Mr. Stein 1, Mr. Stein 2 and others in “The Lorelais' First Day At Yale”

Mr. Danes, a marriage contract is a contract just like any other.

As the higher wage earner, Nicole wants a fair settlement.

Luke

But I want nothing from her, so there's nothing to settle, Mr. . . what's your name again?

My name is Stein.

Luke

I thought you were Stein.

Luke

Well, then I'm confused.

Mr. Danes, I'm an impatient man, I'm a busy man, I'm a sensible man, I'm a skeptical man.

Luke

Oh, you're four different men, huh? Well, are they all named Stein, too?

If there's one thing I've learned in this business, it's that no one wants nothing.

Why won't you hire a lawyer?

Luke

Why? Because lawyers waste time and money. They're needless middlemen who slither into people's lives when they're at their most vulnerable so they can clamp on and suck like leeches until everyone but them is distraught and penniless.

Well, I can see why the marriage went bad.

Here's fair warning, Mr. Danes - if you don't hire a lawyer, you could wind up getting absolutely nothing.

Luke

That's what I want!