Laverne Winston quotes from Human Target

Laverne

Yeah, listen about

Laverne

. I saw the way you were looking at her at the embassy...

Laverne

Sure it is listen, all I hope that this women has the good sense to keep you at arms length and treats this case with the same kind objectivity, oh dear god

Guerrero

[Winston enters office to find Guerrero sitting at his desk] Hey dude.

Winston

Breaking and entering is a crime, you know.

Guerrero

Yeah, it's good to see you too, Winston. It's been a while.

Winston

Oh, not long enough. What are you doing in my office? And what the hell are you doing on my computer?

Guerrero

I'm checking out the contents of Mark Hoffer's hard drive. I'm sure it's mostly personal.

Winston

Do I want to know how you came about it?

Guerrero

Editor at the paper owes me. A couple of years ago a gas company hired a guy to hassle him over a story he was working. It got nasty. I got him out of it.

Winston

How?

Guerrero

I decided to stop hassling him.

Laverne

Martin's father said the feds told him, the only way they can go there if it was a matter of national security.

Guerrero

Right.

Laverne

Well, we're going to make it one.

Christopher

Oh an Aunt Linda.

Laverne

Uh uh, calling in the cavalry is an Uncle Dan.

Christopher

No, calling in the cavalry is an Aunt Linda; I don't even know who Uncle Dan is.

Laverne

All right, what the hell's going on? You heard me.

Guerrero

There's a guy out there, been looking for Chance for awhile. Just got one step closer I guess.

Laverne

Who?

Guerrero

His old boss.

Laverne

[about Chance] You ever known him to be nervous about anything?

Guerrero

Final Jeopardy questions. Volcanoes.

Laverne

I come with you on these things because, you know...

Guerrero

For God's sake, get a room already.

Laverne

Shut up

Laverne

Man, you see me here drinking at 2:30 in the afternoon; you really want to antagonize me about my name? What the hell's the matter with you, you got a death wish or something?

Christopher

Not that I'm aware of.

Laverne

Yeah, I've got a name that sounds like a girl's name. I also carry a 45, I got a history of disciplinary problems, and this aint my first drink today. So, you got another comment?

Christopher

You can call me Connie.

Laverne

Gentlemen clientele.

Christopher

Pretty safe to say.

Laverne

Noting safe about that place.

Christopher

Are you worried about me?

Laverne

Ok, so you want to tell me why we're taking this case?

Chance

Seven years ago I killed her husband.

Guerrero

Who's the dude?

Laverne

You're drunk.

Christopher

You're not wearing your glasses.

Guerrero

Fell into a meat grinder, new pair won't be ready until tomorrow.

Laverne

He's a bad kid.

Guerrero

No, he's not. I know bad people. This kid isn't bad. He's a punk. Show me some bodies, then we can talk.

Christopher

What are you going to do with your cut?

Laverne

I am a simple man. Couple pairs of nice shoes, 300-foot yacht. That's all I need.

Ames

You know, if you had said to me a few years back that I'd be working straight, I'd have thought you were crazy.

Laverne

If you told me ten years ago I'd be drinking with you and the rest of these crooks in here, I'd have you committed.

Ilsa

Tell me about it. Will someone pour me a drink?

Guerrero

There goes the good stuff.