Amy quotes from Good Luck Charlie

Amy

A mother knows her baby and that is MY baby!

Amy

You either got it or you don't.

Amy

Ok guys, listen up. Zombies aren't real! Now, GO TO BED! Goodnight everybody.

Teddy

Dr. Singh is not coming.

Amy

Oh, alright. Fine.

Teddy

So, you're okay with this?

Amy

Of course.

Teddy

That's awesome, because I thought.. What are you doing?

Amy

Going home. We'll just do this tomorrow when Dr. Singh can be here.

Ivy

I don't think that's how it works Mrs D.

Amy

Oh, c'mon. The baby's been in here nine months. It can wait another day.

Teddy

Well, can you sweat on P.J.'s sandwich?

Amy

Gotta feel the burn!

Teddy

Gotta buy my lunch!

Bob

(enters the kitchen) Hey honey, honey!

Amy

What?

Bob

I'm leaving for work. Come on, give me a kiss.

Amy

Catch me if you can!

Bob

You know what? I've kissed you enough already.

Amy

Wait before you go it's about your uncle Mel he called.

Bob

I don't want to hear it.

Amy

Cmon! He begged me to pass on the message.

Bob

And now I am going to PASS on the message.

Amy

Kitty Kat, ah?!

Bob

Well, i could come up with a nickname for you. Like, uhmmm...

Amy

You know that's really funny 'cause i'm thinking of lots of nicknames for you.

Amy

P.J. Honey, can you watch Charlie after school? I have to work.

I can't. I'm working too. I can take Charlie with me if you want. You want to help your big brother deliver chicken?

Amy

Or you could come to the hospital and help mommy change bedpans. You take her.

Amy

PJ, you have to post it online so grandma can see it.

Grandma knows how to go online?

Amy

PJ , you have to put it on CD so grandma can watch it on her DVD player.

Grandma has a DVD player?

Amy

Ok PJ you just have to go to Grandma's house and act it out for her.

Amy

Come here Charlie. Let's look at your new bed, you'll love it!

Charlie

NO!

Teddy

I bet you're glad you spent two hours putting that together, ah!?

Amy

I'm not bothering you, am I?

Gabe

A little. Can we talk about my sleepover for a second?

Amy

Gabe, you're distracting me from my housework! Of course we can talk about your sleepover.

Gabe

Ok. First question: what are you serving us for dinner?

Amy

Well, i was thinking of making my famous meatloaf with a nice side salad.

Gabe

Pizza it is. Now, I'm gonna need you to rent us a scary movie.

Amy

I don't know Gabe, i don't want you boys to be up all night.

Gabe

Oh, you just described the perfect sleepover. The last thing is, Charlie is writing on the wall.

Amy

What?

Gabe

Charlie, she's writing on the wall.

Amy

Liam, honey, is there a problem?

I'm afraid of upstairs.

Amy

Excuse me?

We live in a one story house. I've never been upstairs. And I'm not gonna start now.

Amy

Interesting new phobia.

Teddy

Stupid parent.

Amy

Heard that.

Teddy

Ah, stupid baby monitor.

Amy

Teddy honey. Are you okay?

Teddy

(on her bed in tears and shakes her head no)

Amy

No. Oh. (gets on Teddy's bed) Scoot over. Look I know this probably won't make you feel better but I know what you're going through.

Teddy

You had your heart broken too?

Amy

I did, by Warren Snodgrass.

Teddy

(laughs lightly) Warren Snodgrass?

Amy

Yeah, he's a lot cuter than he sounds. Anyway I was madly in love with him and then one day out of the blue he dumped me for Kim Brooks. I was devastated.

Teddy

So how did you deal with it?

Amy

I didn't. I was a mess. Thought my life was over. But then I started dating this tall, blond goofball named Bob.

Teddy

Dad?

Amy

No, Bob Diddlebock but he introduced me to Dad. Look honey, the point is if I hadn't had my heart broken I would have never met your father.

Teddy

Then I wouldn't have been born…then I wouldn't have been to sad right now.

Amy

Oh no, honey. It's terrible I know. It stinks. But you know what baby? It will get better. I promise. (sees Teddy's camera and starts recording) Hi, Charlie. I'm here with your sister who's having her first broken heart.

Teddy

First? There's gonna be more?

Amy

No, honey. This is it. Anyway by the time you're watching this you might experiencing your first heart break. So just remember: it always gets better.

Teddy

And, um, I just wanted to say you were right about Spencer. It's too bad you won't have a little sister looking out for you when you're my age. Although we never know. (looks at her mom)

Amy

Oh, we know.

Teddy

(laughs) Good luck Charlie.

Amy

A disciplinary notice.

Gabe

Yes! I knew it! Finally, little Miss Perfect did something bad!

Amy

Okay, honey, what did you do?

Teddy

Well, nothing. I just got mad at a teacher because he lowered my grade for not filling in a stupid oval, so I snapped one of his stupid pencils.

Gabe

That's it? I've waited my whole life for that?!

Bob

What'd you do?

Amy

Nothing!

Teddy

MOM!

Bob

Oh! I think we're gonna find out what nothing means!