Father quotes from Goodness Gracious Me

What do you know? You think all we had in India was partition? Not true; we also had side-partition…

You know, like he said in that Richard the Third,'Now is the winter of our dicontent' (winter pronounced vinter). V-inter. See. Like Indian's pronounce. V.

They all live in the same family house together – Indian. All work in the family business – Indian. All have arranged marriages – Indian. They all have sons; daughters no good – Indian. Children live with their parents until they are married – Indian!

Think about it, yar! He's got two jobs – Indian. Never takes a day off work – Indian. And how does he get around? Cheap flights!

Check him out in Saturday Night Fever: white suit, kipper tie, big flares. You can tell by the way he used his walk; he's a Hindi man, no time to talk!

Twelve men sitting around a table for dinner. Where are the women? They're in the kitchen!

You've seen his portraits: a nose here, an ear there. Go to Delhi and look at the beggars; they look exactly the same!

He is as Indian as they come. He works for His Father – Indian. Parents have children without having sex – Indian. Fed five thousand people with two loaves and five fishes – Indian picnic!

Moses: the people came unto him with their suffering. He went up the mountain, and came back with two tablets, because he was a pharmacist! Noah: came from a land where it rained for forty days and forty nights – he was Bengali! Walls of Jericho: walk around it seven times, blow a trumpet, the whole thing falls down – Indian builders. And that other fellow, Samson. Huh, big strong man, long hair. Cut his hair, nigh as weak as a child, because he was sikh!

In six days, He created the Heaven and the Earth and everything upon it, and on the seventh day He rested. What kind of Indian doesn't work Sundays?!

And was Jerusalem builded here, on Jalandhar's brown, unpleasant land?

You see, you have these English people sitting on the veranda's of their bungalow's. looking at the jungle, using their shampoo. And they talk about Western Civilisation! Rubbish!

(sighs with despair) Well, I don't think you can discount the whole of Western Civilisation just because they borrowed the word shampoo.

Ah, not just shampoo. Also conditioner.

Look, will you just shut up about India! You're always banging on about how everything comes from India, it's all bullshit!

What?!

I said bull-shit!

Also Indian.

The fellow in this film, Kina Modha

(nonchalently) Clark Gable

Indian.

Don't tell me Shakespeare was Indian!

Is the Pope Punjabi?