[voiceover] You work, you study, you prepare… months and years leading to a day, the day when you step up. On that day, you have to be ready for anything. But there’s one thing you can never quite prepare for… the day when you step down.
“Take the Lead” · Season 8, Episode 3
In this episode: Meredith Grey (3), Derek Shepherd (1), Alex Karev (1), Richard Webber (1), Arizona Robbins (1), April Kepner (1), Jackson Avery (1)
You did it again today in the OR.
What? I had a successful surgery today.
You refused to listen to me.
I didn't listen to you because I didn't need to listen to you. I knew what I was doing and I was right. You just couldn’t trust me.
Why should I ever trust you? Why should I trust you? You ended my trial, you set back my career, you nearly ended your own, you destroyed Richard’s. I have no reason to trust you!
Well, then, why are you with me?
[points to its post-it] Because of that! Because I meant that! I promised I wouldn’t run. I promised I would love you.
Even when you hate me.
Even when I hate you. I’m trying, Meredith. I’m trying, but you make it so damn hard.
I understand, and I don’t want you to keep the promise, not if you don’t want to, and not if you can’t trust me with our daughter.
I do, I trust you with Zola.
Well, you just said—
That’s not what I said. I know that you took her to protect her, I know you altered the trial for Adele and for Richard. You stood in front of a bullet for me. I know why you do all of it. It’s what I love about you.
And what you hate about me.
Yeah!
You know, you have a kid and your worry a lot about screwing them up. Like something you do or say, or something you don't say will change 'em forever.
Yes ma'am.
I was just thinking, you're totally determining the course of this kid's life. You will determine whether or not this kid gets made fun of for his looks or if he cries when he looks at his school picture every year. And today you will decide who goes to prom with, and who he will marry, I mean if he gets married at all. If he dies all alone, unattractive and unloved. Did you want me to call Sloan?
You know Sam's wife took care of him after his last two surgeries, she died of a stroke last year. His son Jason dropped out of college one semester before graduating and he was--
What the hell, Kepner. Why are you telling me this?
Talking to patients is your job, Alex. Because they're more than just... an easy A or something that you can win. It's your job.
No, it's not. Not anymore. My job is to open him up and to fix him. And if I can't do it, no one's gonna do it for me. It's on me. So I can spend time talking to him or I can use that time figuring out what I'm gonna do after I open him up. Which one do you want me to do?
You're really nervous. That's why you didn't wanna work on a kid today. Look, you'll be fine. You're ready. I mean, you feel ready, right? [Alex nods]
I am thoroughly enjoying this book, Karev.
That's great.
Hopefully I'll finish it in there. Because as long as I'm reading it means that you're not screwing up. Will I finish this book today?
Yes, sir.
[voiceover] Sometimes it happens in an instance. We step up, we see a path forward. We see a path and we take it. Even when we have no idea where we're going.
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