Russell and Luke in “The Lorelais' First Day At Yale”

I'm Russell Bynes. I'm with Blodgett, Sage, Albet, Pettruccio, Stein, Lemming, and Stein, attorneys for Nicole Diana Leahy.

Luke

And the sun just went down, thanks for coming.

Pardon me?

Luke

You're wasting your time. I had a simple question, where do I sign? It didn't require a personal visit.

Whoa, whoa, there's no place to sign because this is just a document informing the defendant of the type of action being filed.

Luke

What are you talking about? Who's the defendant?

You are.

Luke

Oh my God.

Didn't you read the papers?

Luke

Yeah, the Red Sox lost by three, Bush is at the ranch chatting up a Swiss dude.

The divorce papers.

Luke

I know what you meant. Look, I didn't kill anyone. Nicole and I just kind of accidentally got married and now we want out. We both want the same thing.

Don't try to play me, Mr. Danes.

Luke

I'm too busy for this.

Fine, because I should just be dealing with your legal representation.

Luke

I don't believe this.

Not giving us your lawyer's information is only going to prolong the process.

Luke

Okay, if I give you my lawyer's name, will you leave?

I will leave.

Luke

Okay, you ready?

Yes.

Luke

His name is Don Dewey. He works at the firm of Dewey. . .

Dewey.

Luke

Cheatham...

Cheatham.

Luke

And Howe.

Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe. That was very immature.

Luke

Yeah, well, tickled me.

My bosses are gonna wanna hear this.

Luke

Oh, come on, they've heard that one before. Oh, hey, if you want Don's number, it's 555-5555.