Charlotte quotes from Goodness Gracious Me

So, Vanessa, I hear you're something of a wiz in the kitchen. Is that one of your famous curries I smell cooking?

No, it's roast lamb, roast potatoes, roast vegetables and roast gravy, actually!

I believe that mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun. And after all, my husband is an Englishman.

Which must make you the mad...

[interrupts] Another jug of Pimm's, darling?

Notice the sixteenth-century floorboards, laid down in 1348 by Edward XXII.

Yes. The plastic hallway matting complements them perfectly.

I say, Dennis, this fox-hunting's a bloody good lark, what?

Yes, but I keep falling off mine!

Well, we love our traditional English Christmases. Yes, James Bond, the Queen's speech, the smell of nuts roasting on an open fire.

Oh, so sorry! Must've been standing too close to the oven!

Hello, there.

Hello, my old chappie. Dennis Cooper. Table for four, please!

Yes, please. Not too near the band.

Haven't you got any vol-au-vents?

This is not an hors d'œuvre; this is the body of Christ.

Er, I think I'll wait for the main course then, thanks!

So, what are you fellows up to?

I'm waiting for my mamaji and papaji…oh, tuhadi!

He means his mater and pater.

Of course. Maker, paper.

Well, I must say I'm very surprised to see people like you in the pub.

What do you mean by "people like us"?

Well, it is a peculiarly British habit, is it not?

Yes, and we are peculiarly British.

Uh-huh. We're as peculiar as they come.

I choose Britannia when I fly.

Puppies and the Queen Mum make me cry.

I'm upper class 'cos I'm rich and fair.

And I wear ladies' underwear!