[to Joan] Once upon a time there was a very handsome prince. And this, uh, handsome prince had a very beautiful black stallion. And this black stallion was, uh, was admired by everybody in the kingdom. He was the fastest and fairest stallion in the land, about 528 horsepower, very nice stallion, anyway. Uh, one day, uh, this incredibly handsome prince Yeah, he was, he was out of sight, let me tell you. He was partnered up with a mean ogre. A disgusting, hairy ogre. It was not a match made in heaven. They would slay dragons together from time to time. And they'd argue all the time and, of course, the brilliant charming prince would win those arguments because the ogre was a dope. Despite their, uh, victories, there was a dark cloud that loomed. Because the dopey ogre coveted the handsome prince's stallion, okay? And he was a very greedy, selfish ogre with major control issues. And he would never let the handsome prince ride his own stallion.
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Where's my money?
Where's your money? Good news is, we got your money and your guns. Bad news is, we got your money and your guns.
This is more than a complaint, it's a problem! This is about the complete lack of accountability that allows this man's behaviour to go unchecked!
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB, CAPTAIN! Look, I have a full schedule and I don't have time to play principal! This is a small island, I expect you to play nicely together in our sandbox, understood?
Yes, sir.
Steve?
Yes, sir.
Damn it!
What's wrong?
Was I talking to you?
You have a very angry disposition, you know that?
Oh, well, maybe it's 'cause I'm with you.
[Lou is frantically holding up his cellphone hoping to get a signal]
[annoyed] Would you stop doing that? You look like a flying giraffe.
How can there be no cell reception up here?
Welcome to Waimanalo.
You know, McGarrett, I got to ask you, why is it that you are the constant variable in every pile of crap I step in?
[sarcastically] Oh, that's good; this is my fault.
I'm just calling it like I see it, man. Wherever you go, trouble follows.
That's funny coming from you.
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
You don't think I did my homework, huh? HPD hires a new SWAT commander, you don't think I'm gonna check you out? It's not every day that a 20-year vet on track to becoming superintendent up and moves to a rock in the middle of the Pacific. Unless he's running from something.
Oh, by night, he's a Navy SEAL, by day, he's a shrink.
Well, look at you. Let me see. I see a little gray fleck up there. I think it makes you look very distinguished.
[smiles] Thank you very much.
[looks down and frowns at the tattoos on Steve's biceps] The tattoos, not so much.
[Deb is buying turkey at the supermarket but is given a small one.]
That's the best you got? The runt of the litter?
Next time, plan ahead.
Oh thank you for that sage advice.
[Aunt Deb has been arrested]
Do you wanna tell me what happened?
[sheepishly] Well...I needed some grass and, uh, how was I supposed to know the guy was a narc [a HPD Narcotics officer]?
What?
I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for those fascists at the dispensary. They wouldn't take my card.
[to Catherine] You know, Steve has that "tough guy" act down pat but underneath it all he's still that vulnerable little guy who thought he lost his mom and had to grow up too soon. And Mary, she's the only one who really gets that about him because she lived it too. Once I'm gone, they're gonna need each other more than ever, even though they both won't want to admit it. They're like kids.
What the matter? You're all right?
Why wouldn't I be all right?
Well, you do seem a little nervous.
Nervous? We're about to meet the President. Why are you so zen? That's a better question. All of you.
[...]
I was nervous too, the first time.
The first time? When did you meet the President?
I can't tell you that. That's classified.
Oh, it's classified, huh? Was it during Operation Strawberry Fields?
[mumbles to himself] I've already said too much.
Look at them go! Our ever-ready servicemen enjoying a little R&R on the exotic island of Oahu, the gathering place of the Hawaiian Islands, where a veritable tropical paradise meets a bustling metropolis. But after a day of sand and surf, it's back to work for these lucky boys serving Uncle Sam on the most beautiful place on Earth. Keep up the good work, fellas! America's proud of you!
Leave before I call the cops!
Uh, sir, we are the cops.
I've never heard of "Five-O".
Ok, how about...here, I'll show you my badge again. [takes out his badge]
[indignantly] Son, are you implying I can't see or read?!
I see what's happening. You know what you're becoming, right?
But you're gonna tell me, aren't you.
A big softie.
[mutters to himself] I was right.
With a bleeding heart. Which somehow you don't have. I don't know, maybe you're becoming a human being, Steve.
[at the former site of the Honouliuli Internment Camp, ex-internee David Toriyama tries to recall memories of his father's death]
[describing place as he walks] The main guard tower was here. An American soldier sat up there behind a 30-caliber machine gun. Someone was watching our every move. This is where my mother had her garden. The ground was so sandy. She could only grow root vegetables- parsnips, carrots, radishes. And this is where she collapsed when we got the news that Kenji had been killed in Italy. Listen. Can you hear her cry? I still can. Here. Right here. This is the place. This is where we lived.
[Steve has a moment of silence facing the Arizona Memorial and sees David Toriyama behind him]
I remembered why your grandfather's picture was in our family photo album. There was this young serviceman who used to come to our house for tutoring. He and his wife were about to have another child and he wanted better for them, so he asked my father to help him prepare for an officer aptitude test. For three months, he would come over after dinner, and when he had spare time, he'd play catch with me. That man was your grandfather, Steven McGarrett. And the last time I saw him was December 6, 1941. The night he gave me this. [gives Steve a catcher's mitt; Steve tests its grip] It was a gift for my father's help. You have his heart. That's how I remembered.
Mahalo.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hawaii Five-0 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.