Rene Sheppard quotes from Homicide: Life on the Street

You see this, this is what I'm talkin' about. You see this memo from the bosses?

Sheppard

Which one? We get three a day.

In an effort to maintain the pristine condition of the newly renovated squadroom, all Homicide personnel are asked not to hang personal items on the wall. This includes family photos, sports paraphernalia, and bumper stickers. Staff members are also asked not to use thumbtacks or Scotch tape to affix- and I love that word affix- any papers, schedules, or menus on said walls.

Sheppard

Let me see that. [takes memo]

How long do you think we're gonna be able to maintain this pristine condition?

Sheppard

[tacks memo to wall] Not long.

This place's gonna be a dump by Christmas.

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How the hell could Susan Dehen not know she was sleeping with her boyfriend's brother.

Well, you said they looked exactly alike, right?

Sheppard

Yeah, but in bed, there's a lot more going on than the visuals.

Sound...

Sheppard

Taste...

Smell...

Sheppard

Touch...

Cable.

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You haven't experienced the Giardello summons yet, the full force laser beam Gee-Ray; strips varnish off furniture, enamel off teeth?

Sheppard

Not yet.

You're in for a treat.

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[The squad was making a list of hip Jews, and Sammy Davis Jr. came up, although some said he was hip just because he was black]

Falsone

So you're saying all black people are hip?

Name one who ain't.

Falsone

George Washington Carver.

Michael Giardello

Please. How many things can a white man do with a peanut?

Shelled or unshelled?

Falsone

I got one. Meldrick Lewis.

Well, he is black.

Bayliss

Yep.

Michael Giardello

But not particularly hip.

Bayliss

Nope.

What you talkin' about Willis?

Sheppard

Point taken. I guess Sammy Davis goes back on the list.

No no no, hold on, let's just stop the game right here. I can be accused of a lot of things, but falling off the cutting edge is not one of 'em. Terri- am I down or am I down?

Stivers

What?

Am I hip? Tell these fools.

Stivers

Uh, you have your moments.

Moments?

Stivers

I don't know, maybe, you try too hard.

I'm not playin' no more.

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Get ready for a federal subpoena.

Sheppard

What are you talking about?

Well, they laid one on us in New York this morning. They took every bit of evidence we had on this case. I figure you folks are next.

You drove 200 miles south to tell us that? Good job, Paul Revere.

I'm on my way to Washington anyway. You got a cup of coffee?

Sheppard

What's going on there?

The Independent Counsel shanghaied Chesley Purcell's shooter. When they found out he had nothing to say about any of the President's men, they got bored with him. They're returning him to our custody, and McCoy wants me to transport him back to Rikers, put him on suicide watch.

You're telling me that Ned Burks killed Chesley Purcell over a lesbian's love lost? Yeah, and Jack Ruby was a grieving patriot.

A cancer-ridden, grieving patriot.

Lennie, you precious rube! Amazing how all those years on the mean streets of New York have had so little effect on your sweet, childlike brain.

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[last lines of the series: Lewis and Sheppard start investigating the murder of Luke Ryland.]