Danny Williams quotes from Hawaii Five-0

Danny

[about his brother, Matt] Well, be warned. Mr. Wall Street has quite a personality.

Steve

Runs in family, huh?

Danny

Disorder. Personality disorder.

Matt

You gonna shoot me, Danny?

Danny

I should shoot you. You stupid son-of-a-bitch! Laundering money for drug dealers? What the hell's the matter with you?

Steve

[to Danny] You stop for malasadas?

Danny

No.

Steve

You got evidence for a case?

Danny

Nope.

Steve

Alright, stop, stop. What's in the bag?

Danny

My, lunch, genius.

Steve

Your lunch? Okay, what'd you bring?

Danny

You got to know every detail of my life? What's it to you what my lunch is?

Steve

Cause you don't want to tell me! What, you think it's so fantastic I'm going to steal it? You fly in some deep-fried sandwich from New Jersey I'm not allowed to know about-

Danny

Salad, okay? Just a salad. That's it. There's nothing else in here. Grace has been taking a nutrition class and she is concerned about my cholesterol so I promised her I would eat better. Okay?

Steve

That's actually incredibly sweet.

Danny

Why did you not just give her your files right then and there? What is your play, please?

Steve

Must you know every detail of my life?

Danny

Hey, this is the CIA you are dealing with here, okay? They wrote the book on advanced interrogation techniques, which I am absolutely positive you have sitting on your bedside table right now, okay? Just so you know, I understand, okay? I would not mind a little one-on-one session with Jenna Kaye. The thought does stimulate my imagination, too.

Steve

Legally, the CIA can only interrogate foreign nationals.

Danny

[looks at Steve deflatedly] Why do you do that? I had a little fantasy worked out. I mean, you're, like, a devourer of dreams. You know what I mean, like, you eat them. Like a little Pac-Man in cargo pants.

Steve

[about a snow globe] Why would you steal this?

I've always wanted to go to Paris.

Steve

It's a beautiful city and if you go, you should pick yourself up a snow globe because that is Seattle.

Danny

[to Johnny] That's the Space Needle, not the Eiffel Tower, you schmuck!

Kono

"You don't find Johnny. He finds you."

Danny

You're gonna quote this schmuck now?

Kono

I can spoof Tiffany's cell and make it look like she's sending him a text.

Danny

Lure him here. I like it. But move over please. Because I'm gonna do this. Because it should be very filthy and you're a young lady.

Danny

With all due respect, what's wrong with an old fashioned baseball game, Steve? Huh?

Steve

Never been to a professional baseball game.

Danny

That doesn't surprise me at all.

Danny

This is not a hike, Steven. Your dad used to bring you up here?

Steve

Every year.

Danny

That explains a lot.

Danny

I'm gonna come down, untangle the rope and I'm going to bring it to you, alright?

Steve

Take it easy, alright? [Danny starts to climb, but stumbles] Hey, easy! I'm not going to catch your ass if you fall!

Danny

I'd rather you not catch me if I fall, okay?

Danny

[about going through a case of fish shipped to Morimoto's] Okay buddy, after you.

Steve

That's for you, babe, I can't get my cast wet. [holds up his casted arm]

Danny

That's low. That's really low. What exactly are we looking for?

Steve

We'll know when we find it. So be thorough-

Danny

Be thorough, okay.

Steve

Yeah, check every fish Danny, every fish in the box.

Danny

[glares at Steve] You're gonna pay for this. One hundred percent.

Every investigation against me has come up empty, you know why?

Steve

No, why?

Because there's nothing to find. Now, growing up in poverty and making something of yourself used to be considered a virtue in this country.

Steve

Is that Capone? [to Danny] Did he just quote Capone?

Danny

I think it was Gotti.

Steve

[to Cannon] John Gotti? Is that John Gotti?

[pause] Are you two done? 'Cause I'd like to get back to lunch with my son.

Steve

That's fair enough. You only see him once a year.

Danny

We know who Jimmy Cannon is. What we don't know is who Reggie Cole is going to be once he finds out who the leak is or if he tracks down one of the shooters.

Steve

Well, you were married, you have a daughter. What would you do?

Danny

Well I would want to just kill everybody, but I would never do that. I would not risk going to prison, I could not do that to Grace. You, forget it. I don't even want to know what you would do.

Steve

Oh, I would be by the book.

Danny

[looks at Steve in shock, facetiously] The book??

Steve

I would be by the book.

Danny

Which book would that be, I ask? The Patriot Act for Dummies? How to Nuke Your Enemies? War and Peace?...minus the peace part?

Steve

[smirks at Danny's "rant"] It's funny.

Danny

I'm going to talk to these models.

Steve

Okay, well, just stay with questions that relate to the case, all right?

Danny

What is that supposed to mean?

Steve

What it means is I know you. I'm just saying stick to the case.

Danny

[protests] Hey, hey, they're just women.

Who happen to be insanely hot and make millions of dollars.

Danny

[feigns innocence] I didn't know either of those things.

Steve

Why is a fashion photographer sending coded texts? All right...you know what? I'm going to send this to Catherine. She can have the, uh, the boys in intel run it through–

Danny

[interrupts Steve] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Steve

What?

Danny

It's not coded texts. Okay? No need for your little Ramboette. Okay, this is not your, uh, cloak and dagger spook speak. This is Danny's world.

So, Kamekona, what's this about you not wanting to pay Marcum? You play dumb? Answer me. You like getting lickins?

Danny

I'm sorry. I just overheard...did you say "lickings"? You know how difficult it is to sound like a tough guy when you use a word like "lickings"? You should try "beatings". Like, "I'm gonna give you a beating". It works, trust me, on a lot of different levels.