Liv holds in her mouth]
You weren't performing when Syd was killed. You'd already disappeared off-stage for your closer.
Guys, I didn't actually disappear. I hate to break this to you. Magic isn't real. You remember the cocktail waitress at the end of the show? The one you asked if she knew where I was? That was me. I had her costume on underneath mine.
But I looked right at you.
That's the thing about a magic trick. If it's done well, the answer's right in front of you.
[Liv holds the card] What's that chick's problem?
That's the Empress. She symbolizes fertility and growth in the natural world. Ancients say...
Super boring. Sorry I asked.
[Liv and Blaine sit on their stakeout outside Agent Bozzio's house]
[they see Bozzio and Clive kiss from the front window] Love is only a delay of death, a tragedy waiting in the wings.
[Blaine turns his head to Liv] You're bumming me out, man.
So how many magicians come to this?
PrestoFest every year? Oh, upwards of 200. Then you have your semi-professionals, your weekend wizards, and the occasional hypnotist. 'PrestoFest, come for the illusions and stay for the sleight of ha... '
Looks like we're going to be interviewing a whole lot of magicians. Sometimes I really hate this job.
[first lines]
[Liv and Major lay in bed together after making out] Phew! That was pretty good.
Yeah.
It was almost as good as sex. Like the difference between a turkey burger and a hamburger.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's IZombie pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
