Guerrero quotes from Human Target

Guerrero

[commenting on Emma investigation board on Chris] It's like a teenage girl locker. That's real heavy on the chin dont'cha think

Guerrero

[Winston enters office to find Guerrero sitting at his desk] Hey dude.

Winston

Breaking and entering is a crime, you know.

Guerrero

Yeah, it's good to see you too, Winston. It's been a while.

Winston

Oh, not long enough. What are you doing in my office? And what the hell are you doing on my computer?

Guerrero

I'm checking out the contents of Mark Hoffer's hard drive. I'm sure it's mostly personal.

Winston

Do I want to know how you came about it?

Guerrero

Editor at the paper owes me. A couple of years ago a gas company hired a guy to hassle him over a story he was working. It got nasty. I got him out of it.

Winston

How?

Guerrero

I decided to stop hassling him.

Guerrero

I got to warn you guys, if this gets violent, I'm gonna fight back.

You think you're gonna fight back?

Guerrero

All right, maybe fight back's a little misleading. I'll take the beating 'cause that's all you two amateurs are cleared to do. And then one night soon, I'm gonna break into your house and kill each of you in your sleep. Probably start with you, Alfredo. That way Steven here can have a few extra days with Marla and the girls. It's only fair.

Laverne

Martin's father said the feds told him, the only way they can go there if it was a matter of national security.

Guerrero

Right.

Laverne

Well, we're going to make it one.

Laverne

All right, what the hell's going on? You heard me.

Guerrero

There's a guy out there, been looking for Chance for awhile. Just got one step closer I guess.

Laverne

Who?

Guerrero

His old boss.

It was fun.

Guerrero

It was fun?

Yeah.

Guerrero

That's just the adrenaline in your system. You're gonna crash later. *This* line of work, there is nothing worse than the highs and lows. Nothing's ever what you think it is. Nothing's ever over.

Is he saying I'm dumb?

Guerrero

Of course not.

I'm not dumb.

Guerrero

Your headphones are on backwards.

Laverne

[about Chance] You ever known him to be nervous about anything?

Guerrero

Final Jeopardy questions. Volcanoes.

Laverne

I come with you on these things because, you know...

Guerrero

For God's sake, get a room already.

Laverne

Shut up

Ames

What are you going to do with that? Are you going to hit a defenseless girl again? Huh, tough guy!

Guerrero

You're going through what I call the, "5 Phases of Fear": Denial, Anger, Frustration, Acceptance, and eventually, Fear.

Guerrero

Who's the dude?

Laverne

You're drunk.

Christopher

You're not wearing your glasses.

Guerrero

Fell into a meat grinder, new pair won't be ready until tomorrow.

Laverne

He's a bad kid.

Guerrero

No, he's not. I know bad people. This kid isn't bad. He's a punk. Show me some bodies, then we can talk.

Ames

You know, if you had said to me a few years back that I'd be working straight, I'd have thought you were crazy.

Laverne

If you told me ten years ago I'd be drinking with you and the rest of these crooks in here, I'd have you committed.

Ilsa

Tell me about it. Will someone pour me a drink?

Guerrero

There goes the good stuff.

Guerrero

Dude, no way.

Laverne

Why? It's a simple Norma Jean.

Guerrero

First of all, there's no such thing as a simple Norma Jean. When a Norma Jean goes bad, it goes real bad. A Norma Jean went bad on my cousin Pat. She ended up pregnant with twins.

Guerrero

Fine. Then I'll go.

Guerrero

What's wrong with putting a gun to his head? A lot of productive things have happened by putting a gun to someone's head.

And besides, it suddenly occurred to me that--and despite what this says about me and despite how truly distressing the thought... you might be the last friend I've got on this earth.

Christopher

I spent most of the last six years wishing you were dead. We're not friends. Not by any definition I know of.

Yeah, well, beggars can't be choosers, right?