Helluva Boss · Season 1
[to Millie] I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. Its very simple.
Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie.
[to Loona] You sit! Sit on, a... in the... DO YOUR JOB!!!!!
Hey! now we don't blame our screwups on Loona, Okay?
[to Millie] Honey, could you get the butter?
Sure, sweetie.
Spoiler alert: The butter's spoiled. [Millie giggles]
What's funny, honey?
Really impressive wordplay.
WHAT THE--?! WHY ARE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE?!
[Moxxie wakes up to see Blitz staring him in the face]
Watcha dreamin' about?
I was dreaming my parents were being murdered. But now, I'd like to go back to that.
[singing] Of all the imps in Hell, it's for her that I fell! Oh, Millie.... [leans in to kiss Millie, then hears Biltz's camera beep] ARE YOU FUCKING FILMING US RIGHT NOW?! [camera moves to show him outside the window]
[Moxxie claims Blitz lives a lonely life; Millie tries to coerce him from angering Blitz] No, no no no, It's fine, Mills, its just your husband is, how do I say this without being offensive? Retarded.
[After hearing a graphically lewd rant from Stolas over the phone, Blitzo smashes his phone up and puts the pieces in a blender, blending it into a smoothie, which Loona immediately drinks]
Eat this, and you know that bridge over the freeway?
Yeah?
SHIT OFF IT.
[Moxxie tries to aim at a picture of the target family with a crossbow, but he's shaking too much]
Moxxie, stop shakin'. You're gonna kill our only Hellhound.
[lounging back on the couch, holding the target picture up with one hand, browsing her phone with the other; sarcastically] Wow, I feel so loved here.
Just take a deep breath...[demonstrates an inhale] and let it out.
But...it's a family! Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?
I mean, if that's what the client wants...
Maybe like a shitty dad or [in a Don Corleone-like voice] a mob family. That's understandable. [normal voice] But to eradicate an entirely innocent, seemingly innocent, upper-middle class family bloodline?!
[after a look at the picture] Hey, you don't know they're innocent. This kid probably sets dogs on fire, maybe this girl gets off to bullying Australian kids online, and this guy? This guy definitely watches.
[to a departing Mrs. Mayberry] Bye, and don't worry - we'll get that skank in less than twenty-four hours, or your first kill is free!
When did we start implementing that deal?
When you set fire to my office in front of a CLIENT, YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT!!! Now someone PLEASE tell me that fancy book is still intact!
You mean our only ticket to the other side? [holds out the Grimoire] Yeah, got it.
[fawning] And that's why you're my favourite, Loony! You get a treat now. [holds out a dog biscuit]
Eww, stop. [Blitz tosses it in the air, catches it with his tongue and eats it] You're SO gross!
[flattered] Aww, stop it, I get enough of that from my therapist. Now let's go lick some ass!
[after creating a portal] The expression is "kick some ass", Blitz. [steps through it]
Mine's better. [follows her]
[follows them, groaning] Ohh, fuck...!
[after Moxxie fails to shoot the family] What the FUCK was that, Moxxie?!
[wheezes and gasps] I'm sorry! They just seemed so wholesome and happy... I panicked!
Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie?! From the moment of birth, you're already a parasite leechin' off your momma's tits! Get the FUCK over yourself, you baby-dicked PRICK--! [Martha shoots through the wall, injuring his arm] AHH! A new hole! 'SCATTER! [they run away]
[on the phone to Blitz] I was thinking, what if we worked out some kind of exchange? Favors for favors. Doesn't that sound... enticing?
[dodging Martha's gunshots] You gotta stop using your fancy-ass rich people talk, okay?! I'm tryin' to concentrate on not getting FUCKED IN MY "A"!
[Martha tries to burn Blitz and Millie at the stake]
Satan! We return your filthy creatures to back to the pits of Hell! May the root of evil remain honoured as we continue thy work! [tosses her torch on the pyre, igniting a blaze]
[after a moment] Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady. Sorry, your fire doesn't really hurt us, but, I mean, I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard. [smirks and makes a crude gesture with his tail]
What's that you're listening to?
This song is called "My World Is Burning Down Around Me". It's by "Fuck You, Dad". [after a short pause] It's a band.
Oh. How charming...
[Stolas suggests that he and Octavia go to Loo-Loo Land]
I'd literally rather kill myself.
There we go! Anything but staying in this house. Now, I'll arrange our security.
Security for a theme park?
We're rich and we're hot. People want our money and our bodies.
Our money, maybe.
Speak for yourself, princess. Now I'm going to call the only man who can f[bleep]k me!
[cringing] What?!
[trying to cover it up] Who can protect me. Us! Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know. [Octavia groans]
[Blitz is called by Stolas]
WHAT?!
Why, hello, my big-dicked Blitzy.
[Blitz and Octavia both spit out their coffee]
WHAT...
...THE...
...FUCK...
...DAD?!
Language, everyone!
I have a question.
Well, ask away, little girlie! A-hyuk a-hyuk a-hyuk!
Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu World?
... No?
This place reeks of insecure corporate shame.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Helluva Boss pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
