Laverne Winston quotes from Human Target

Guerrero

Dude, no way.

Laverne

Why? It's a simple Norma Jean.

Guerrero

First of all, there's no such thing as a simple Norma Jean. When a Norma Jean goes bad, it goes real bad. A Norma Jean went bad on my cousin Pat. She ended up pregnant with twins.

Laverne

They won't know what hit 'em.

Christopher

They won't know what hit 'em.

I'm telling you, there's no way my wife is trying to kill me. She loves me. We've never even had a fight.

Laverne

That should've been your first clue.

Guerrero

Interior doors are probably alarmed, so...

Winston

Yeah, I'll get the climbing gear.

Guerrero

Seriously?

Winston

Yeah, man. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do what you gotta do

Guerrero

Look, uh, don't know how to tell you this, but you rappelling off the side of a 40-story building is... not a good idea.

Winston

Oh, so what's this now, another crack about my size?

Guerrero

Well... yeah.

Winston

So I guess you're the love expert now. What, are you waiting for me to give you an apology for doubting you?

Christopher

Love is never having to say you're sorry.

Winston

Oh why don't you shut up?

Christopher

Even after you shoot somebody in the chest.

Yeah, our relationship may have started out a lie, but, um, it became very real.

Winston

Yeah. Normally, it's the other way around.

Guerrero

I think what Winston meant was, it's not the lack of love, but the, uh, lack of friendship that makes for an unhappy marriage.

Christopher

Did you make that up?

Guerrero

Nietzsche.

Laverne

The floor is completely covered with invisible laser sheeting. so anything touches that, and...

Laverne

Nothing. What do you think happens? Alarms, guards, reign of terror--keep up.

Ames

I was just asking a question.

Laverne

So let me ask you... do you know anyone, anyone at all, less threatening... than this man?

I'm right here.

Laverne

Less threatening and yet secretly, inexplicably, guaran-damn-teed to fall ass-backwards into the lap of success.

Christopher

Well played.

Laverne

Thank you.

Laverne

You do realize that just because we're men doesn't mean we can't talk about our feelings?

Christopher

Yes, it does.

Laverne

Oh, that's good then. Just keep it all balled up like a knot, just… well, it's too late now anyway. She's already gone... caveman.

Christopher

Oprah