Maggie quotes from Grey's Anatomy

Maggie

[opening voice over] I love puzzles. Since I was a kid. My record for the Friday New York Times crosswords is 11 minutes, when I was 13. I'm still trying to beat that. Okay, that sounds braggy. I just mean, once I pick a puzzle up, I can't put it down until it's solved. I think puzzles are why I went into medicine. That's what most of medicine is. Gather all available information, assess the problem, you focus your attention, and you solve the puzzle. People are a harder puzzle. There's never one right answer and you never have all of the information.

Maggie

[ending voice over] Most puzzles come down to one last piece of information missing. Whether it's the answer to a medical mystery, it all comes down to that last piece. That's why the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle is so satisfying to place. Unless of course, the piece doesn't quite fit. That can make you wish you never opened the puzzle in the first place.

Maggie

My mother wouldn't let me pierce my ears until I was ten. She told me masturbating made Jesus cry, and nail polish was for prostitutes. Now she wants stripper boobs?

Maggie

Where’s the liver? I lost the liver! Have you seen it? It’s... it’s liver shaped.

Maggie

You have a genome lab here?

Jo

We did. The board just voted...

Miranda

We do, and I still have a set of keys. And if the board has a problem with that, you have them come talk to me, and I'll tell them what hole they can push that through!

Maggie

Was she bringing the thunder or did we just piss her off?

Jo

Dr. Bailey doesn't need to bring anything. She is the thunder.

Richard

Amelia Shepherd, do you know Dr. Maggie Pierce?

Maggie

Weird, you're the second Dr. Shepherd I've met today.

Amelia

Derek is my brother.

Maggie

: I'm sorry. Is everyone in this room somehow related?

Amelia

I'm gonna leave you two alone. Nice meeting you.

Owen

Dr. Pierce, Dr. Bailey told me you ordered an exome panel for her patient.

Miranda

They caught me. And I threw you under the bus. Sorry.

Jackson

Yeah, Dr. Bailey's genome-research program has been discontinued.

Maggie

You know, I heard that. And I have to say, I think it's stupid. Genome mapping is like getting the answers in the back of the book. It is the key to so many medical solutions. Closing that program makes your board look like a bunch of morons.

Miranda

Have you met Dr. Avery?

Maggie

Yeah, plastics, right?

Owen

Dr. Avery is also a voting member on the board.

Maggie

Of course you are.

Meredith

He's gone, and I know he's gone. And the bed feels lonely. It's like I don't know how to sleep alone.

Amelia

You don't. I mean, before three months ago, any time I called your house or came over or skyped or whatever, Cristina was there. There's no way you ever slept alone. I mean, you had Derek. And if you didn't have Derek, you had Cristina. I'm guessing if it came down to it, you were, like, the middle spoon in the middle of a very weird spooning situation. I've never met a less alone person than you u...

Meredith

Used to be. I have to learn to sleep alone.

Miranda

Ben snores. And he sometimes talks in his sleep. And he's hot. Like a furnace. Like flames shootin' out of him. He's lucky I love him. And he's a resident and hardly home at night. Or he'd be dead.

Amelia

I miss sleeping with a man in my bed. You know, facing away from each other, barely touching expect for just the arm thrown over your waist. When I'd wake up at night, terrified of... me, I liked knowing he was there and I wasn't by myself.

Maggie

I cannot sleep with someone lying next to me. Literally cannot. My one serious guy? Dean. Dean just loved to spoon and snuggle, and I would just lie there, staring up silently, counting the seconds until he would fall asleep and I could sneak off to sleep on the sofa. And then I'd sneak back into bed before he woke up in the morning. Yeah, people think that's a cute story. It's not a cute story. That sofa was hard as a rock. I was exhausted. Dean is a really sweet guy. He's tall and kind. Civil rights lawyer. He's funny. So when he proposed, I explained to him about the sleeping. I said, "you know, maybe you could sleep in a room down the hall." I wanted to sleep alone.

Amelia

And what happened?

Maggie

Well, he is now married to someone who loves to spoon and snuggle. And I sleep like a baby every night. I might be too good at being alone.

Meredith

Maybe I could print a Derek. Just for sleeping.

Meredith

I called Derek.

Alex

I'm laying here. I'm sleeping.

