Teddy quotes from Good Luck Charlie

Here's some really big news. I'm eating healthy now, because I decided to like myself just the way I am.

Teddy

Yeah, she's not interested.

Teddy

Hi. You're Skyler, right? I'm Teddy.

Oh right. I saw your picture in Spencer's wallet.

Teddy

Spencer keeps my picture in his wallet? That's so sweet. Of course, I put it in there but it's so sweet he didn't throw it out.

What do you got there?

Teddy

Pie on a stick.

Where did you get it?

Teddy

Pie On a Stick. It's um my way of saying sorry to Spencer because I kinda freaked out earlier. I didn't know you two were cousins.

(confused) I thought you two were cousins.

Teddy

(frowns) No, um, Spencer's my boyfriend.

No, Spencer's my boyfriend.

Spencer

(walks in and sees Teddy and Skyler) Uh oh. (walks to them) So you two have met huh?

Teddy

Yeah, turns out we're cousins.

Anything you want to say, Spencer?

Spencer

Free sample?

Sure, I'd love one. (takes a sample) Mhmm. Delicious. You should try some. (takes the blender jar and pours the juice on Spencer's head and leaves)

Teddy

Yeah, and don't forget dessert. (puts the pie on Spencer's face and leaves)

Spencer

Wait!

Teddy

(turns to him and crying) How could you?

Spencer

I–I'm sorry. I can—

Teddy

Just don't. (leaves)

Amy

Teddy honey. Are you okay?

Teddy

(on her bed in tears and shakes her head no)

Amy

No. Oh. (gets on Teddy's bed) Scoot over. Look I know this probably won't make you feel better but I know what you're going through.

Teddy

You had your heart broken too?

Amy

I did, by Warren Snodgrass.

Teddy

(laughs lightly) Warren Snodgrass?

Amy

Yeah, he's a lot cuter than he sounds. Anyway I was madly in love with him and then one day out of the blue he dumped me for Kim Brooks. I was devastated.

Teddy

So how did you deal with it?

Amy

I didn't. I was a mess. Thought my life was over. But then I started dating this tall, blond goofball named Bob.

Teddy

Dad?

Amy

No, Bob Diddlebock but he introduced me to Dad. Look honey, the point is if I hadn't had my heart broken I would have never met your father.

Teddy

Then I wouldn't have been born…then I wouldn't have been to sad right now.

Amy

Oh no, honey. It's terrible I know. It stinks. But you know what baby? It will get better. I promise. (sees Teddy's camera and starts recording) Hi, Charlie. I'm here with your sister who's having her first broken heart.

Teddy

First? There's gonna be more?

Amy

No, honey. This is it. Anyway by the time you're watching this you might experiencing your first heart break. So just remember: it always gets better.

Teddy

And, um, I just wanted to say you were right about Spencer. It's too bad you won't have a little sister looking out for you when you're my age. Although we never know. (looks at her mom)

Amy

Oh, we know.

Teddy

(laughs) Good luck Charlie.

Teddy

This is Skyler. Isn't she pretty?

Ivy

(takes the camera) Wish her good luck, Charlie.

Well you know Teddy, (sits down) I may be only eleven but I'm old enough to know that you deserve someone that appreciates how wonderful you are. And for your information, Spencer ain't it.

Teddy

Did you just say ain't?

Listen to me. I'm so passionate that I'm throwing grammar to the wind!

Teddy

Thanks Austin. And you know as first dates go, this wasn't all that bad.

Not now Slappy!

(leaves)

Teddy

Anyways, you deserve someone great too. Somebody who's smart and kind, and well, eleven.

Shall we grab our goody bags, quick kiss and get out of here?

Teddy

What did you say?

I said let's grab our goody bags.

Amy

A disciplinary notice.

Gabe

Yes! I knew it! Finally, little Miss Perfect did something bad!

Amy

Okay, honey, what did you do?

Teddy

Well, nothing. I just got mad at a teacher because he lowered my grade for not filling in a stupid oval, so I snapped one of his stupid pencils.

Gabe

That's it? I've waited my whole life for that?!

There's good news and bad news. Mr. Piper has agreed not to press charges. But your mother is banned from campus.

Teddy

What's the bad news?

Mr. Piper is demanding an apology.

Teddy

Oh! Okay, okay. I'll say sorry to him the next time I see him.

Not from you!

Teddy

Oh, there's the bad news.

Bob

What'd you do?

Amy

Nothing!

Teddy

MOM!

Bob

Oh! I think we're gonna find out what nothing means!

Teddy

Oh, hey Derek i was wondering if maybe after school you wanna go mini-golfing.

Whatever.

Teddy

Okay, so.. Is that a whatever like, i don't wanna go or whatever like: mini-golf wow!?

Whichever.

Teddy

Okay, okay. So, is that a whichever like, whatever or a whiever like: mini-golf wow!?

Teddy

I think we should break up.

Ah, okay.

Teddy

Okay?

Yeah, i mean if it's what you want.

Teddy

Yeah, that's what i want.

No worries.

Teddy

Great. Okay. Well, goodbye.

Bye.

Teddy

Okay, sorry. Quick question: you're taking this really well. Why is that?

I mean, well If it's not working.

Teddy

Well it wasn't working for me, but it was working for you right?

Sure, whatever.

Teddy

Cool. Goodbye, again! I'm sorry. I'm breaking your heart here, the polite response will be to show a little bit of emotion!

Ivy

Hey.. How are we doing over here?

Teddy

Not so great! I just broke up with Derek and he's taking it really well!

Ivy

But that's good right?

Teddy

NO! No, no i want him to be devastated! Why aren't you devastated!?

Teddy, people are staring.

Teddy

Ah, so i'm embarassing you. No, no, you are supposed to be embarassing me, fella! Woh, woh!

Ivy

First break up, people.

Teddy

Oh no! This break up is not over! I'm calling you later!

Teddy

Hey Charlie! Listen, i don't have a lot of time, gotta go meet with Derek 'cause we're still breaking up.

Amy

Okay, okay, okay. I have my sunglasses, my keys, my purse, what am i missing?

Gabe

Your teeth?

Ivy

The missing earring is..

Inside the monkey.

Teddy

Hi Charlie. What you got there?

Charlie

Monkey.

Teddy

Can i see it? Get that monkey!

Ivy

Calm down. If the earring isn't in this monkey, it has to be in the other monkey.

Teddy

Right! Right, right, right. Deedee's monkey. That's in the police chief's house. Is that calm enough for ya?