Father quotes from Goodness Gracious Me

They're all Indian! All except Prince Charles... He's African.

What?

If he was Indian, he'd have smaller ears!

Superman's my favourite superhero.

Ah, well I can understand that. He's so brave, so strong…so Indian.

What?!

Superman: Indian.

No!

Uh-huh. Come on, you've seen the film. He runs faster than a speeding train. There's only one country where you can run faster than the trains!

And so we commit brave little Geoffrey to the place where all the little hamsters go when they die.

Is that Heaven, Daddy?

No! India!

No, Dad, not the Mona Lisa! She was an Italian noblewoman from the sixteenth century.

Son, this is Mina Losa, a Gujarati washerwoman from Bhavnagar!

Why would Leonardo da Vinci go all the way to Bhavnagar to paint someone?

Because it's quite near where he lived.

Florence?

Faridabad!

I'm gay, OK?

And so am I.

What, BOTH of you?!

Oh, my God! My son is a lesbian!

You go to your room, and don't come back until you're not of the gay!