Alex Karev quotes from Grey's Anatomy

Alex

I think it could work.

Jo

What can?

Alex

You know, people, coworkers getting together. I mean, don't judge it from those lawyers. They don't even like each other. Look at Grey and Shepherd. I mean, they tried to avoid it, but it was like fate or whatever. They had to be together. It was just right, you know?

Jo

That's beautiful.

Oh, you wanna be my friend now?

Alex

Me? Nah. I got enough friends. Cristina Yang, she's my friend. She owns the hospital. Derek Shepherd, owns the hospital. Meredith Grey, her name's on the friggin' door. And these are my friends. And they don't like a guy who hits his girlfriend. Neither do I.

She attacked me. What was I supposed to do?

Alex

You're supposed to take it. A girl hits you, you take it, or you walk away.

Meredith

You really should get your locks changed.

Alex

What are you doing here?

Meredith

I need to talk to Alex. Wilson, get out of the bed. I can't get in the bed with you in there.

Jo

You can't kick me out of bed!

Meredith

It's my house.

Alex

No, it's my house!

Meredith

Then you kick her out.

Jo

I'm not wearing any...

Meredith

I don't care about your boobs, Wilson. Out.

Jo

I guess I'll go make us some coffee since I'm up.

Meredith

Coffee would be great!

Alex

This is not our thing now, okay? You can't just start showing up at all hours and... I mean, this is not what we do.

Meredith

I told Derek I am not moving to D.C. The children and I are staying here.

Alex

All right, the miracle is over.

Meredith

The miracle is not over. We're not a miracle. Shut up.

Alex

You can't break into my house and wake me up to talk and then tell me to shut up!

Alex

Grab your stuff. We're drinking.

Meredith

Oh, I... I can't. I have to go home and deal with...

Alex

Fight with Shepherd? I think you need to whine about it some more to me first. You definitely need to drink.

Meredith

What are you afraid of, that I'm gonna...

Alex

I'm afraid you're gonna keep crawling in my bed in the middle of the night. Look, Yang left me her shares and her board seat and she left me you, too. It's just us now. I don't know... if you need somebody to bitch to or just be...

Meredith

My person.

Alex

I don't know what you mean.

Meredith

But you do.

Meredith

I just don't know if my marriage can survive this.

Meredith

She's, like, psycho, like a stalker. I'm being stalked. Alex, this is criminal. I mean, you... What's your problem?

Alex

Get out! I'm naked here!

Meredith

Okay, so what? I've seen it before! No big deal! I'm in crisis! Okay, fine. It's... Your junk is spectacular. Jo is a very lucky girl.

Alex

Look, I told you it's your house, too.

Jo

Yeah, apparently, you say that to all the girls.

Alex

Listen, that house was always open. Even when Mer hated me, I could be there. People went through their crap, they needed a place to be, they came there. You should understand that more than anybody. And as long as I'm the... It stays open, all right?

Jo

All right.

Alex

And come on. You in my bed and Meredith in my bed are two really different things.

Jo

They better be.

Meredith

Hey! I texted you.

Alex

Yeah, I saw that. I was busy.

Meredith

Well, Cristina would've responded. That's not how it works.

Alex

Not if she was doing what I was doing.

Meredith

You pause. That's the rule.

Alex

What?

Meredith

If the text is urgent, Cristina would say to Owen, "pause," and I would say to Derek, "pause," then we'd text each other back.

Alex

In the middle of sex?

Meredith

If the the text is urgent.

Alex

The fact you are checking a text while you're doing it is already sad.

Meredith

We had a special ringtone. Hey, you want a special ringtone?

Alex

No. Wait, this pause thing... Like, your legs are in the air and you're screaming and...

Meredith

Pause.

Alex

No, I don't pause. Jo doesn't pause. She fast-forwards and she rewinds, but she doesn't pause.

Meredith

Okay, that's gross.

Alex

Hey, uh, did Yang ever watch Meredith's kids? (sees Owen's face) See, I knew it. Mer's full of crap. I don't have to babysit for her.

Owen

No, no, she did. Cristina would take Zola. She'd take her home. And then when the diaper blew out, she'd hold her up to me like a bag of medical waste. Cristina would study. She'd eat all of Zola's snacks. And I would be the one down on the floor playing with blocks, so yes and no.

Alex

What are you doing this weekend?

Owen

I'd do it for Cristina, I'm not doing it for you.

Meredith

I have an entire world to manage, all on my own. My world does not and should not revolve around Derek Shepherd. I wanted to go to D.C. this weekend, but I'm a busy surgeon with two kids at home, and he's at the N.I.H. So right now, we're just going to have to accept that this is the way our lives work. But that doesn't mean we're not happy.

Alex

All right, fine. You have a happy marriage. With no husband in it.

Meredith

I don't need Derek. I don't need him in my house. I obviously don't need him to prove I can have 89 good outcomes in a row. I'm doing great. My kids are happy. My career is soaring. Derek going to D.C. did exactly what it was supposed to do, which is remind me of who I am outside of my marriage, which, by the way, I'm kind of amazing.

Alex

Okay.

Meredith

But that doesn't mean that I don't want to share it with him. I want to tell him that I'm... We're on a streak.

Meredith

I called Derek.

Alex

I'm laying here. I'm sleeping.

Meredith

A woman answered his phone.

Alex

There are two empty beds. Pick one.

Maggie

One empty bed. I'm up here. A woman answered his phone?

Alex

Whose phone?

Meredith

Derek's phone.

Maggie

What kind of woman?

Alex

Doesn't matter.

Meredith

It matters.

Maggie

It matters.

Meredith

She was perky, and she sounded happy and tall, with a lot of great hair.

Alex

Hold. You saw her? How did you see her?

Meredith

I didn't. I heard her voice, her perky, happy, tall voice.

Maggie

I hate voices like that.

Alex

You can tell by the voice?

Maggie

What did Derek say?

Meredith

I didn't talk to him. Now I keep going to voice-mail. My short, twisty, mad voice keeps going to voice-mail.

Meredith

He left Addison when the marriage got hard, moved to Seattle, met me in a bar. What if he's doing the same thing now?

Callie

(to Alex) Say something.

Alex

Look, I've watched you two suck face for years. You've disgusted me for a long, long time. He's into you. And if a guy's still into you, it still means he wants to do you. And if he still wants to do you, you're solid.

Maggie

I don't know you as well as everyone else here, but I really need to tell you to stop talking now.

Alex

Didn't want to say anything in the first place.

Callie

Mer, I lived down the hall from you guys. I've heard the sex noises. I've seen the drama and the tears. And there's no way that Derek's... Look, you and Derek are living proof that love exists, that it works, that there is hope. You guys are a freaking romance novel. And I, for one, am rooting for you two. Team MerDer!

Alex

I'm not saying that.

Meredith

I'm mad at you.

Alex

No, you're not.

Meredith

I am.

Alex

No, you're mad at Derek. You want to take it out on me, go on. You want to yell and hit and scream 'cause things are hard at home, okay. You want to be a mess, be a mess. I don't care. I can take it.

Callie

This place is run by ladies. It's lady place.

Maggie

No, it's not lady place. Lady place is what my grandmother calls her vagina. To anyone who will listen, by the way. She is not shy. No, we can't call this place lady place. I don't need to think of that sweet, sweet, raunchy, old lady's vag every time I walk through the doors.

Alex

Me neither, but I will now.