iCarly quotes

Mr. Howard

[after catching the students; angrily and confused] A video camera?! Turtles?! Burritos?! What is going on here?!

Carly

[hesitantly] The iCarly 50th Web-Show Spectacular? [Sam hesitantly presses 5th button which plays a recording of a cheering crowd; Carly angrily snatches the remote from Sam]

Mr. Howard

[angrily; stupidly thinking he had won] You're all really in trouble now. I am talking suspension! I am talking expulsion! Deportation! [Principal Franklin appears, but Mr. Howard doesn't notice] And you can all start with 500 push-ups! I don't care what Principal Franklin has to say about it.

Principal Franklin

[sternly] (Oh, really?) You don't?

Mr. Howard

[angrily] No! I-- [sees Principal Franklin; alarmed] Oh! [embarrassed] Oh, dear. Pr-- Principal Franklin.

Carly

What are you doing here?

Principal Franklin

Well, I was at home, watching the iCarly 50th Web-Show Spectacular. [to Carly and Sam; pleased] Congratulations, by the way. My kids and I love your show.

Carly

Wow.

Sam

Awesome.

Principal Franklin

[becomes serious again] While I was watching, I heard Mr. Howard...call me a weak, spineless fool.

Mr. Howard

[horrified] No, no, no! I Said...uh, sweet. Stylish. Cool.

Principal Franklin

[not believing Mr. Howard] (No, you didn't.) In my office.

Mr. Howard

But I--

Principal Franklin

[sternly] Now.

Mr. Howard

[walks out of detention room; defeated] Why does everything always happen to me?

Carly

So, now what?

Principal Franklin

Well, I suppose Mr. Howard has tortured you all enough. Go home.

Carly

Okay, we're just about done.

Sam

I'm Sam...

Carly

I'm Carly...

Principal Franklin

And I'm Ted.

Principal Franklin

[Sam almost pushes 5th button; politely] May I?

Sam

[politely] Second button from the bottom. [Principal Frank pushes said button]

♪ It's iCarly's 50th Web-Show Spectacular. ♪

Bye! Keep visiting iCarly.com. Don't forget it.

Freddie

And we're clear.

Freddie

Do you really think Sam's gonna make me get a tattoo of her face?

Carly

I don't know, but if she does, won't your mom freak?

Freddie

She freaked when I spilled one tiny drop of mustard on my church pants! [Carly laughs] What?

Carly

"Church pants!"

Sam

Okay, Freddie's never late for iCarly. Are you worried?

Carly

If I wasn't worried, would I be drinking water with this expression on my face?! [she quickly takes a sip of water with a frantic expression]

Sam

[about the Briarwood headmaster] Of course she'll like Carly! And then, Carly will go there, make all new friends and then bye-bye us!

Freddie

I don't wanna be bye-byed!

Carly

Why?!

Sam

Why what?

Carly

I'm not playing! Why did you guys intentionally sabotage my interview?! (Sam and Freddie take sips of their drinks) Don't nonchalantly sip your drinks! Answer me!

Your Carly Shay, from ICarly right? Phillip Brownley, Briarwood prep.

Sam

I can read a book!

Freddie

Name three books you've read.

Sam

Boogie Bear, Boogie Bear II, and Boogie Bear III: The Return of Boogie Bear.

Carly

Who's the dude?

Sam

David, I hired him to read the book to me.

Carly

Then why is he rubbing your feet?

Sam

Because he was late. So, I started reading it myself and it is fantastic! These things are great! It's like TV in your head!

Carly

Well, I'm glad you like reading. But I still don't see why David's rubbing your feet.

Sam

I already paid the kid; I had to make him do something.

[pleading] Please call my mother.

But Michelle, Why would you accept two dates to the prom but not tell either boy about the other?

Michelle

Because, Dad, Luke is so sweet. But Brandon is so hot!

Ah, noodles!

Lame.

Spencer

This is called a guava. [starts nodding head]

Guava. [The class starts nodding their heads.]

[to Sam] You're fired.

What?!

Sam

Hold on, hold on. If I'm fired, do I get paid for the whole week?

Yeah!

Sam

Laters. [walks out with rib]

Carly

Don't thump him!

Don't even talk to me.

Freddie

No, I toasted your bagel, cleaned your fish tank, got hacked on by Amber Tate's rat dog, and I even rubbed ice over a sweaty guy's stomach, but I will not plunge your toilet!

Come on, you're my supervising producer.

Freddie

Well, I ain't supervising what you produced in there! (to Carly) Sorry, Carly. I quit.

Carly

Well, now, we've lost Sam, Freddie, and Harper.

Oh, everything's gonna be fine.

Carly

"Fine"? This isn't even iCarly anymore!

Oh, come on, how can you say that.. You know, you're right. This isn't iCarly anymore.

Carly

Aww! Poor kid... it must be horrible to love someone who doesn't love you back. (Freddie looks at her) Sorry.

Freddie

[holding up a bunch of love notes] These are love notes.

Carly

Uh-oh, from Shannon?

Freddie

Uh-huh! And try taking a test while she's staring at you like this! [makes flirty poses while smiling suggestively, imitating Shannon.]

Carly

Please never make those faces again.

Freddie

What's it gonna take to make Shannon understand? I don't wanna go out with her!