St John quotes from Goodness Gracious Me

Been following the cricket?

Oh, shocking! We haven't been playing too well at all.

Well, you know, the cricketing world looks upon us as a developing nation.

Of course they do. But the Indians have been playing very well.

I believe that mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun. And after all, my husband is an Englishman.

Which must make you the mad...

[interrupts] Another jug of Pimm's, darling?

Notice the sixteenth-century floorboards, laid down in 1348 by Edward XXII.

Yes. The plastic hallway matting complements them perfectly.

Haven't you read your King James Bible?

Of course, of course. Nearly finished it, but don't tell me what happens in the end!

Blood of Christ.

No, no, no. I'm driving.

I choose Britannia when I fly.

Puppies and the Queen Mum make me cry.

I'm upper class 'cos I'm rich and fair.

And I wear ladies' underwear!