Alex Karev quotes from Grey's Anatomy

Jackson

What's this?

Alex

What's this? It's your kid, your African kid.

Cristina

Oh, that's happening?

Jackson

Today?

Alex

Tonight. The first group gets here tonight. I've been telling you this all week. Look, each of you gets your own kid. Some of them will be traveling with family, a few of them are orphans, so you are in charge of your kid, alright? You're like their ambassador. [hands a folder to Cristina, but takes it back] Wait, you can't have her. You'd be awful to her. [Lexie laughs] Okay, him. [hands her another folder] No. Yes, him.

Lexie Grey

He's melting down.

Jackson

Trainwreck.

Cristina

Evil spawn is now Mother Teresa.

April

You know Sam's wife took care of him after his last two surgeries, she died of a stroke last year. His son Jason dropped out of college one semester before graduating and he was--

Alex

What the hell, Kepner. Why are you telling me this?

April

Talking to patients is your job, Alex. Because they're more than just... an easy A or something that you can win. It's your job.

Alex

No, it's not. Not anymore. My job is to open him up and to fix him. And if I can't do it, no one's gonna do it for me. It's on me. So I can spend time talking to him or I can use that time figuring out what I'm gonna do after I open him up. Which one do you want me to do?

April

You're really nervous. That's why you didn't wanna work on a kid today. Look, you'll be fine. You're ready. I mean, you feel ready, right? [Alex nods]

Webber

I am thoroughly enjoying this book, Karev.

Alex

That's great.

Webber

Hopefully I'll finish it in there. Because as long as I'm reading it means that you're not screwing up. Will I finish this book today?

Alex

Yes, sir.

Derek

[voiceover] There are distinct differences, between male and female brains.

Webber

[voiceover] Female brains have a larger hippocampus...which usually makes them better at retention and memory.

Alex

[voiceover] Male brains have a bigger parietal cortex, which helps when fending off an attack.

Jackson

[voiceover] Male brains confront challenges differently than female brains.

Mark

[voiceover] Women are hardwired to communicate with language. Detail. Empathy. Men, not so much.

Owen

[voiceover] It doesn't mean we're any less capable of emotion.

Derek

[voiceover] We can talk about our feelings. It's just that, most of the time, we'd really rather not.

April

Okay, I get that you like to put your dirty clothes in my laundry because, frankly, if you didn't you'd never have any clean clothes. Fine. I will wash your dirty underpants. But you know what? I am not okay with washing your "skank of the week's" dirty underpants.

Jackson

Actually those are Lexie's, thank you.

April

Oh, she w...

Jackson

Oh yeah.

April

Okay, never mind. [Leaves]

Jackson

Not Lexie's.

Alex

Nope. Lauren, third floor, radiology.

Jackson

Oh, nice.

Alex

[voiceover] People say 'be a man.' People say it all the time.

Owen

[voiceover] But what does that even mean?

Webber

[voiceover] Is it about strength?

Owen

[voiceover] Is it about sacrifice?

Jackson

[voiceover] Is it about winning?

Mark

[voiceover] Maybe it's simpler than that.

Derek

[voiceover] You have to know when not to man up. Sometimes it takes a real man to set his ego aside, admit defeat, and simply start all over again.

Owen

I just want to say how proud I am of all of you. You are an incredible team.

Cristina

[to Bailey] Now who's drunk?

Owen

I've watched you work together, solve problems together, I've watched you teach each other and learn from each other. You step up when you need to and you... you do more than anyone asks you to. You're the finest team I've ever been a part of.

Mark

Oh, my God.

Alex

Sad.

Webber

Beautiful.

Callie

You don't think we have a shot at winning this.

Owen

What this? This. No, no, we're screwed. You are all horrible at softball but... [they all laugh] As doctors, you're pretty great and I'm proud to just to get to lead you. And you're all here so I just... I just wanted to tell you. But, now, we're going down. But what do you say we go down fighting? [they all cheer]

Alex

What the hell is wrong with me?

Miranda

I just lost my job. Do you see me crying? I have no earthly idea what to do next, but am I hiding in an elevator, whimpering about it?

Alex

No.

Miranda

No. Because what do we say, Alex? What do we say? "We create our own destiny."

Meredith

You guys studying for the oral boards in the middle of the day?

April

It's just another benefit of having a study buddy. You should get one.

Meredith

I have one. It's just that my stupid study buddy's too busy trying to save her stupid marriage to actually help me study.

Alex

Well, you know what's better than a study buddy? A study lackey. Check it. [to intern] Hey, you. [whistles] Brown-haired girl, you're up.

