DannyYou just bailed on the proposal?
No, I didn't bail. I've been planning the op.
Danny
The op???
Yeah. I secured a ring. I reconned a location. Now I just got to execute.
Danny
[sarcastic] Wow. [deadpan] I mean, it just, it sounds so romantic the way you say it, you know? I mean, I could see it now...you and Catherine in matching camouflage cargo pants on some very exotic shooting range, and you get down on one knee, and you say, "Babe, I want you to join my unit for a lifelong mission." I mean, it's every girl's fairy tale.
Danny
We been walking for, like, a half a mile already.
Danny
A klick?
Yeah, a kilometer. 0.62 of a mile.
Danny
Oh, thank you, G.I. Jerk, for the pedantic, uh I know what a klick is.
I don't suppose we can just head down to campus and fingerprint all of his students?
Well, it seems to me that there's now an opening for a new economics professor at OSU, and it just so happens that one of our own minored in business at Seton Hall.
Danny
How could you possibly know that? That's not even in my personnel file.
You think I'm gonna take you on to be my partner this whole time without doing my homework?
Wait. Boss, you've been sitting on that for six years?
That means he's probably got something on all of us.
[The team is scattered in three different locations on a stakeout and are guessing (over their comms) how Steve got a black eye.]
Danny
You selfishly punched yourself in the eyeball so that I didn't get to do it. Is that right?
Danny
You know, buddy, if it's something that's, uh, embarrassing, something you don't want to share with us, you know, we understand.
[smirks] Yeah, we totally understand, Steve. The last thing we would want to do is make you uncomfortable.
Yeah. You can tell us when you're ready, boss.
[unimpressed] You guys suck at reverse psychology.
Well, then tell us the damn story, why don't you?
All right, you all know that I've been trained by the U.S. government to resist interrogation, right?
Danny
That's fine. So we'll just keep taking bad guesses, then.
What are you s–– I'm not a romantic? Is that what you're saying?
Danny
Buddy.. [clears throat] when I was, um, about 12 years old, I saw, uh, two sea lions mate at the, uh, Turtle Back Zoo in West Orange.
Danny
Yeah. And I'm pretty sure that there was more romance in that encounter than any date you've ever had in your entire life.
[Danny is having lunch with his kids Charlie and Grace, who is pouting because Danny banned all electronics.]
Danny
I don't understand, what's so good about your phone that you'd rather sit staring at your phone than having these moments with us? This is a father-daughter moment. We should cherish this.
Well, that's why I need it-- to Instagram the moment and preserve the memory.
Danny
Oh, preser–– See, 'cause, listen, when I was a kid, I didn't even have a phone, and despite this handicap, I still have vivid memories. You know, the brain does a lot of very interesting things. You know, remembering stuff is one of the things it does. You should give it a shot sometime.
Moani Rose says if it's not Instagrammed, how do you know if it happened?
Danny
Huh. Is this Moani, uh, a philosopher?
No, she's in my jazz tap class.
Danny
I see. [looks at Charlie resignedly] Charlie, I got to tell you, this entire generation-- the phone is everything. They-they sit at a restaurant, they stare at their phone. They go to a movie theater, they stare at their phone. You know, if you picked your head up out of your phone every once in a while, you might see a much bigger, better picture out here in the world.
[sees the combat suit on Danny's desk] What are you gonna do with a $80 million piece of hardware?
Danny
I'm gonna wear it.
Danny
Yeah! Because this thing is, you know, completely McGarrett-proof. It's been designed for your partner to wear.
Oh, we're doing that. Still with it? Six years. Since the day I've met you you've been telling me I'm trying to kill you.
Danny
What's your point?
What's my point? My point is it's getting old. You're very much alive! You're very much alive, which means I have your back. I've always had your back.
Danny
[after finding out Toast created the game his kids play] Let me explain something to you, my kids, Charlie and Grace, they play this game non-stop. Must have spent $100 on it just last month.
TToast
Yeah, that's the beauty of in-app purchases.
Danny
Yeah, I don't think there is anything beautiful about it. I think that it is a scam. You're ripping off children is what you're doing. I mean, you give them the app for free, and then they got to pay if they want to keep playing for the power-ups and the boosts or whatever you call it. You're like a drug dealer pushing dope. First taste is free, then they're hooked for life.
TToast
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
Danny
I hate the game, I do very much.
Hawaii Five-0 · 427 quotes