Meredith

A woman answered his phone.

Alex

There are two empty beds. Pick one.

Maggie

One empty bed. I'm up here. A woman answered his phone?

Alex

Whose phone?

Meredith

Derek's phone.

Maggie

What kind of woman?

Alex

Doesn't matter.

Meredith

It matters.

Maggie

It matters.

Meredith

She was perky, and she sounded happy and tall, with a lot of great hair.

Alex

Hold. You saw her? How did you see her?

Meredith

I didn't. I heard her voice, her perky, happy, tall voice.

Maggie

I hate voices like that.

Alex

You can tell by the voice?

Maggie

What did Derek say?

Meredith

I didn't talk to him. Now I keep going to voice-mail. My short, twisty, mad voice keeps going to voice-mail.

Meredith

He left Addison when the marriage got hard, moved to Seattle, met me in a bar. What if he's doing the same thing now?

Callie

(to Alex) Say something.

Alex

Look, I've watched you two suck face for years. You've disgusted me for a long, long time. He's into you. And if a guy's still into you, it still means he wants to do you. And if he still wants to do you, you're solid.

Maggie

I don't know you as well as everyone else here, but I really need to tell you to stop talking now.

Alex

Didn't want to say anything in the first place.

Meredith

You know those very happy, cheerful people who have everything and when the fact that they have everything comes up, they act very humble and they say, "I'm just so blessed." Those people... you want to punch those people in the face.

Maggie

Yes. I do know those people.

Meredith

Yeah, I'm one of those people now.

Maggie

Okay.

Meredith

This morning, I was standing on my porch of my perfect house looking in the window at my amazing, perfect children and my amazing, gorgeous husband, on the way to my amazing job. And I thought to myself, "I have everything I've ever wanted. I am just so blessed."

Maggie

I really wanna pummel your face in right now.

Meredith

Right, I would beat myself up. Except I'm too tired from...

Maggie

Were you about to say that you're exhausted from all the great sex you're having?

Meredith

I am just so blessed.

Maggie

I'm gonna walk away from you now.

Maggie

My parents are getting a divorce. My mom called and told me today. She's been having an affair with the man that services their cars... For 11 years. He's been servicing their cars and my mom. And my dad found out about it years ago, and he was enraged, and he stuck with it for me, because I was... I was still in town. I was always around. You know, so they held it together for the kid. Classic. Except the kid's a grown woman. They wanted to preserve my... happy, idyllic... pathetic, crap-filled lie of a childhood!

Meredith

Why didn't you tell me?

Maggie

I... Your husband died, and I am crying like a 7-year-old over mommy and daddy. I... I didn't grow up like you. I... I've never lost anyone. I never even had a cat die. I still have all my grandparents. There's no darkness in my life. Just, I've never had it. So I-I'm not gonna come talk to you about it.

Meredith

Well, you should always come talk to me... Because whatever it is, chances are, I've seen worse, and I am qualified to tell you how you'll survive. You should always come and talk to me.

Meredith

Derek would have loved this. He came from this big, noisy family. I want this to be my last memory of this house. That's what he wanted, to fill it with noise and people. Okay. We have to dance it out.

Amelia

What?

Maggie

What does that mean?

Meredith

Let's go.

You have some nerve coming here.

Bethany...

Maggie

Mrs. Tanner, I would like to apologize. I was totally out of line before.

To think I trusted you to treat my daughter.

Bethany!

I am suing you, and everyone else we have met in this god-forsaken...

Bethany, shut up! No one is suing. No one is pressing charges. The person who should be apologizing is you! We almost lost our child today! She almost died! We are not sending Jess away! This stops now. Do you hear me? It stops now!

Steven, what are you saying?

This stops, or I am gone. I will leave, and I will take Jess with me, and you will never see her again! I don't care if she’s gay! I care if she's loved. I care if she's happy. And that is what you should care about! What is wrong with you that you don't?!

Callie

This place is run by ladies. It's lady place.

Maggie

No, it's not lady place. Lady place is what my grandmother calls her vagina. To anyone who will listen, by the way. She is not shy. No, we can't call this place lady place. I don't need to think of that sweet, sweet, raunchy, old lady's vag every time I walk through the doors.

Alex

Me neither, but I will now.