Meredith Grey quotes from Grey's Anatomy

Cristina

[to new interns] I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up. I already hate you, that's not gonna change.

Izzie

Traumas protocol, phone lists, pagers. The nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run. That's rule number two. [notices the interns are not following her] You're supposed to follow me.

Alex

The first shift starts now and lasts 36 hours. You're grunts, nobodies, the bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders, and you work every second night until you drop. And you don't complain.

Meredith

On call rooms. Sleep when you can, where you can. You know, but not with anybody. Not attendings, especially not attendings. Sleeping with attendings, not a good idea. Where was I?

George

Er, rule number three. If you're sleeping, do not wake you unless the patient's actually dying.

Cristina

The dying patient better not be dead when I get there, because not only will you have killed someone, you will have woken me for no good reason. Are we clear? [Lexie raises her hand] Yes?

Lexie

That was four rules. You said five.

Cristina

Rule number five. When I move, you move. [awkward pause as nobody moves] Go! [Cristina's interns scramble off]

Meredith

I...um...

Derek

You're not ready for this.

Meredith

No.

Derek

I asked for too much.

Meredith

I think so.

Derek

So, this is it?

Meredith

Yeah.

Derek

We're breaking up?

Meredith

We're breaking up.

Derek

[Walks to Meredith] We're broken up.

Meredith

It's done.

Derek

Break-up kiss.

Meredith

Break-up kiss.

Derek

[Removes his jacket] And some break-up sex.

Meredith

Yeah, break-up sex.

Cristina

Here I am stuck in the pit with those know-nothing interns. You think eventually I catch a break.

Meredith

Cristina, are we ever gonna talk about this? The Burke thing?

Cristina

I'm not Izzie. I'm not gonna lie at the bathroom floor all day. I'm gonna lie here... on the counter.

Meredith

I'll trade you the hemiglossectomy.

Cristina

What?

Meredith

You take the hemiglossectomy and I will take the ER and your interns.

Cristina

Are you sure?

Meredith

Take the surgery. If it makes you feel better, you're starting to freak me out. [Meredith leaves]

Alex

I saw the whole thing, Yang. You can stop pretending.

Cristina

Oh, I'm not pretending. I'm sad. I'm very sad. [makes a childish voice] Me so sad.

Alex

Maybe I should try it. See if I can get Grey to take my new intern.

Cristina

Hey, forget it. Sad is mine. Go find your own pretend emotion.

Meredith

Hey, I'm filling for Cristina, so how's it going?

Lexie

I pulled a splinter out of a guy's toe, and now I'm writing about it.

Cristina

Oh, great, I'm stuck in the pit taking smack heads and gang bangers with my idiot interns and you're getting McDreamy'd in the elevator.

Meredith

Really, smack heads and gang bangers at Seattle Grace, huh?

Cristina

My point is, I hate interns.

Meredith

Lexie's not that bad is she?

Cristina

Oh, are we not hating her anymore?

Meredith

Oh no, we still hate the idea of her. We just realize we don't have a reason to hate the actual person.

Cristina

She's an intern. That's reason enough.

Meredith

Ohhh, I think you may be the new Nazi.

Cristina

Damn right.

Izzie

[Meredith is emptying the contents of an urn into a plastic bag] What is that?

Meredith

My mother.

Alex

Happy freaking Halloween.

Cristina

[about a bag of ashes] What are we looking at?

Izzie

Meredith put her Mom in a baggie and brought her to work.

Meredith

I had to get her out of my closet, she was haunting me.

Alex

And now she's haunting us all.

Meredith

Remember when I was dead? Before I went in that water everything was so... complicated. Hard. And then you pulled me out of the water... and I came back to life. For a moment everything was so clear. As if the water had washed everything clean. Do you remember that?

Derek

I do.

Meredith

Me too.

George

It's horrible. The sex. With Izzie... [whispers] horrible. It's like she's trying too hard. I-its... you ever seen a porno? Not that Izzie's a porno; she's an angel, but it's like she's trying to... channel a porn star and she's trying to act all dirty and sexy, which sounds great, right? But in reality I just wanna say, "Izzie, just because you can do that with your legs doesn't mean that you should.

Meredith

Eh... I wanna run.

George

Run, run. Run now!

Izzie

I love George.

Meredith

Oh, God...

Izzie

I do, I love him, and I'm so happy because he's kind and, um, smart and um, sweet and sexy. He's perfect, perfect, except for the fact that he kisses like a chicken. You know a chicken pecking the ground for food, just pecking and pecking and pecking, and when he's pecking at me like that I forget that I love him, I forget that he's kind and and sweet and sexy and I just wanna scream, "Stop pecking me!" Did he peck you like a chicken, Mer?

Cristina

Morning.

Meredith

[Sees her] Cristina needs me.

Meredith

Your dad was in the ER today.

Lexie

I know.

Meredith

So, you know he was drunk and he put his hand through a window?

Lexie

Yeah, anything else?

Meredith

I know it was Susan's birthday, and I'm sure it was a very hard day for the both of you. And he wasn't actually a problem, he was kinda charming. But, he seemed very sad and I'd hate to see it happen again, so maybe you should think about keeping a better eye on him.

Lexie

Everyday is my mother's birthday. My mother was born in March. He lied. He's a liar. And I'm glad. Really, I'm glad that you found him charming. I'm sure he was delightful. He's a blast after five drinks, not so much after nine though; he gets a little weepy and mean. He's a drunk, Meredith. He probably came in and told you how wonderful you are. How sad he is that he doesn't get to spend more time with you. You know, yesterday he said that I was his favorite daughter. The day before, I was an ungrateful bitch. The week before, he wrote me a check for twenty-thousand dollars because he said I deserved everything life had to offer, because he was so proud of me, a lifetimes worth of proud. So you can't listen to anything that he says, because it's not about you. It's about a pint of Dewar's. So thank you for letting me know that I need to keep a better eye on him. Thanks.

Alex

Hey!

Lexie

I'm late for Sloan's meeting.

Alex

Yeah, so am I.

Lexie

Also, I'm not speaking to you. [Alex kisses her and she kisses back] I'm still not speaking to you.

Alex

You don't have to speak. [They gaze at each other until Meredith comes up the hall]

Meredith

Late for Sloan. [Alex leaves abruptly, and Lexie looks frustrated]

Meredith

[about a dying paramedic's wife] I've never met her before, and yet I'm the person who handed her the worst day of her life. In her story that's who I am. That's who I'll always be.

Webber

That's the job.

Meredith

That's the job, I know.

Webber

Look at me. This day, this day you feel helpless, this day makes all those other days when you fight to save a life and lose, this day makes you grateful that you have a chance to do anything at all. Take it in.

Callie

Um, did anyone... did anyone ever think you two were a couple?

Meredith

No, because we screw boys like whores on tequila.

Cristina

And then we either try to marry them or drown ourselves.

Meredith

Hey, you're leaving already?

Addison

I have a plane to catch. I walk on the beach now, I buy aromatherapy candles, I'm very zen, but I want to kick your ass so badly right now it is killing me.

Meredith

Excuse me?

Addison

I'm talking about Derek. Derek Christopher Shepherd. Are you letting him get away? Because I swear to God Meredith, if you let him ride off into the sunset with that doe-eyed little thing... [walks away]