TV show quotes
[introducing Jerry to Catherine] This is Jerry-- he is our special consultant.
Yeah, Roswell division.
It's nice to meet you, Jerry, I'm Catherine. Uh, why don't you guys come this way?
[whispers to Danny] She'll do.
Oh, no, no, no, listen, her, uh, boyfriend is a complete animal. You want to stay away from that one, trust me.
[Steve and Danny are watching a movie with Catherine and Gabby]
What, did I miss something? I mean, the music just went all sad.
That's because that's how the filmmakers want you to feel. Sad. See?
Well, no, this is supposed to be a romantic comedy. This is neither romantic nor funny. I don't understand what's happening.
Weddings, I tell you, every time. It's a bad idea. You got dysfunctional family members. Bunch of bitter friends. And they're all fueled by an open bar. Something terrible is bound to happen.
And you wonder why you're divorced.
[hypothesizing about cause of death] This guy and another guy, they get into a beef over, uh, I don't know, let's say they brought it to the reception. They end up back in the room here, uh, get into a little fisticuffs. Uh, this guy doesn't realize his buddy has a gun. Bang, here he is.
Interesting. Very detailed theory. I particularly enjoyed your use of the word "fisticuffs".
Let me ask you a question then. If Gabby asked you to put your career on hold and move to Denver, would you do that?
No, I wouldn't do that. But I got a daughter who lives here. It's not the same thing.
Plus you'd miss me too much.
Plus I'd miss you too much.
There you go.
[Catherine Rollins, now a private security operator, asks Steve for help in threat assessments for a Saudi diplomat she and Billy are protecting]
I don't know how I feel about allocating Five-0 resources to a private security job.
Okay. Um, remind me again how many satellites I have repositioned for you over the years. Hmm? [grins] You owe me.
[smiles] Okay, okay, okay. Relax. Come on, I'll log you in! [shows her the Five-0 screen]
[A medical orderly at the hospital comes to a room where Joe White sees Billy Harrington's corpse]
Boss said you wanted to see me.
This man's name is William Harrington. Former Lieutenant Commander, SEAL Team VII. He saw action in lraq and Afghanistan. He served his country with courage and distinction.
I'll take good care of him, sir.
I'm sure you will. I just wanted you to know who he is.
You wanna go for a ride?
Yeah, sure.
But I'm driving.
Oh, yeah, yeah, the story of my life.
[Joe calls out Danny over his habit of arguing with Steve while in the car]
Well, look, how about if I change the subject?
Danny That-that would be fine.
Steve asked me to get in touch with Doris.
Okay, well, I-I mean, that makes sense. You know, he's got questions, and she may have the answers.
Yeah, well, what I didn't tell him was I've been trying to find her for over a month. I haven't talked to her since she put Adam and Kono on that freighter that night. And the chatter is that once she left the country, old enemies came out of the woodwork.
What, she's on the run?
Or worse.
Or worse? Well, what are you gonna tell Steve?
I can't tell him anything. I don't have any confirmation. What I'm hoping is that you will tell him to stand down on this and let this go. Because we start turning over rocks, God knows what might crawl out.
Yeah, so I'll just talk to Steve. What makes you think he's gonna listen to me?
Because he trusts you. He looks at me, he sees ulterior motives. He looks at you, he just sees a friend.
Ah, okay. Well, I could tell Steve whatever you want me to tell him and he's gonna say, "Okay, sounds good," and he's gonna go off and do whatever he wants to do. And you know that. So my advice to you is, please, get confirmation on these rumors, and get the truth, and share that truth with Steve. Because you know and I know that he's not gonna stop until he gets it.
[Abby Maxwell's assistant has just been unmasked as John Cutler's killer]
You should've let me die.
Andrew, why would you do this?
I'm in love with you, Abby. I've always loved you. I just wanted you to stop. [taken away]]
Unrequited love. Second oldest motive there is.
It's a violation however you look at it. The sanctity of my home has been violated.
It's toilet paper, Danny. It's a couple of kids having fun on Halloween. What's the big deal?
The big deal is, in my opinion, this is how most decent kids turn to a life of corruption.
[looks at Danny in disbelief] Excuse me?
Yeah. TP-ing is a gateway crime. Ok? It starts with toilet paper and then next thing you know, armed robbery.
You know what, Danny, if that's the case, I really hope you catch these hardened criminals and I'm sure it's gonna be a career case for you.
You're making fun.
I'm not making fun. I'm serious.
Hey, let's go.
No...I, uh...I can't go. Can't do it. Sorry.
Can't do what?
I can't do caves or tunnels or cramped spaces, anything where I feel like a rat. I can't.
[surprised] You're claustrophobic?
A little bit. Yeah.
[looks into tunnel and then at Danny] Ok...well, uh...wait here.
Ok. I'm sorry. I just...I can't.
[shrugs it off] No...I mean, what are you gonna do right?
Thanks.
[Steve goes into the tunnel but stops and turns back.]
Hey, Danny. How did it take me four years to learn that about you?
I don't know. Maybe you don't pay such close attention to me.
Buddy, listen to me, the way I see it, Mary didn't adopt a kid; you did. All right, 'cause it's only a matter of time before that poor, unfortunate child is looking for some suckling at 3:00 a.m. It's gonna be looking to you.
No, there's gonna be no suckling, okay?
No?
'Cause that baby is going back.
Oh, you're gonna send it back, what, to the orphanage? With a bunch of other kids that nobody wants? What? Yeah, no, it's a good idea. I mean, it's probably a better idea than leaving it with your sister.
Wait a minute, I thought you didn't approve?
I don't approve.
Okay, whose side are you on then?
I'm on the side where the kid has a chance of being loved.
This morning, where were you?
Complying with the state's own constitutional invasion of my physical sovereignty.
[confused] Come again?
I was peeing in a cup for my PO.
I'll just call Child Protective Services and Joan will have to be placed in foster care for a while. I just hope that the trauma doesn't affect her cognitive development.
"Cognitive"? You don't even know what that word means.
You're a horrible uncle, you know that?
[Later, Steve walks into the Five-O headquarters with baby Joan strapped in a carrier. Danny sees him and starts laughing.]
Is this funny to you?
Yeah!
So when you're through amusing yourself, I need you to wipe down and change her pads, please.
[smirks] Not at all. I'm retired, you see. And it's gonna be way too entertaining to see Uncle Steve on diaper duty, so go ahead.
Hey, why is there a baby attached to your chest?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hawaii Five-0 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