[walks up] Uh, trauma incident or a surgical situation?

April

You made your interns come up with study questions?

Alex

[to Morgan] Surprise me.

Lexie

I can't wait to get back to neuro. At least with lost causes, you know where you stand, and the patients can tell you when they have had enough. I don't know how Morgan can bear it. I don't know how any of you can.

Alex

Come here. (shows her pictures of preemies on a wall) Jolene Joramo, one pound, four ounces at birth. She's 12 years old now. She's a goalie. Uh... Benji Gellerman, one pound, two ounces at birth. He's 9 years old, plays the trumpet. This one, Hannah Slavin? I worked on her myself. She looked like a hamster when she came out. Her dad just called, said she took her first steps. Some of them survive.

Cristina

Aw, Karev. Is this hard for you, having to beg for interviews while some of us just sit back and get wooed?

Alex

No one is begging.

April

Oh, yeah, maybe you should. Maybe that way, you'd actually get an interview.

Cristina

Ha! I love mean Kepner.

Alex

I got an interview.

April

Oh, really, where?

Alex

At... places.

Alex

Hopkins!

Cristina

Uh, Hopkins is not in the running.

Alex

Not for you, for me! Hopkins! Hopkins wants me, HOPKINS WANTS ME!

Cristina

Johns Hopkins? The hospital? Not Hopkins Refrigeration School?

Meredith

[at the same time] Alex, how?

Alex

I kind of bitched out their Chief of Surgery at my boards and I-I guess he was impressed.

Cristina

So they know you're a jerk.

Alex

They totally know, And they want me. Hopkins wants me!

Meredith

[smiling] I am not surprised at all.

Cristina

I am one-hundred percent surprised.

Cristina

Hey.

Cristina

[gives Karev a hug] Nice work, Evil Spawn.

Alex

[Smiles and turns and walks away happily] Yes! Hopkins!

Webber

Hopkins didn't pull the offer, did they?

Alex

They, uh, gave me the international rotation and the moving expenses, and they took care of, uh, all my loans-- college, med school.

Webber

Yes.

Alex

They're even throwing in a mortgage allowance. I could buy a house.

Webber

Good.

Alex

They gave me everything I asked for. So did Hunt.

Webber

Then... why the hell aren't you celebrating?

Alex

No one's ever wanted me like this.

Webber

You just don't recognize the view, Karev...The crowd going wild, people taking pictures, the snap of the tape as you break it.

Alex

What are you talking about?

Webber

What it looks like when you finish first.

Bailey

Does my nickname command respect? [Jackson and Alex turn towards her]

Webber

No.

Bailey

Strike fear in the hearts of residents?

Webber

No.

Bailey

Well, what is it?

Webber

You've been... happy. And the interns noticed that your happiness often coincides with the arrival of... of Dr. Warren. And that's all I'm saying!

Bailey

Oh! Oh! Come on now! You have to tell me!

Webber

No. I can't! I'm a gentleman. And also... I don't wanna! [Jackson laughs. Bailey looks at both of them quickly]

Bailey

Wh... wh... oh, come on! [Alex turns towards her]

Alex

OK, I'm gonna tell you this because I'm literally about to walk out of this hospital forever. [Webber keeps shaking his head towards him] Your nickname is B.C.B.

Bailey

B.C.B.?

Alex

Booty Call Bailey. [Bailey looks at him shocked] That's what they call you.

Alex

I didn't stay to nail the freshmen.

Meredith

I know. You stayed for Robbins.

Alex

Yeah, and you know what she told me? That I'm a nobody. That I have no one. She told me that I have nothing to show for my life. I want your house, Mer, 'cause... I don't know why. I just... I just do.

Meredith

The chips on the ceiling are from the first Christmas tree we got intern year. You wouldn't know that, because we didn't like you then. And the burn marks on the hardwoods are from flame shots from that stupid party Izzie threw. And the scratch marks on the doorjamb in the study are Zola's height marks since she could stand, and the ones on the other side are from me when I was little. I grew up there, Alex. It's hard for me to change things. And you grew up there, too. So before you go trying to change everything about yourself, you got yourself this far. And you're fine the way you are, and so is the house. So I'm not changing anything. You can, if you want, but I won't.

Jo

Brand ambassador? What does that even mean? You get to wear a funny hat and cut things with oversized scissors?

Alex

All I know is, Cahill creeps me out.

Jo

That creeps me out. Who comes over to somebody else's house and starts sucking face?

Alex

You invited 'em.

Jo

What's that?

Alex

We are directly underneath Yang's room and Owen's visiting. What do you think?

Jo

[looks grossed out] Oh. Is that him or her?