Now everyone hold hands and squeeze your butt cheeks together.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
GGiganta
You think I care about you or your jolly green whore?
Okay, I'm standing right here.
GGiganta
I don't have time to give some review. I'm too busy getting cunnilingus from my new boyfriend Brad, who's amazing at it!
[Scoffs] Only weak men do that. [Brad uses his tongue to sculpt a statue from ice cream] Oh, fucking hell!
[Impressed] Call me.
Quick side bar. How did this [i.e. being married to Giganta] work...sexually?
Not great!
[Rides an invisible motorcycle from a skyscraper] I am a golden god!
I don't understand your obsession with the Legion of Doom. They are actual pieces of shit.
Obviously! But those pieces of shit were the only people Joker respected. I'll never match up to him unless I'm in the Legion too.
So let me get this straight: you're not over your ex, and you want to throw your success in his face.
Exactly!
Honestly, that might be the most relatable thing you've ever said.
[Looking around Batman's Batcave as she dangles from the ceiling] So this must be where you fuck the bats.
[To Harley] Can you please fire me now so I can get some unemployment?
We're gonna rob Bruce Wayne!
P1Prisoner 1
Hey, fresh fish!
P2Prisoner 2
Here, fishy, fishy, fishy!
Now fellas, look, I know it's just in fun, but WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THAT WORD?!?!
P1Prisoner 1
[sheepishly] Oh, yeah. Sorry, King...
P2Prisoner 2
Ooh, Sorry about that...
[calmly and happily] Oh. They're learning. Baby steps, right, Harley? [to the prisoners, as Ivy's vine takes him and Harley away] I WILL KILL EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS IF I HAVE TO!!!!
First of all, I care about the environment. Okay, I don't know what about that makes me a bad guy.
Yeah, says the girl who dissolved the head of Ace Chemicals in a bath of his own herbicide.
Best Earth Day ever.
You know, no one ever talks about it, but it's almost impossible to get brain out of a cape.
You fucked up, Harley.
You know, I do a lot of that, so you're going to have to be more specific.
JPJason Praxis
My cousin twice removed... completely removed.
You're not my Dad!
AAquaman
That is contrary to what she said.
[Aquaman breaks a fish tank in a fight, causing the fish to splash all over the floor]
Look! I am stomping on your fish!
AAquaman
Bane, stop it!
[Aquaman picks up as much sealife as he can]
Hey, there's a YMCA pool down the street!
AAquaman
Oh, yeah, yeah! "Just throw saltwater fish into a chlorinated pool! Water's water, I guess!" Come on! What are you, four?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Harley Quinn pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.