Ilsa Pucci quotes from Human Target

Ilsa

My attorney has informed me that I've adopted an adult white male. When I'd laughed it off, he showed me some documentation--signed, by me.

Ilsa

You know, I thought you'd be different.

Ilsa

No.

Christopher

Younger?

Ilsa

No, braver.

Ilsa

There are a lot of smarter ways to earn a dollar.

Christopher

I'm not very bright.

Ilsa

You are brave. You must have a lot to be redeemed for.

Christopher

I do.

Ames

You know, if you had said to me a few years back that I'd be working straight, I'd have thought you were crazy.

Laverne

If you told me ten years ago I'd be drinking with you and the rest of these crooks in here, I'd have you committed.

Ilsa

Tell me about it. Will someone pour me a drink?

Guerrero

There goes the good stuff.

Ilsa

And when I asked you about rescue options, you said there weren't any.

'Christopher

Well, I meant that I couldn't think of any.

Ilsa

Well, what's the difference?

Christopher

In the interim, I may have... thought of one.

Guerrero

I only get paid in cash. I've never taken a check in my entire life. Look, men in my vocation can't afford being burnt by a paper trail. Do you know what this is? It's a license to steal. It's a map for thieves. Get your account number, they find your social. They find your social, they got you.

Ilsa

Who are they, exactly?

Guerrero

Well, uh.. me... and men of my ilk.

Ilsa

Well as I've explained to your colleagues, I'm running a legitimate business here. So take your check, deposit it in a secure banking facility, report it to the Federal government, and... wait for it... pay taxes on it.

Guerrero

Taxes?

Ilsa

Taxes.

Ilsa

You know La Traviata?

Guerrero

All right, I'm not gonna lie. If I have to sit through this baroque stuff, I prefer Rossini.

Henry Claypool.

Guerrero

What day is today?

Tuesday.

Guerrero

Are you a paranoid, bullying douche bag?

Oh, yeah.

Guerrero

Good. What's the password to your private files in your office?

Ilsa

Well, I'm sorry that I put everyone in this position. I'm sorry I didn't...

Christopher

Do you smell that?

Ilsa

What?

Christopher

It smells like crap.

Ilsa

Nice. Very nice. You know, I'm trying to make a heartfelt apology here.

Christopher

No, I mean, it smells like actual crap.

Christopher

Ilsa, I need you to tell me everything about your relationship with your husband.

Ilsa

What you're asking me to do is going to be very difficult.

Christopher

Come on, it's just me.

Ilsa

That's why it's going to be difficult.