Meredith Grey quotes from Grey's Anatomy

Meredith

Derek had a woman in his trailer last night. She was ugly. Very ugly. Except she was tall and beautiful and he was naked.

George

Oh. Uh, McDreamy was doing the McNasty with a McHottie? That McBastard.

Izzie

[to Meredith] McDreamy's sister is McBitchy.

Meredith

Derek's camping. Taking time. Getting space.

Cristina

Prestons do not go into the woods. A guy named Preston is gonna get his ass kicked by a squirrel.

Izzie

It's basically a slumber party, they do it outside, we do it inside. That's really the only difference.

Meredith

Okay, before you start, there are rules to this friendship thing or whatever.

Mark

The Dirty Mistresses Club has rules? Gosh, you'd think a bunch of dirty mistresses would... be a little less uptight about things like rules.

Meredith

Number one, no flirting. Second, no talking about Derek and C, no giving me the face.

Mark

The face?

Meredith

The McSteamy face. Doesn't work on me. I'm immune.

Mark

You know, if I'd gone off to the woods, I would've invited you to keep me warm.

Meredith

Breaking rules 1, 2 and 3.

George

I don't get you people.

Meredith

Us, with the boobs? We make a lot of bad decisions.

Meredith

Oh, you have got to be kidding me? Where is George?

Derek

[groggily] Spent the night at the hospital.

Meredith

And you slept in his bed! All night?

Derek

No, right after you fell asleep.

Meredith

So you're telling me that my snoring is so bad, how did you deal with it for all those nights before I found out about your wife?

Izzie

[walks past] He usually sleeps on the couch, sets an alarm, gets back in bed before you wake up.

Derek

Yeah, didn't want to hurt your feelings.

Meredith

Oh, I'm going to do more than hurt your feelings. [smacks Derek with a pillow]

Izzie

George has turned into a sex machine. Are you hearing me? A machine of sex! We have to do something. What's wrong with you people?

Meredith

Derek kept me up all night with his ranting. Cristina and Burke still are not speaking to each other.

Cristina

Okay, you know what? I'm fine. I mean I'm just not going to be the first one talking. I mean, he has to talk because I'm in the right. Talking first is for losers, I'm winning.

Meredith

Plus she's starving because he won't cook for her, and that makes her a little crazy. And Alex. I don't know what's wrong with Alex.

Alex

I'm good. I'm all good.

Meredith

I'm not sure refusing treatment is what you wanna do-

Apparently, what I want doesn't matter. It isn't even legally binding. So it's really about what you want, Meredith. You're in charge.

Meredith

You think I like making these decisions for you? You think it's fun to get calls from the nursing home asking if it's okay to change your medication, asking whether I was planning on giving the nurse, who changes you every morning a Christmas tip? But I do it. I do it because there is nobody else. Because you have managed to alienate everybody else in your life and I am the only one, so I have to step up and do it. [voice wavering] You wanna know why I'm so unfocused? So ordinary? You wanna know what happened to me? You. You happened to me.

Then let me refuse the heart surgery.

Meredith

No.

Why not?

Meredith

Because killing my mother is not gonna be another thing that happens to me.

Meredith

I'm a surgeon. I do the rescuing. You are not my knight in shining whatever.

Derek

So we're gonna fight because I pulled you out of the tub?

Meredith

You have a place. You could sleep at it. And then you don't have to pull me out of the bathtub. You're everywhere, all the time, saying things.

Derek

This is the happy ever after part. And in the happily ever after, the guy is there all the time, saying things and the girls love it!

Meredith

Go to work, I'll see you there.

Derek

And just for the record? I am your knight in shining whatever. [Kisses her]

Cristina

Meredith, I have a thing... news.

Meredith

You're not pregnant again, are you? Cause I can't handle the extra months of bitchiness.

Denny

What happened in that water?

Meredith

I swam, I fought!

Denny

No, you didn't, and you can't stay here, Meredith.

Meredith

I don't want to!

Denny

Yeah, you do. It's easier, but you can't. Because George's dad died, because Izzie lost me, and Cristina, when she was nine she was in a car accident with her father and he bled out right in front of her while they waited for an ambulance to arrive, and Alex...

Meredith

Stop!

Denny

They are barely breathing, this will break them, and none of them deserves that. And this, this is the big one, so you pay attention. Do you know what kind of miracle it is that Derek is who he is? Do you know how rare it is that someone like him even exists? He's still an optimist. He still believes in true love and magic and soul mates. He's waiting for you, and if you don't come back from this... you will change who he is.

You shouldn't be here.

Meredith

Neither should you.

Just keep going. Don't be a damn - [hugs her] You are - You are anything but ordinary, Meredith. Now run. Run!

Izzie

Alex is moving in?! To this house?!

Meredith

He's taking George's room.

Izzie

Why?

Derek

I was asleep just a minute ago.

Izzie

Uh! And I was naked in the bathroom when Alex walked in. I'm lucky I didn't come out of the shower to find him peeing all over the seat.

Derek

And we're up.

Meredith

Talk about divine retribution.

Izzie

What?

Meredith

He sleeps with his assistant, and a carnivorous fish lodges itself in his penis, that's instant karma if I've ever seen it.

Cristina

Yeah, well, Derek wasn't struck by lightning and neither were you.

Meredith

Addison showed up, I had months of pain and self-loathing, crazy ranting mother and a near drowning off the side of a dock. I mean, it's no fish in my hoo-hoo, but it's certainly not an easy ride.

Cristina

Yeah, well, I've cheated on my boyfriends and I'm fine. I mean am I the only one?

Derek

I'm fine.

Meredith

Are we fine?

Derek

Sure.

Meredith

Not so convincing. I shouldn't have accused you of hovering, it wasn't nice. You were just trying to be there for me. But now, I'm being available, communicating, getting naked, and doing all of your favorite things.

Derek

Hm, good things.

Meredith

Then why are you still staring at the ceiling?

Derek

I don't know, it's just, that day, you came out of the water. I spent the scariest hour of my life, trying to breathe for you. I love you, and I want you, but I don't know what to... you didn't swim. You didn't swim and you know how to. And I don't know if I can... I don't know if I wanna keep trying to breathe for you. [pause]

Meredith

I should go. I'll go.

Meredith

Stop whining! This is your wedding day. You will go down that aisle. And you will get married! If I have to kick your ass, every step of the way to get you there. You will walk down the aisle, you will get married. Do you hear me Cristina? We need this. We need you to get your happy ending.

Cristina

Okay, I'm ready.