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S7 E3

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia · Season 7, Episode 3

Frank, Mortician and others in “Frank Reynolds' Little Beauties”

[Frank backstage with mortician]

I can't figure this tie out here. [microphone feedback]

[over speakers] I got...I got a question about you morticians. You bang the dead bodies?

MMortician

Mm...no.

Imagine stuff like that goes on all time, right? [chuckles] I mean, I don't give a shit. If I was dead, you could bang me all you want. Who cares? [audience gasps] Dead body's like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want.

Turn his mic down.

I'm trying! I don't know! I don't know how!

You don't know how?

I don't know which one it is!

...fill me up with cream. Turn me into cannoli...

What's going on, you idiot?

[Indistinct talking]

...make a stew out of my ass. What's the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shit? You're dead, you're dead. Oh! Ooh, shit. Is my mic on?

Oh, God.

[Frank rushes back to the stage]

[chuckles] Oh! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. [audience jeering] That was a mistake. The janitor got a hold of the P.A. system. Puerto Rican guy. [audience murmuring]

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