Richie Cunningham quotes from Happy Days

I'm not still mad because I never was mad. You ordered this meatloaf, Richard.

Richie

You're mad. You always call me "Richard" when you're mad.

Joanie

Don't feel bad. When she's mad at me, she calls me "brat."

S2 E18 Get a Job

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What's bothering you, Richard?

Richie

Nothing, Mom. Why?

Well, I always know when my children are troubled. You see, Joanie sucks her thumb, you stand holding the basketball and you don't shoot, and Chuck just sucks his thumb.

S2 E20 Fish and Fins

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[Richie studies the dedication Fonzie wants him to read out on the radio]

Richie

"To the Drysdale sisters, Beth and Jenny, from Fonzie and Sam."

Yeah.

Richie

Who's Sam?

Oh, that's me. I don't want the Drysdale sisters to know they're competing.

S2 E21 Richie's Flip Side

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Are your glands swollen?

Richie

Well, I don't go around feeling my glands.

[to Potsie] Irritability, that's another symptom! [feels behind Richie's ears] Could be swollen. Why didn't I wear rubber gloves?

S2 E22 Kiss Me Sickly

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Who's the girl?

Richie

Denise Hudson.

The one with the terrific perfume? Oh, you've got good taste.

Richie

Except she's Fonzie's girl, and I was supposed to be keeping the other guys away from her while he's gone.

Good taste and bad judgement.

S2 E22 Kiss Me Sickly

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[Ralph believes two of his teachers are having an affair]

Last week, I went into Pinney's office. He was blowing in her ear! He tried to cover up by saying he was demonstrating his perfect pitch.

Richie

You just have a suspicious mind.

My mind's not suspicious, just dirty.

S2 E23 Goin' to Chicago

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Cunningham, with that Howdy Doody face, you could only be so tough. But I'll tell you somethin'. I'll tell you somethin'. Now, with a li'l practice, there's always hope.

[brief pause, then Richie grabs a hold of Fonzie's shirt real tight]

Richie

[screams bloody murder] DON'T EVER GRAB ME AGAIN!!!!

What?!

[Richie lets go of Fonzie's shirt]

Richie

[in a pleasant tone] Just practicin'.

Well there. You see, it wasn't bad. It's not good, either. Wasn't bad. Now, listen; what you gotta do is you gotta, like, don't yell. You gotta keep it low, see? Now, make it more threatening.

Richie

[threateningly] Don't ever grab me again.

All right, now, clench your teeth.

Richie

[clenches his teeth with his lips] Don't ever grab me again.

Not your lips, your TEETH!

Richie

[clenches his teeth with his entire teeth] Don't ever grab me again.

Hey, that's good. Now, raise up your chin and look me square in the eye.

Richie

[looks up at Fonzie in the eye and clenches his teeth] Don't ever grab me again.

All right, now, saunter. Saunter!

Richie

[saunters right to the door and still clenches his teeth] Don't ever grab me again! [Vivian appears, and Richie looks up at her like the Fonz told him] Don't ever grab me again!

VVivian

[shocked] I've lost counts. Do you want, I mean, I should start over again?

Richie

[still clenches his teeth at Vivian] I mean, don't come back for another hour! [Vivian disappears, scared and shocked, and Richie smiles to show Fonzie how it works] Hey, how's that, Fonz?

[worries about Vivian] Well, I wanted her back now.

S3 E6 Richie Fights Back

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[Richie appears at the breakfast table in the kitchen]

Joanie

Hey, Rich.

Good morning, Richie. Would you like Corn Flakes for breakfast, dear?

Richie

[clenches his teeth at his mother] I never want Corn Flakes again. Oatmeal.

Well, I thought you liked Corn Fla--

Richie

[slaps the table, then screams at her] OATMEAL!!!!

I'll make oatmeal. [storms to grab a canister of "Quaker Oats" oatmeal, then looks at her son, shocked, with her hand to her heart]

[shocked, then angry] What kind of a way is that to talk to your mother?!

Richie

[sweetly] Oh, I'm sorry, Mom. Corn Flakes are OK. You see, I tried out some of the advice that the Fonz gave me the other night. And he said that if you sound tough, people listen, and it works!

Boy, I say! [to Marion, pointing to Joanie and Richie from right to left] This one with her "hi-schow" and this one yelling like King Kong! [throws his napkin on the table and storms to the door] Who could eat breakfast around here?! I'm going down to the store.

You're going nowhere. Sit down! [Howard sits right back down] And start eating, Howie! All of you, EAT! [smiles and has her thumb up] And chalk one up for the Fonz.

S3 E6 Richie Fights Back

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Fonzie (with one or both thumbs up): AAAAAAAY!

WHOA!