This is a misogynistic truck.
What?
It's anti-woman, it's gender-selective, it's "Oh, let's drink a beer and watch the game and hike our shorts up."
“The Lorelais' First Day At Yale” · Season 4
In this episode: Luke Danes (4), Lorelai Gilmore (3), Rory Gilmore (1)
Well, I can't take it back to Yale.
I'm not storing your microbe mattress, forget it.
Well, then I'm stuck here.
Fine, because I need my truck back.
Fine, but that leaves you with the mattress.
I'm not taking the mattress.
Then let me take the truck.
But that means you take the mattress.
I can't take the mattress.
Then you can't have the truck.
But that sticks you with the mattress.
If you take the truck, it comes with the mattress.
I can't take the mattress.
Then you can't have the truck.
And that sticks you with the mattress.
We've been here before.
I recognize that tree.
You never socialized me properly, I should hate you right now. Do something to make me hate you.
Um...go Hitler!
RRussell
I'm Russell Bynes. I'm with Blodgett, Sage, Albet, Pettruccio, Stein, Lemming, and Stein, attorneys for Nicole Diana Leahy.
And the sun just went down, thanks for coming.
RRussell
Pardon me?
You're wasting your time. I had a simple question, where do I sign? It didn't require a personal visit.
RRussell
Whoa, whoa, there's no place to sign because this is just a document informing the defendant of the type of action being filed.
What are you talking about? Who's the defendant?
RRussell
You are.
Oh my God.
RRussell
Didn't you read the papers?
Yeah, the Red Sox lost by three, Bush is at the ranch chatting up a Swiss dude.
RRussell
The divorce papers.
I know what you meant. Look, I didn't kill anyone. Nicole and I just kind of accidentally got married and now we want out. We both want the same thing.
RRussell
Don't try to play me, Mr. Danes.
I'm too busy for this.
RRussell
Fine, because I should just be dealing with your legal representation.
I don't believe this.
RRussell
Not giving us your lawyer's information is only going to prolong the process.
Okay, if I give you my lawyer's name, will you leave?
RRussell
I will leave.
Okay, you ready?
RRussell
Yes.
His name is Don Dewey. He works at the firm of Dewey. . .
RRussell
Dewey.
Cheatham...
RRussell
Cheatham.
And Howe.
RRussell
Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe. That was very immature.
Yeah, well, tickled me.
RRussell
My bosses are gonna wanna hear this.
Oh, come on, they've heard that one before. Oh, hey, if you want Don's number, it's 555-5555.
S1Mr. Stein 1
Mr. Danes, a marriage contract is a contract just like any other.
S2Mr. Stein 2
As the higher wage earner, Nicole wants a fair settlement.
But I want nothing from her, so there's nothing to settle, Mr. . . what's your name again?
S1Mr. Stein 1
My name is Stein.
I thought you were Stein.
Well, then I'm confused.
BMr. Blodgett
Mr. Danes, I'm an impatient man, I'm a busy man, I'm a sensible man, I'm a skeptical man.
Oh, you're four different men, huh? Well, are they all named Stein, too?
BMr. Blodgett
If there's one thing I've learned in this business, it's that no one wants nothing.
S2Mr. Stein 2
Why won't you hire a lawyer?
Why? Because lawyers waste time and money. They're needless middlemen who slither into people's lives when they're at their most vulnerable so they can clamp on and suck like leeches until everyone but them is distraught and penniless.
S1Mr. Stein 1
Well, I can see why the marriage went bad.
BMr. Blodgett
Here's fair warning, Mr. Danes - if you don't hire a lawyer, you could wind up getting absolutely nothing.
That's what I want!
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