Mark Sloan quotes from Grey's Anatomy

Mark

If you'd had the baby, we'd be together in New York right now; it wouldn't be raining and even if it was, we wouldn't care because we'd be together. We'd be together. And I'd have a family instead of walking pneumonia and an ex-best friend who hates me.

Mark

Don't make this my fault. You didn't want a baby.

Mark

[to Avery] It's actually why we are people but somehow we forget that all that matters is people.And whether we walk away leaving them better or worse for having met us. We control that Avery. I want you to promise me something. if you love someone, tell 'em. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing, even if you are scared that it'll cause problems, even if you are scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and say it out loud. And then you go from there.

Meredith

[to George] Oh, oh, on the table, keep me draped. Too many people have seen me naked already. I'd like to keep whatever dignity I have left. [sees Mark] McSteamy. McSteamy! Yoo hoo!

Mark

That's what you're calling me now? McSteamy?

Meredith

Yeah, but I don't think you're supposed to know that.

Mark

How's my favorite dirty mistress?

Meredith

Haven't you heard? Now I'm an adulterous whore!

Mark

She told you. [Derek ignores him] I've known you my whole life, I grew up with you so I know what you're thinking. That there is a year of your life wasted. Trying to make it work with Addison and you could have been with Meredith. That you could be happy right now. That all this, everything. That you and Meredith could have had a real chance. Still, I thought you should know the truth. Thought I owed you that, as a friend.

Derek

You're not my friend.

What are you doing here, Mark? Are you trying to torture him?

Mark

He's my family, Nancy. Plus I needed a change of pace. [Nancy gives him an unconvinced look] Plus I slept with my tennis partner's wife and he went out and bought a gun.

There it is.

Meredith

Okay, before you start, there are rules to this friendship thing or whatever.

Mark

The Dirty Mistresses Club has rules? Gosh, you'd think a bunch of dirty mistresses would... be a little less uptight about things like rules.

Meredith

Number one, no flirting. Second, no talking about Derek and C, no giving me the face.

Mark

The face?

Meredith

The McSteamy face. Doesn't work on me. I'm immune.

Mark

You know, if I'd gone off to the woods, I would've invited you to keep me warm.

Meredith

Breaking rules 1, 2 and 3.

Mark

There you are! What, did you go all the way to New York for my pastrami?

Alex

Extra spicy, extra lettuce, light on the mayo.

Addison

Mark, what are you doing?

Mark

Lunch. Want my pickle?

Addison

Seattle Grace is a teaching hospital, part of your job is to teach, your interns aren't your slaves.

Mark

Fine, no pickle for you!

Derek

It'd be nice if every love triangle could be fixed with a scalpel.

Mark

If they could, you'd have stabbed me with a ten blade a long time ago.

Mark

Aren't you gonna get in there? If you wanna be chief, you gotta fight with the big boys.

Addison

Oh, I intend to fight like a girl. I'll let them kill each other and then I'll be the only one left standing.

Derek

What's different?

Webber

Nothing.

Addison

Leave him be.

Derek

What happened to your hair?

Webber

Nothing.

Derek

Mm-hmm.

Derek

[whispers to Addison] See. Look. Watch.

Burke

What happened to your hair?

Addison

Ahem. Leave him be.

Mark

He dyed it.

Derek

But why? [Addison smacks him with a magazine] Ow!

Addison

[hisses at Derek] Leave him be.

Derek

[whispers] What are you doing?!

Addison

What?

Burke

[looks back at Richard] OK, but why?

Richard

Men who have gray hair are noticed less than men who don't.

Derek

By who?

Richard

Well...

Burke

By the ladies?

Derek

It looks good, chief.

Burke

Very natural.

Mark

Ladies will love it.

Addison

[to the guys] He is alone. All alone. Do any of you even know what that's like? [looks at Burke] Lives with Cristina. [looks at Derek] Dates the perfect twelve-year-old. [looks at Mark] Man whore! His wife left him after 25 years of marriage. So if the man wants to dye his hair for the ladies, let him dye his hair for the ladies. Leave him be.

Webber

What's the news?

Mark

Shepherd and Grey are on the rocks, Burke and Yang got engaged... you need highlights, in your hair, that's why it looks so odd. I'm gonna go save lives.

Addison

This is what you invited me to? This is your big bachelor party?

Derek

It was last minute, I needed some more bodies.

Mark

Which would explain why I'm here.

Addison

Why am I the only girl, by the way? What am I, the entertainment? I am not stripping.

Derek

[referring to himself and Mark] That's okay, we've seen it already.

Mark

True.

Burke

I haven't.

Derek

You're a lucky man, Burke. Cristina's great. She's there. She's sure. She's willing to commit. You're a lucky man.

Burke

And you're not?

Mark

There he is. T minus five hours. And how's the best man? Up to the challenge? I was an excellent best man.

Derek

[scoffs, looks at Burke] Worst case scenario, I sleep with your wife in ten years.

Mark

I really am up for a drink, you know if you, uh, need to talk.

Derek

What would I need to talk about?

Mark

Meredith. You were lucky, man. That girl jerked you around.

Derek

You have no idea what you're talking about.

Mark

Hey, I'm just... seem like you can use a friend about now.

Derek

Meredith's mother never wanted her and her father was never man enough to hang around. She has a right to be damaged and us, together? It's a big step for her. Her best friend gets left at the altar, and all she sees now is things like this, they don't work. She panics. She wants this, but she doesn't know how to have it. And you know what? That's not her fault. So don't ever talk to me about Meredith Grey again because you do not know what you are talking about. And I don't want a friend.

Mark

Let me guess, you and Meredith are back together and you've been up all night doing the horizontal salsa.

Derek

Mambo. Horizontal mambo. Meredith and I, we're just friends.

Mark

Sexy friends.

Derek

You're like the worst, most juvenile human being I've ever met in my life.

Mark

You know the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem?

Derek

How many nurses have you slept with this week?

Mark

That's not a problem, man. That's an adventure.